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 Orochi Risu's Jutsu drawingboard

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Orochi Risu

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Posts : 68
Join date : 2017-10-16
Age : 28

Character File
Skills & Elements: Fuuton|Ninjutsu, Ijutsu, Kuchiyose
Class: D
Ryo: 7,800

PostSubject: Orochi Risu's Jutsu drawingboard   Thu Oct 19, 2017 1:20 pm

Name: Healing Hands
Rank: D
Power: D
Activation Cost: 3
Upkeep Cost: 2
Range: Self/touch
Speed: N/A
Element: N/A
Skill: Ijutsu
Classification: Ijutsu, Open
Requirements: Ijutsu
Parent Technique:
Hand Seals: Heaven-snake-dog
Description:
After making the necessary handseals, the user's hands will glow with bright green medically induced chakra, which upon touch with any sort of wound will slowly start reactivating cells, reduce swelling and stop wounds from bleeding. As this is but a mere patch up technique, it can only be used on small cuts, shallow bruises and first degree burns.

Weaknesses: Can only heal shallow cuts, minor bruises and first degree burns and other generally minor injuries.

Name: Wind Release: Breakthrough
Rank: D
Power: D
Activation Cost: 3
Upkeep Cost: N/A
Range: 15m
Speed: C
Element: Fuuton
Skill: Ninjutsu
Classification: Open
Requirements: N/A
Parent Technique: N/A
Hand Seals: Dog-Horse-Bird
Description:

After making the handseals and gathering chakra in their stomach while holding the Bird handseal, the user expels said accumulated chakra as a violent gust of wind. This technique is powerful enough to knock grown adults off their feet. This technique can also be used for supplementary purposes such as breaking someone's fall or repel common projectiles such as senbon, kunai and shuriken (not fuuma or giant shuriken though)

Weaknesses: N/A

Name: Wind Release: Concussion
Rank: D
Power: D
Activation Cost: 3
Upkeep Cost: N/A
Range: 20m
Speed: C
Element: Fuuton
Skill: Ninjutsu
Classification: Open
Requirements: N/A
Parent Technique:
Hand Seals: Ox-rat-dog
Description:
The user pressurizes chakra with the wind nature into a small sphere with a radius of one inch and launches it towards their intended target, when this sphere hits anything solid, it will erupt with  loud, almost deafening bang. It doesn't do much damage, but the sound may act as a confusion and can spook enemy shinobi. The sphere can reach a max distance of up to twenty meters before it explodes. The force of this explosion is enough to deliver shallow cuts due to its wind nature's cutting abilities, but only reaches about one meter in radius.

This jutsu can also be used on loose ground or sand to provide visual cover, whipping up a cloud of dust or sand of about two meters in radius for a single post.

Weaknesses: Highly unstable, will explode even when touching a leaf in a tree.

_________________
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Last edited by Orochi Risu on Fri Oct 20, 2017 3:25 pm; edited 10 times in total
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Masuyo Kaede
Jounin
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Posts : 349
Join date : 2016-12-07

Character File
Skills & Elements: Fire | Earth | Wind | Bukijutsu | Ninjutsu | Taijutsu
Class: B
Ryo: 24775

PostSubject: Re: Orochi Risu's Jutsu drawingboard   Thu Oct 19, 2017 4:06 pm

I noticed all your have the Classification as "Open." This means ANYONE on the site can learn your technique. If you want to specify it to your village only you would state "Open (Kirigakure Only)" or something along those lines. Or if this is a mistake put "Personal" or "Secret."

Make sure the costs reflects actual numeric values. For instance, Healing Hands will be 3 for activation, and 2 for upkeep. SO let's begin:



@Orochi Risu wrote:
Name: Healing Hands
Rank: D
Power: D
Activation Cost: D
Upkeep Cost: E
Range: Self/touch
Speed: N/A
Element: N/A
Skill: Ijutsu
Classification: Ijutsu, Open
Requirements: Ijutsu
Parent Technique:
Hand Seals: Heaven-snake-dog
Description:
After making the necessary handseals, the user's hands will glow with bright green medically induced chakra, which upon touch with any sort of wound will slowly start reactivating cells, reduce swelling and stop wounds from bleeding. As this is but a mere patch up technique, it can only be used on small cuts, shallow bruises and first degree burns.

Weaknesses: Can't use any other technique as long as this one is active.


Due to this being a very low-ranking technique I would like for you to explicitly state in the Weakness that it can only be used to treat/clean minor wounds such as bruises, shallow cuts, first degree burns, and only minor injuries. Also remove the Weakness you currently have. Characters can only use a single technique at a time in most cases.

Quote :

Name: Supernatural Walking Technique
Rank: E
Power: N/A
Activation Cost: E
Upkeep Cost: N/A
Range: N/A
Speed: N/A
Element: None
Skill: N/A
Classification: Open
Requirements: N/A
Parent Technique: N/A
Hand Seals: N/A
Description:
By extending one's chakra through their feet, a shinobi can use this technique to anchor themselves at and onto nearly any surface, allowing them to walk over water, climb steep rocks vertically and more. Once students leave the academy, this is among the first techniques any and all shinobi are thought and need to master before ever hoping to become a fully fledged shinobi.
Weaknesses: N/A

I'm assuming this is the Water Walking technique shown in the anime. This is already pre-learned along with all other E-rank technique. Essentially, all the "General Skills" are learned by your character at the start.

Quote :

Name: Wind Release: Concussion
Rank: D
Power: D
Activation Cost: D
Upkeep Cost: N/A
Range: 20m
Speed: E
Element: Fuuton
Skill: Ninjutsu
Classification: Open
Requirements: Ninjutsu/fuuton
Parent Technique:
Hand Seals: Ox-rat-dog
Description:
The user pressurizes chakra with the wind nature into a small sphere with a radius of one inch and throws it towards their intended target, when this sphere hits anything solid, it will erupt with  loud, almost deafening bang. It doesn't do much damage, but the sound may act as a confusion and can spook enemy shinobi. The sphere can reach a max distance of up to twenty meters before it explodes.

This jutsu can also be used on loose ground or sand to provide visual cover.

Weaknesses: Highly unstable, will explode even when touching a leaf in a tree.


I have a question for this one first. Is this going to be a thrown technique, or one that's propelled as part of the technique? If it's thrown the speed would be omitted, and instead follow the Projectile Guidelines. If this is propelled as part of the technique you could certainly get away with higher speed. This is a Wind-release technique, and it's generally remarked for being the fastest element. You could easily set it at C-tier Speed instead of E-tier.

Under the Requirements field, Ninjutsu is unnecessary to state because all Shinobi can perform D-rank Ninjutsu. It is only necessary to state Ninjutsu in the Skills field. You can also remove Fuuton, because it's already stated in the Elements.

Lastly you need to state the dimensions of the explosion itself. Due to the simplicity of the technique I would say a five-foot blast radius would be fine.




Feel free to PM me or post here if you have any concerns, questions, or wish to change anything up. I'm more than willing to help you develop your jutsu.

_________________
Strength: D
Constitution: B
Stamina: C
Speed: B
Coordination: B
Intelligence: C
Perception: C

Spoiler:
 


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Orochi Risu

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Posts : 68
Join date : 2017-10-16
Age : 28

Character File
Skills & Elements: Fuuton|Ninjutsu, Ijutsu, Kuchiyose
Class: D
Ryo: 7,800

PostSubject: Re: Orochi Risu's Jutsu drawingboard   Fri Oct 20, 2017 12:20 pm

Fixed Healing hands and Concussion

Replaced supernatural walking with Wind Release: Breakthrough

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Masuyo Kaede
Jounin
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Posts : 349
Join date : 2016-12-07

Character File
Skills & Elements: Fire | Earth | Wind | Bukijutsu | Ninjutsu | Taijutsu
Class: B
Ryo: 24775

PostSubject: Re: Orochi Risu's Jutsu drawingboard   Fri Oct 20, 2017 2:42 pm

@Orochi Risu wrote:
Name: Healing Hands
Rank: D
Power: D
Activation Cost: 3
Upkeep Cost: 2
Range: Self/touch
Speed: N/A
Element: N/A
Skill: Ijutsu
Classification: Ijutsu, Open
Requirements: Ijutsu
Parent Technique:
Hand Seals: Heaven-snake-dog
Description:
After making the necessary handseals, the user's hands will glow with bright green medically induced chakra, which upon touch with any sort of wound will slowly start reactivating cells, reduce swelling and stop wounds from bleeding. As this is but a mere patch up technique, it can only be used on small cuts, shallow bruises and first degree burns.

Weaknesses: Can only heal shallow cuts, minor bruises and first degree burns and other generally minor injuries.

Approved.

Quote :

Name: Wind Release: Breakthrough
Rank: D
Power: D
Activation Cost: 3
Upkeep Cost: N/A
Range: 5-15m radius
Speed: C
Element: Fuuton
Skill: Ninjutsu
Classification: Open
Requirements: N/A
Parent Technique: N/A
Hand Seals: Dog-Horse-Bird
Description:

After gathering chakra in their stomach, the user expels it it as a gust of wind. This technique is powerful enough to blow away everything within the user's immediate vicinity. This technique can also be used for supplementary purposes such as breaking someone's fall.
Weaknesses: N/A

"This technique is powerful enough to blow away everything within the user's immediate vicinity."

This is too vague of a description. This implies it could blow away a house or a person, which due to its rank, would be a no-go. Due to its rank I would allow it to be a strong enough gust to stagger someone back or throw their legs out from under them. Something similar to standing behind a jet engine.

Also go ahead and just make the range 15m.

Quote :

Name: Wind Release: Concussion
Rank: D
Power: D
Activation Cost: 3
Upkeep Cost: N/A
Range: 20m
Speed: C
Element: Fuuton
Skill: Ninjutsu
Classification: Open
Requirements: N/A
Parent Technique:
Hand Seals: Ox-rat-dog
Description:
The user pressurizes chakra with the wind nature into a small sphere with a radius of one inch and launches it towards their intended target, when this sphere hits anything solid, it will erupt with  loud, almost deafening bang. It doesn't do much damage, but the sound may act as a confusion and can spook enemy shinobi. The sphere can reach a max distance of up to twenty meters before it explodes. The force of this explosion is enough to deliver shallow cuts due to its wind nature's cutting abilities, but only reaches about one meter in radius. The sound however is loud enough to be heard a mile away.

This jutsu can also be used on loose ground or sand to provide visual cover, whipping up a cloud of dust or sand of about two meters in radius for a single post.

Weaknesses: Highly unstable, will explode even when touching a leaf in a tree.


Everything is good on this one except:

"The sound however is loud enough to be heard a mile away."

Typically the five senses are based on a character's Perception stat. Also since this is a low ranking technique and small in size I don't see this being heard from miles away despite someone having a very high Perception. I would just omit that part and let the Perception stat take place allowing a person to hear it or not.

_________________
Strength: D
Constitution: B
Stamina: C
Speed: B
Coordination: B
Intelligence: C
Perception: C

Spoiler:
 


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Orochi Risu

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Posts : 68
Join date : 2017-10-16
Age : 28

Character File
Skills & Elements: Fuuton|Ninjutsu, Ijutsu, Kuchiyose
Class: D
Ryo: 7,800

PostSubject: Re: Orochi Risu's Jutsu drawingboard   Fri Oct 20, 2017 3:14 pm

Edits are made to Wind release: Breakthrough and Wind release: Concussion

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Masuyo Kaede
Jounin
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Posts : 349
Join date : 2016-12-07

Character File
Skills & Elements: Fire | Earth | Wind | Bukijutsu | Ninjutsu | Taijutsu
Class: B
Ryo: 24775

PostSubject: Re: Orochi Risu's Jutsu drawingboard   Fri Oct 20, 2017 3:38 pm

@Orochi Risu wrote:

Name: Wind Release: Breakthrough
Rank: D
Power: D
Activation Cost: 3
Upkeep Cost: N/A
Range: 15m
Speed: C
Element: Fuuton
Skill: Ninjutsu
Classification: Open
Requirements: N/A
Parent Technique: N/A
Hand Seals: Dog-Horse-Bird
Description:

After making the handseals and gathering chakra in their stomach while holding the Bird handseal, the user expels said accumulated chakra as a violent gust of wind. This technique is powerful enough to knock grown adults off their feet. This technique can also be used for supplementary purposes such as breaking someone's fall or repel common projectiles such as senbon, kunai and shuriken (not fuuma or giant shuriken though)

Weaknesses: N/A

Name: Wind Release: Concussion
Rank: D
Power: D
Activation Cost: 3
Upkeep Cost: N/A
Range: 20m
Speed: C
Element: Fuuton
Skill: Ninjutsu
Classification: Open
Requirements: N/A
Parent Technique:
Hand Seals: Ox-rat-dog
Description:
The user pressurizes chakra with the wind nature into a small sphere with a radius of one inch and launches it towards their intended target, when this sphere hits anything solid, it will erupt with  loud, almost deafening bang. It doesn't do much damage, but the sound may act as a confusion and can spook enemy shinobi. The sphere can reach a max distance of up to twenty meters before it explodes. The force of this explosion is enough to deliver shallow cuts due to its wind nature's cutting abilities, but only reaches about one meter in radius.

This jutsu can also be used on loose ground or sand to provide visual cover, whipping up a cloud of dust or sand of about two meters in radius for a single post.

Weaknesses: Highly unstable, will explode even when touching a leaf in a tree.


Approooooooved

_________________
Strength: D
Constitution: B
Stamina: C
Speed: B
Coordination: B
Intelligence: C
Perception: C

Spoiler:
 


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Orochi Risu

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Posts : 68
Join date : 2017-10-16
Age : 28

Character File
Skills & Elements: Fuuton|Ninjutsu, Ijutsu, Kuchiyose
Class: D
Ryo: 7,800

PostSubject: Re: Orochi Risu's Jutsu drawingboard   Fri Oct 20, 2017 6:06 pm

Name: Pressure Strike
Rank: D
Power: D
Activation Cost:3
Upkeep Cost:-
Range:self
Speed:-
Element:-
Skill: Ijutsu
Classification: Secret
Requirements: -
Parent Technique: -
Hand Seals: Dog-Ox-Rat
Description:
After using the necessary handseals, the user of this technique can strike themselves with both thumbs on any part of their body to enhance a certain aspect of it.

-Striking the shoulders grants + in strength
-Striking the torso grants + in constitution
-Striking the legs grants + in speed.

The effect lasts for 3 posts and this technique can be used a total of three times at once (meaning it can at most raise a single stat by one tier or the + are distributed) or in one thread, ofcourse with the accumulated activation cost of up to three uses.

Weaknesses: Though this is a rather solid technique, should the user be hit by someone with greater strength upon the affected area, the effects of the jutsu will instantly be dispelled.

_________________
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Nee-san Tetsudashi
Tsuchikage
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Posts : 621
Join date : 2016-12-07

Character File
Skills & Elements: Earth Release, Steel Release, Fuuninjutsu, Misc. Crafting, Ninjutsu, Ijutsu, Sensory, Kugutsu
Class: X
Ryo: 750,000 Ryo

PostSubject: Re: Orochi Risu's Jutsu drawingboard   Fri Oct 20, 2017 8:20 pm

@Orochi Risu wrote:
Name: Pressure Strike
Rank: D
Power: D
Activation Cost:3
Upkeep Cost:-
Range:self
Speed:-
Element:-
Skill: Ijutsu
Classification: Secret
Requirements: -
Parent Technique: -
Hand Seals: Dog-Ox-Rat
Description:
After using the necessary handseals, the user of this technique can strike themselves with both thumbs on any part of their body to enhance a certain aspect of it.

-Striking the shoulders grants + in strength
-Striking the torso grants + in constitution
-Striking the legs grants + in speed.

The effect lasts for 3 posts and this technique can be used a total of three times at once (meaning it can at most raise a single stat by one tier or the + are distributed) or in one thread, ofcourse with the accumulated activation cost of up to three uses.

Weaknesses: Though this is a rather solid technique, should the user be hit by someone with greater strength upon the affected area, the effects of the jutsu will instantly be dispelled.

Approved

_________________
Stats

  • Strength: D
  • Constitution: D
  • Stamina: A
  • Speed: D
  • Coordination: S
  • Intelligence: A
  • Perception: S
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Orochi Risu

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Posts : 68
Join date : 2017-10-16
Age : 28

Character File
Skills & Elements: Fuuton|Ninjutsu, Ijutsu, Kuchiyose
Class: D
Ryo: 7,800

PostSubject: Re: Orochi Risu's Jutsu drawingboard   Sun Oct 22, 2017 1:29 pm

Name:Wind release - Wind Shield
Rank: D
Power: D
Activation Cost: 3
Upkeep Cost: -
Range: 5m
Speed: -
Element: Fuuton
Skill:Ninjutsu
Classification: Personal
Requirements: -
Parent Technique: -
Hand Seals: Dog-Horse-Rat
Description:
Inhaling deeply when having performed the necessary handseals, the user exhales and allows the air to form a minature tornado of about three meters high and two meters wide, which can act as a shield to protect the user from a single technique of D rank or lower (C rank or lower in case of a Raiton or Raiton based element).

Weaknesses: A simple and solid technique, it has no real drawbacks.

Name: Wind Release - Surprise Shockwave
Rank: D
Power: D
Activation Cost: 3
Upkeep Cost: 2
Range: Touch
Speed: -
Element: Fuuton
Skill: ninjutsu
Classification: Secret
Requirements: -
Parent Technique: Wind Release: Concussion
Hand Seals: Ox-Rat-Snake
Description:
By using the same principle as the Wind Release: Concussion technique, the user creates a small sphere of volatile and unstable pressurized air. The user can hold on to this sphere for about two posts before it dissipates. However, if the user manages to press the sphere against something or someone, it will explode into a torrent of cutting winds, able to leave shallow cuts and blowing a person of their feet, knocking them a few feet away.

Weaknesses: If the user's strength is less than C rank, they will be suffering the same amount of damage and effects as the opponent.

_________________
Orochi Risu:
 




Last edited by Orochi Risu on Sun Oct 22, 2017 3:17 pm; edited 2 times in total
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Masuyo Kaede
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Posts : 349
Join date : 2016-12-07

Character File
Skills & Elements: Fire | Earth | Wind | Bukijutsu | Ninjutsu | Taijutsu
Class: B
Ryo: 24775

PostSubject: Re: Orochi Risu's Jutsu drawingboard   Sun Oct 22, 2017 1:55 pm

@Orochi Risu wrote:
Name:Wind release - Wind Shield
Rank: D
Power: D
Activation Cost: 3
Upkeep Cost: -
Range: 5m
Speed: -
Element: Fuuton
Skill:Ninjutsu
Classification: Personal
Requirements: -
Parent Technique: -
Hand Seals: Dog-Horse-Rat
Description:
Inhaling deeply when having performed the necessary handseals, the user exhales and allows the air to form a minature tornado of about three meters high and two meters wide, which can act as a shield to protect the user from a single technique of C rank or lower (D rank or lower in case of a katon or katon based element).

Weaknesses: A simple and solid technique, it has no real drawbacks.

Having it negate all C-rank technique and lower is a no-go. Every technique has its own property and I'm willing to bet a solid C-rank Earth technique would have no problem breaching a whirlwind such as this technique.

I will tell you that given the properties of this technique it will easily deal with any thrown ninja tools and overpower Lightning-based attacks from C-rank or lower simply due to how the elements react to each other. Every other attack will be dealt with a case-by-case incident.

Description-wise I would remove the spiel mentioning how it handles jutsu of certain rank and leave it at that.

Quote :

Name: Wind Release - Surprise Shockwave
Rank: D
Power: D
Activation Cost: 3
Upkeep Cost: 2
Range: Touch
Speed: C
Element: Fuuton
Skill: ninjutsu
Classification: Secret
Requirements: -
Parent Technique: Wind Release: Concussion
Hand Seals: Ox-Rat-Snake
Description:
By using the same principle as the Wind Release: Concussion technique, the user creates a small sphere of volatile and unstable pressurized air. The user can hold on to this sphere for about two posts before it dissipates. However, if the user manages to press the sphere against something or someone, it will explode into a torrent of cutting winds, able to leave shallow cuts and blowing a person of their feet, knocking them a few feet away.

Weaknesses: If the user's strength is less than C rank, they will be suffering the same amount of damage and effects as the opponent.

If this is a touch technique it does not require a speed.

_________________
Strength: D
Constitution: B
Stamina: C
Speed: B
Coordination: B
Intelligence: C
Perception: C

Spoiler:
 


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Orochi Risu

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Posts : 68
Join date : 2017-10-16
Age : 28

Character File
Skills & Elements: Fuuton|Ninjutsu, Ijutsu, Kuchiyose
Class: D
Ryo: 7,800

PostSubject: Re: Orochi Risu's Jutsu drawingboard   Sun Oct 22, 2017 3:17 pm

edits made.

Kept the spiel on the Wind Release: Wind Shield simply for visual reasons

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Masuyo Kaede
Jounin
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Posts : 349
Join date : 2016-12-07

Character File
Skills & Elements: Fire | Earth | Wind | Bukijutsu | Ninjutsu | Taijutsu
Class: B
Ryo: 24775

PostSubject: Re: Orochi Risu's Jutsu drawingboard   Sun Oct 22, 2017 3:30 pm

@Orochi Risu wrote:
Name:Wind release - Wind Shield
Rank: D
Power: D
Activation Cost: 3
Upkeep Cost: -
Range: 5m
Speed: -
Element: Fuuton
Skill:Ninjutsu
Classification: Personal
Requirements: -
Parent Technique: -
Hand Seals: Dog-Horse-Rat
Description:
Inhaling deeply when having performed the necessary handseals, the user exhales and allows the air to form a minature tornado of about three meters high and two meters wide, which can act as a shield to protect the user from a single technique of D rank or lower (C rank or lower in case of a Raiton or Raiton based element).

Weaknesses: A simple and solid technique, it has no real drawbacks.

Name: Wind Release - Surprise Shockwave
Rank: D
Power: D
Activation Cost: 3
Upkeep Cost: 2
Range: Touch
Speed: -
Element: Fuuton
Skill: ninjutsu
Classification: Secret
Requirements: -
Parent Technique: Wind Release: Concussion
Hand Seals: Ox-Rat-Snake
Description:
By using the same principle as the Wind Release: Concussion technique, the user creates a small sphere of volatile and unstable pressurized air. The user can hold on to this sphere for about two posts before it dissipates. However, if the user manages to press the sphere against something or someone, it will explode into a torrent of cutting winds, able to leave shallow cuts and blowing a person of their feet, knocking them a few feet away.

Weaknesses: If the user's strength is less than C rank, they will be suffering the same amount of damage and effects as the opponent.

You may keep the visual, however just know Wind Release: Wind Shield will be viewed by a case basis and will not always be superior to all D-rank technique.


Other than that, both are Approved.

_________________
Strength: D
Constitution: B
Stamina: C
Speed: B
Coordination: B
Intelligence: C
Perception: C

Spoiler:
 


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Orochi Risu

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Posts : 68
Join date : 2017-10-16
Age : 28

Character File
Skills & Elements: Fuuton|Ninjutsu, Ijutsu, Kuchiyose
Class: D
Ryo: 7,800

PostSubject: Re: Orochi Risu's Jutsu drawingboard   Thu Oct 26, 2017 5:25 pm

Name: Soft Body Manipulation
Rank: D
Power: D
Activation Cost: -
Upkeep Cost: 1
Range: self
Speed: -
Element:-
Skill: Ijutsu/taijutsu
Classification: Open
Requirements: Ijutsu or Taijutsu
Parent Technique: -
Hand Seals: -
Description:
Risu's physical flexibility allows her to activate her cells to such a degree that her body becomes mallable and able to extend certain parts beyond the human limits. This technique allows the user to extend their limbs, neck, etc to a max of 3 meters, with additional 3 meters possible with each rank of Constitution above rank D, maxing at 15 meters with S rank constitution.

The speed at which Soft Body Manipulation can stretch limbs is based on the user's base Coordination rank.

Weaknesses: Can't use this technique when stamina is below 10

Name: Soft Body manipulation - Surprise Whip
Rank: D
Power: D
Activation Cost: 3
Upkeep Cost: -
Range: 3m
Speed: -
Element: -
Skill: Open
Classification:
Requirements:Ijutsu or taijutsu
Parent Technique: Soft Body Manipulation
Hand Seals: -
Description:
The user's arms extend to a length of at most 3 meters and are flung towards an opponent like an actual whip. When using this technique, the user's Speed raises with one rank, but their strength is lowered by one rank as well, allowing for fast and precise strikes, yet with much less power than a regular punch or kick would provide.

Soft Body Manipulation: Suprise Whip's speed is based on the user's base Coordination rank.

Weaknesses: Can't use this technique when stamina is below 10

_________________
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Last edited by Orochi Risu on Sun Oct 29, 2017 5:03 pm; edited 5 times in total
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Nee-san Tetsudashi
Tsuchikage
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Posts : 621
Join date : 2016-12-07

Character File
Skills & Elements: Earth Release, Steel Release, Fuuninjutsu, Misc. Crafting, Ninjutsu, Ijutsu, Sensory, Kugutsu
Class: X
Ryo: 750,000 Ryo

PostSubject: Re: Orochi Risu's Jutsu drawingboard   Fri Oct 27, 2017 8:55 am

@Orochi Risu wrote:
Name: Soft Body Manipulation
Rank: D
Power: -
Activation Cost: 3
Upkeep Cost: 1
Range: self
Speed: -
Element:-
Skill: Ijutsu/taijutsu
Classification: Secret
Requirements: Physical Flexibility UA
Parent Technique: -
Hand Seals: -
Description:
Risu's physical flexibility allows her to activate her cells to such a degree that her body becomes mallable and able to extend certain parts beyond the human limits. This technique allows the user to extend their limbs, neck, etc to a max of 3 meters, with additional 3 meters possible with each rank of Constitution above rank D, maxing at 15 meters with S rank constitution.
Weaknesses: Can't use this technique when stamina is below 10

Name: Soft Body manipulation - Surprise Whip
Rank: D
Power: D
Activation Cost: 3
Upkeep Cost: -
Range: 3m
Speed: -
Element: -
Skill: Ijutsu/taijutsu
Classification:
Requirements:Physical Flexibility UA
Parent Technique: Soft Body Manipulation
Hand Seals: -
Description:
The user's arms extend to a length of at most 3 meters and are flung towards an opponent like an actual whip. When using this technique, the user's Speed raises with one rank, but their strength is lowered by one rank as well, allowing for fast and precise strikes, yet with much less power than a regular punch or kick would provide.
Weaknesses: Can't use this technique when stamina is below 10

For power put D Rank and remove the UA requirement for Soft Body Mod. Other than that the technique looks fine.

These techniques are a variation of this canon jutsu: http://naruto.wikia.com/wiki/Soft_Physique_Modification

Generally, canon jutsu are open to everyone to learn. I think its a good idea to register its specific parameters and boosts that it gives but I want you to know that even by registering as such because of its canon nature it will be open to everyone which also means you need to remove the Physical Flexibility UA (although you may make a UA that gives you a boost while using this technique).

However, you can create derived techniques like "Surprise Whip" that can be stronger or have their own unique characteristics that are custom and known only to your own character.

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Stats

  • Strength: D
  • Constitution: D
  • Stamina: A
  • Speed: D
  • Coordination: S
  • Intelligence: A
  • Perception: S
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Orochi Risu

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Skills & Elements: Fuuton|Ninjutsu, Ijutsu, Kuchiyose
Class: D
Ryo: 7,800

PostSubject: Re: Orochi Risu's Jutsu drawingboard   Sat Oct 28, 2017 5:57 am

edits made: both made open due to soft body manipulation's canon nature. added Power D and made it explicit with requirements that only one of the two skills is necessary.

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PostSubject: Re: Orochi Risu's Jutsu drawingboard   Sun Oct 29, 2017 9:59 am

@Orochi Risu wrote:
Name: Soft Body Manipulation
Rank: D
Power: D
Activation Cost: 3
Upkeep Cost: 1
Range: self
Speed: -
Element:-
Skill: Ijutsu/taijutsu
Classification: Open
Requirements: Ijutsu or Taijutsu
Parent Technique: -
Hand Seals: -
Description:
Risu's physical flexibility allows her to activate her cells to such a degree that her body becomes mallable and able to extend certain parts beyond the human limits. This technique allows the user to extend their limbs, neck, etc to a max of 3 meters, with additional 3 meters possible with each rank of Constitution above rank D, maxing at 15 meters with S rank constitution.
Weaknesses: Can't use this technique when stamina is below 10


Alright, it looks like Nyg's concerns have been addressed. Me and another staff member had a couple other edits we'd like to see. The three meters per tier of Constitution is fine, though we'd like to see Coordination included with the technique to determine how fast your limbs actually extend. Make it so that your body can stretch as fast as your base Coordination and no faster. With that, you can take away the Activation cost and just make it a 1 point upkeep every post of usage.

Quote :

Name: Soft Body manipulation - Surprise Whip
Rank: D
Power: D
Activation Cost: 3
Upkeep Cost: -
Range: 3m
Speed: -
Element: -
Skill: Open
Classification:
Requirements:Ijutsu or taijutsu
Parent Technique: Soft Body Manipulation
Hand Seals: -
Description:
The user's arms extend to a length of at most 3 meters and are flung towards an opponent like an actual whip. When using this technique, the user's Speed raises with one rank, but their strength is lowered by one rank as well, allowing for fast and precise strikes, yet with much less power than a regular punch or kick would provide.
Weaknesses: Can't use this technique when stamina is below 10



This will be approved once the edits to the base technique have been made

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Orochi Risu

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Skills & Elements: Fuuton|Ninjutsu, Ijutsu, Kuchiyose
Class: D
Ryo: 7,800

PostSubject: Re: Orochi Risu's Jutsu drawingboard   Sun Oct 29, 2017 4:37 pm

edited both accordingly

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PostSubject: Re: Orochi Risu's Jutsu drawingboard   Sun Oct 29, 2017 5:00 pm

Please note that it can't exceed base Coordination

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Class: D
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PostSubject: Re: Orochi Risu's Jutsu drawingboard   Sun Oct 29, 2017 5:03 pm

fixed

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PostSubject: Re: Orochi Risu's Jutsu drawingboard   Sun Oct 29, 2017 5:58 pm

@Orochi Risu wrote:
Name: Soft Body Manipulation
Rank: D
Power: D
Activation Cost: -
Upkeep Cost: 1
Range: self
Speed: -
Element:-
Skill: Ijutsu/taijutsu
Classification: Open
Requirements: Ijutsu or Taijutsu
Parent Technique: -
Hand Seals: -
Description:
Risu's physical flexibility allows her to activate her cells to such a degree that her body becomes mallable and able to extend certain parts beyond the human limits. This technique allows the user to extend their limbs, neck, etc to a max of 3 meters, with additional 3 meters possible with each rank of Constitution above rank D, maxing at 15 meters with S rank constitution.

The speed at which Soft Body Manipulation can stretch limbs is based on the user's base Coordination rank.

Weaknesses: Can't use this technique when stamina is below 10

Name: Soft Body manipulation - Surprise Whip
Rank: D
Power: D
Activation Cost: 3
Upkeep Cost: -
Range: 3m
Speed: -
Element: -
Skill: Open
Classification:
Requirements:Ijutsu or taijutsu
Parent Technique: Soft Body Manipulation
Hand Seals: -
Description:
The user's arms extend to a length of at most 3 meters and are flung towards an opponent like an actual whip. When using this technique, the user's Speed raises with one rank, but their strength is lowered by one rank as well, allowing for fast and precise strikes, yet with much less power than a regular punch or kick would provide.

Soft Body Manipulation: Suprise Whip's speed is based on the user's base Coordination rank.

Weaknesses: Can't use this technique when stamina is below 10






Approved~

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Skills & Elements: Fuuton|Ninjutsu, Ijutsu, Kuchiyose
Class: D
Ryo: 7,800

PostSubject: Re: Orochi Risu's Jutsu drawingboard   Wed Nov 01, 2017 2:21 pm

Name: Ijutsu - Chakra Palm
Rank: D
Power: D
Activation Cost: 3
Upkeep Cost: 1
Range: Self
Speed: -
Element: -
Skill: Ijutsu
Classification: Personal
Requirements: Intelligence C rank
Parent Technique: -
Hand Seals: -
Description:
The user concentrates medical chakra into their palms and with it will be able to fairly easy remove any first degree ailment (first degree burns, first degree frostbite, etc) on a surface no larger than a limb, while this technique does not heal scrapes, bruises or other wounds not linked to actual ailments, it does apply a certain numbing effect to relieve the pain. This technique needs at least one post to heal someone.

Weaknesses: An overall well-balanced and solid technique, this has no apparent weakness.

Name:Ijutsu-Reverse Chakra Palm
Rank:D
Power:D
Activation Cost:3
Upkeep Cost:1
Range:self
Speed: -
Element: -
Skill: Ijutsu
Classification: Personal
Requirements: Intelligence C rank
Parent Technique: Ijutsu- Chakra Palm
Hand Seals: -
Description:
Just like with the Chakra Palm technique, the user coats their hands in chakra, but this time forgoes to enhance said chakra into medical chakra and rather allows it to remain in its raw form. While this technique is being used, the user can land more precise and more damaging blows, raising their strength by one +. Should the user strike any limb twice within the span of three posts, it will result in a numb feeling in the affected limb for two posts. Should the user strike the same spot again within those two posts of numbness, the affected limb becomes paralyzed for one post.

Weaknesses: Due to the large amount of focus this technique takes, when the user is hit by anything (ex. weapon, punch, etc. However, not random leaves or rain), the technique is forcefully stopped.

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Last edited by Orochi Risu on Fri Nov 03, 2017 3:05 pm; edited 5 times in total
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PostSubject: Re: Orochi Risu's Jutsu drawingboard   Wed Nov 01, 2017 3:37 pm

Chakra Palm- You can drop the plus in the power category, pluses are for statistical comparisons and as an ijutsu technique there's really no need for it. The description for this has me a little confused too. Instead of saying that the technique lasts one post, I think it'd be a little clearer to say that it takes one post to heal a first degree burn/ initial frostbite. If you do that, you could probably make the numbing sensation last a bit longer than one post too. Coordination also has nothing to do with an ijutsu technique that uses chakra to heal since it's the chakra doing the work and not the speed of your hands which already has a set speed via how much it can heal in one post. That part can be taken out too.



Ijutsu-Reverse Chakra Palm- Hmmmm, I like the idea but I'm a bit lost as to why this would boost Coordination instead of Strength. Please explain a bit more how coating your hand in chakra boosts Coordination in this usage, if you could. The weakness should allow anything physical to break your focus, since clubs and swords hurt just as bad as a punch would. Also, the weakness for the technique would allow you to add one more plus to the boost if you wish since getting hit once ending the technique instantly is a good drawback for the technique.

For the numbing/paralyzing effect, do you have to hit them that many times all in one post for the effect to take hold? If not, please explain how long each strike counts towards this effect. If you do have to hit them all in one post for this to happen as it reads now, you can probably increase the posts of effect to two posts for paralysis with the paralysis becoming numbness the second post. I'd be cool with you making the effect of paralysis renewable if their arm is already numb and you hit them there again.

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Skills & Elements: Fuuton|Ninjutsu, Ijutsu, Kuchiyose
Class: D
Ryo: 7,800

PostSubject: Re: Orochi Risu's Jutsu drawingboard   Thu Nov 02, 2017 11:07 am

Made the necessary edits.

Also exchanged the coordination bonus for a strength bonus in reverse chakra palm, since it would've indeed been rather farfetched to explain how or why It'd raise coordination.

Requirement has gone from coordination to intelligence, which IS said to be a main part of Ijutsu.

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PostSubject: Re: Orochi Risu's Jutsu drawingboard   Thu Nov 02, 2017 8:09 pm

@Orochi Risu wrote:
Name: Ijutsu - Chakra Palm
Rank: D
Power: D
Activation Cost: 3
Upkeep Cost: 1
Range: Self
Speed: -
Element: -
Skill: Ijutsu
Classification: Personal
Requirements: Intelligence C rank
Parent Technique: -
Hand Seals: -
Description:
The user concentrates medical chakra into their palms and with it will be able to fairly easy remove any first degree ailment (first degree burns, first degree frostbite, etc) on a surface no larger than a limb, while this technique does not heal scrapes, bruises or other wounds not linked to actual ailments, it does apply a certain numbing effect to relieve the pain. This technique needs at least one post to heal someone.

Weaknesses: An overall well-balanced and solid technique, this has no apparent weakness.



Approved~


Quote :


Name:Ijutsu-Reverse Chakra Palm
Rank:D
Power:D
Activation Cost:3
Upkeep Cost:1
Range:self
Speed: -
Element: -
Skill: Ijutsu
Classification: Personal
Requirements: Intelligence C rank
Parent Technique: Ijutsu- Chakra Palm
Hand Seals: -
Description:
Just like with the Chakra Palm technique, the user coats their hands in chakra, but this time forgoes to enhance said chakra into medical chakra and rather allows it to remain in its raw form. While this technique is being used, the user can land more precise and more damaging blows, raising their strength by one +. Should the user strike any limb twice, it will result in a numb feeling in the affected limb for two posts. Should the user strike the numbed spot again within the time that it's affected by this technique, the affected limb becomes paralyzed for one post.

Weaknesses: Due to the large amount of focus this technique takes, when the user is hit by anything (ex. weapon, punch, etc. However, not random leaves or rain), the technique is forcefully stopped.



The portion of this that says "within the time that it's affected by this technique", how long is that in game terms? Does each strike carry over to the following post, or do you have to hit them this many times in the same post to achieve the effects?

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Skills & Elements: Fuuton|Ninjutsu, Ijutsu, Kuchiyose
Class: D
Ryo: 7,800

PostSubject: Re: Orochi Risu's Jutsu drawingboard   Fri Nov 03, 2017 11:31 am

The reverse chakra palm obviously states that the numbness lasts for two posts, so should you be able to strike again on the same place in your next post, that place would be paralyzed for a post

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