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 Akuma's Free three Jutsu Custom

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Sithis



Posts : 25
Join date : 2017-11-08
Age : 24

PostSubject: Akuma's Free three Jutsu Custom   Wed Nov 15, 2017 6:53 am

Name: Thunder Release Armor
Rank: S
Power: S
Activation Cost: S
Upkeep Cost: N/A
Range: Self
Speed: S
Element: Raiton
Skill: n/A
Classification: Personal
Requirements: Ninjutsu, Taijutsu, S Rank Speed
Parent Technique: N/A
Hand Seals: N/A
Description: Allows the User to call Forth Thunder from the sky any where coating themselves with Chakra and Thunder chakra which radiates from Raiton. Granting the User 6 Whole grades+ To Their Strength, X. The Thunder is summoned by forcing the Clouds in the sky to manifest and cordering it with Charka. Basically reserve Senjutsu without Senjutsu, Sending Charka into the air and into the sky to create clouds and Forming thunder.
Weaknesses: You need S Rank Pecr. To use this skill at max with S Rank Speed to maximization the power of this Jutsu. If you don't have that you have a lesser version of this Technique. If you do not have S Rank Percr. It gives Two + Whole Grades. If you have S Rank perc it gives 6+ Whole grades to Strength and caps at X.


Name: Thunder Release Super Dragon Roar
Rank: S
Power: S
Activation Cost: 10
Upkeep Cost: Zero
Range:500 Meters
Speed: S Rank
Element: Raiton
Skill:Ninjutsu,
Classification: Personal
Requirements: Personal
Parent Technique: Thunder Release Armor
Hand Seals: None comes from the mouth
Description: The user summons Thunder from the sky towards his mouth and lungs, and Releases a Massive beam of Thunder in a form of a Dragon That is 9x9 meters girth thickness. Read Thunder Release armor, it's the same method.
Weaknesses: Leaves the target open for an attack since you can't dodge while the beam is going, Its a one shot beam, Meaning once fired it's fast and if it hits the target your done for.


Last edited by Sithis on Tue Dec 26, 2017 2:19 pm; edited 2 times in total
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Tsuyo

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Posts : 480
Join date : 2016-12-15

Character File
Skills & Elements: None
Class: E
Ryo:

PostSubject: Re: Akuma's Free three Jutsu Custom   Thu Nov 16, 2017 10:33 pm

@Sithis wrote:
Name: Thunder Release Armor
Rank: S
Power: S
Activation Cost: N/A
Upkeep Cost: N/A
Range: Self
Speed: S
Element: Raiton
Skill: S
Classification: Taught by Akuma only
Requirements: Ninjutsu, Taijutsu, S Rank Speed
Parent Technique: N/A
Hand Seals: N/A
Description: Allows the User to call Forth Thunder from the sky any where coating themselves with Chakra and Thunder chakra which radiates from Raiton. Granting the User Five Grades To Their Strength, Coordination, and Stamina. Caps at S.
Weaknesses: You need S Rank Pecr. To use this skill at max with S Rank Speed to maximization the power of this Jutsu. If you don't have that you have a lesser version of this Technique.


First and foremost, you're not getting any type of boost for free. S rank power means S rank activation for a Ninjutsu technique, we'll talk about the upkeep later. The "Skill" field is not another place to put the rank of the technique either, this is where you would put "Ninjutsu" if it was a Ninjutsu or "Taijutsu" if it was a Taijutsu technique. With that, you can also remove Ninjutsu from the requirements section since Ninjutsu will already be listed under the "Skill" field. For the Classification field of your technique, this refers to whether it's a private technique or not. If it is, put "personal" in that field. If it's an open technique, you'd put "open". If it's a village technique it would be "*insert Village name here* Exclusive". This holds true for all of your techniques, and will need to be changed for all of them.

When describing boosts, please use either "+,-" or "plus and minus" when describing what a technique does. If it grants 3 pluses or minuses, it is counted as one tier. This also applies to all techniques. Calling thunder out of the sky also indicates some sort of cloudy sky being necessary, as thunder doesn't come from a blue sky.

The weaknesses are also a bit oddly described. Are you saying you need to have S tier perception to use this technique at full power? If so, you need to describe in the description what your boosts become if you don't have S tier Perception.

My final concern is that this looks to be a ripoff of Lightning Release Chakra Mode, which is a Kumogakure Exclusive technique. Once the edits have been made, I'll be better able to tell if that's true or not.

Quote :

Name: Thunder Release Super Dragon Roar
Rank: S
Power: S
Activation Cost: 10
Upkeep Cost: Zero
Range:500
Speed: S Rank
Element: Raiton
Skill:Ninjutsu, Raiton
Classification: Must be taught by Akuma
Requirements: Ninjutsu
Parent Technique: Thunder Release Armor
Hand Seals: None comes from the mouth
Description: The user summons Thunder from the sky towards his mouth and lungs, and Releases a Massive beam of Thunder in a form of a Dragon That is 50x50 meters girth thickness.
Weaknesses: Leaves the target open for an attack since you can't dodge while the beam is going, However, you can move your body slowly to change the direction of the attack it is heading,

For the range, is that 500 meters? 500 feet? 500 centimeters? I need a label here to know for sure what the limits you want are. Under skill, you do not need to put Raiton. Raiton being listed in the "Element" field is enough. The Ninjutsu skill does not need re-listed in the "Requirements" field either.

The major issue with this is that you want this dragon to cover what I'm assuming is 500 meters while making that dragon 50 meters wide and costing a B rank amount of stamina. I'm going to be blunt here; that isn't going to happen. If you want this to have a range of that distance, it's going to need a S rank activation cost minimum, and the dragon would need to be no larger than 3 meters in diameter.

It will also need to fire in a straight line, none of this turning the head to change the direction business. 500 meters at S tier speed happens in only a little more time than it takes to type the word "ramen", so it's a very powerful technique just with that range alone. As with the previous technique, calling Thunder from the sky indicates a prerequisite of a cloudy sky.


Quote :

Name: Tae Kwon Do(Style)
Rank:n/A?
Power: Varies on the Users
Activation Cost: n/A
Upkeep Cost: n/A
Range: Self/Close
Speed: Varies on the users
Element: n/A
Skill: Varies
Classification: Must be taught by Akuma
Requirements: Taijutsu.
Parent Technique: n/A
Hand Seals: n/a
Description: User becomes a master of Taekwondo. ANd Knows all forms, and Techniques from it.
Weaknesses: It's a Kicking style. But uses 5% Of hand movement, and takedowns. It's 95% Kicks.

So for this, I'm going to need you to describe what Taekwondo is better than two sentences worth of description. What is taught? How does the style approach combat? Is it defensive? Etc and so on. Also, does this provide any kind of statistical bonus? Every style on the site currently provides some sort of bonus, though if you do this it will require an upkeep equal to one rank below the power of the technique.

For the actual filling out of the fields for this, there are numerous things that need fixed. Rank will need to be added, as this determines the word count for training the technique as well as who is capable of learning it. Power will need to be changed to a solid rank as well, and this is what determines the level of boost you may receive. For a baseline, C rank power styles grant up to 3 pluses worth of boosts. As you go up or down in rank, add or subtract that many pluses to get your maximum boost at that rank without adding additional drawbacks.

For Speed just put N/A. The style itself does not have a speed, which is what this field is intended for. Taijutsu will need to be put in for the Skill field and taken out of Requirements. Classification will need changed as I noted in your previous techniques.

_________________
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"Death comes for everyone. I'm just moving you to the front of the line."
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Sithis



Posts : 25
Join date : 2017-11-08
Age : 24

PostSubject: Re: Akuma's Free three Jutsu Custom   Sun Dec 17, 2017 9:49 pm

Fixed.
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Tsuyo

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Posts : 480
Join date : 2016-12-15

Character File
Skills & Elements: None
Class: E
Ryo:

PostSubject: Re: Akuma's Free three Jutsu Custom   Thu Dec 21, 2017 8:39 pm

Quote :
Name: Thunder Release Armor
Rank: S
Power: S
Activation Cost: S
Upkeep Cost: N/A
Range: Self
Speed: S
Element: Raiton
Skill: n/A
Classification: Personal
Requirements: Ninjutsu, Taijutsu, S Rank Speed
Parent Technique: N/A
Hand Seals: N/A
Description: Allows the User to call Forth Thunder from the sky any where coating themselves with Chakra and Thunder chakra which radiates from Raiton. Granting the User 5+ To Their Strength, Coordination, and Stamina. Caps at S. The Thunder is summoned by forcing the Clouds in the sky to manifest and cordering it with Charka. Basically reserve Senjutsu without Senjutsu, Sending Charka into the air and into the sky to create clouds and Forming thunder.
Weaknesses: You need S Rank Pecr. To use this skill at max with S Rank Speed to maximization the power of this Jutsu. If you don't have that you have a lesser version of this Technique. If you do not have S Rank Percr. It gives Two + Whole Grades. If you have S Rank perc it gives 5+ Whole grades and caps at S Rank.


This is where you'll find information on boosts and how they work with our site. With S rank power, you get a maximum of 6 pluses to distribute between your stats without some kind of offset. As this stands, you have 15. That's going to need bumped down. Also, when you get a one tier boost to a stat you need to say that it's one tier. For example, "one tier and 2 pluses" as opposed to "5+". Please read my previous comments about Skills and Requirements and how they're different. This still needs fixed in all of your techniques in one way or another. I'm also still lost as to what you're trying to say with your weakness, please clarify what you mean or come up with something different.


Quote :
Name: Thunder Release Super Dragon Roar
Rank: S
Power: S
Activation Cost: 10
Upkeep Cost: Zero
Range:500 Kilometers
Speed: S Rank
Element: Raiton
Skill:Ninjutsu,
Classification: Personal
Requirements: Personal
Parent Technique: Thunder Release Armor
Hand Seals: None comes from the mouth
Description: The user summons Thunder from the sky towards his mouth and lungs, and Releases a Massive beam of Thunder in a form of a Dragon That is 10x10 meters girth thickness. Read Thunder Release armor, it's the same method.
Weaknesses: Leaves the target open for an attack since you can't dodge while the beam is going, However, you can move your body slowly to change the direction of the attack it is heading. Keep in mind the Dragon doesn't move it goes in the forward line, however, if the user moves his head and body slowly the dragon will go the direction the user's head is turning, if not then the beam would look akward and break your entire neck.


500 kilometers is a no. If you want it to be 500 METERS, the dragon is going to be 3x3. If you want it to be 10x10, it's going to have a range of about 20 meters. 10x10 is pretty wide for S rank power and speed. The way you describe this, as a beam, insinuates it is something that is maintained. If that's the case, you'll need an upkeep. If you want it to retain S rank power, it'll need S rank activation with B rank upkeep. If you don't want an upkeep, it's going to be a one-shot beam of raiton that lasts long enough to get to its maximum range before disappearing. B rank activation is simply too low for what you want.



Quote :
Name: Tae Kwon Do(Style)
Rank:n/A?
Power: Varies on the Users
Activation Cost: n/A
Upkeep Cost: n/A
Range: Self/Close
Speed: Varies on the users
Element: n/A
Skill: Varies
Classification: Must be taught by Akuma
Requirements: Taijutsu.
Parent Technique: n/A
Hand Seals: n/a
Description: User becomes a master of Taekwondo. And Knows all forms, and Techniques from it. The Rank and power of these techniques are based on personal character's stats and strength level, their are zero stat bonuses for theses techniques.
Weaknesses: It's a Kicking style. But uses 5% Of hand movement, and takedowns. It's 95% Kicks. The techquines don't cost Charka or jutsu. Their are no bonuses.


You still need a rank, even if you don't want a boost. Make it E for all I care, it still needs a rank. Note my previous comments about skill, classification, and requirements.

_________________
Spoiler:
 






"Death comes for everyone. I'm just moving you to the front of the line."
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Sithis



Posts : 25
Join date : 2017-11-08
Age : 24

PostSubject: Re: Akuma's Free three Jutsu Custom   Tue Dec 26, 2017 2:19 pm

Fixed.
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Izumi
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Posts : 557
Join date : 2012-05-28

Character File
Skills & Elements: All
Class: X
Ryo: All of It

PostSubject: Re: Akuma's Free three Jutsu Custom   Fri Dec 29, 2017 9:51 am

Thunder Release Armor: Couple Things:
-Thunder is the sound in a Thunderstorm. You might be thinking of natural Lightning, which would make this a slightly different, weaker version of Lightning Release Chakra Mode/Lightning Release Armor. However, I think the Thunder is actually pretty badass, where you call down resonating waves of powerful sound and have this invisible force emanating from your person slightly distorting the light around you, like the heat from a flame.

-Creating a Thunderstorm has some potent possibilities, especially with techniques like Kirin out there. You'll need to note that the thunderstorm which you summon is only usable for this technique and disperses soon or immediately after it is used, so that it can't be taken advantage of by some other jutsu. In the event that you do want Thunder and not Lightning, you could make the storm devoid of Lightning (odd, I know, but so is creating a thunderstorm with ninja magic, people).

-The only known method of hitting X-Tier in any stat is through a Limit Break Point or the Eighth Gate. Customs are, as of yet, incapable of going beyond S++. You'll need to adjust your cap.

-So, if I'm reading this right, this jutsu gives you 6+, which is two tiers, to Strength. If you don't have S-Tier Speed, you can't use the technique. If you don't have S-Tier Perception, then you only get 2+ to Strength, which is less than one tier. If this is the case, then you'd be fine with keeping the activation cost at S, setting the upkeep cost to B, and removing the requirements for Speed or Perception. A two tier boost is perfectly acceptable for an S-Rank technique.

-If, on the other hand, you mean 6 tiers, then that's way over the limit. No stat can be boosted over two tiers above its base with Generic Boosters, and an S-Rank's power is set at a two tier boost. This can be stretched some with drawbacks, but the drawbacks you have aren't the type to really allow for a greater than normal boost. It wouldn't do you much good, anyway, since this is a generic booster and if you wanted to make it Unique, it would have to only boost 2+.


Thunder Release Super Dragon Roar:
-Same as Thunder Release Armor: do you mean lightning? Or is this like an ultra powerful sound wave?
-9x9 Meters is insanely huge, like this thing is damn near unavoidable at that size and with its Speed. You'll need to either drop the power, reduce the speed, or shrink the size.
-While you imply instant death upon hit, keep in mind that the power of this technique will have normal interactions with other things in the RP world. An equally strong jutsu can match it, certain armors can block it, etc..
-You say it's a one shot beam, so about how long is it? Is it like a bullet that you fire or a beam that you can keep firing from your mouth for some length of time?
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