The Senou Family Manor

Ryuko quickly polished off her third plate then set it aside to be collected for cleaning. She licked her lips as she considered going for more. She was thin so most people assumed she was a dainty eater when instead the opposite was actually the case. As a physical fighter the type of training exercises she engaged in burned a lot of calories.

Still she had to be careful with how much she took in. Gaining additional weight would do nothing but slow her down, but losing any wouldn’t be very healthy either since she didn’t have a lot to begin with.

The biggest problem now was the sheer volume of food still left at the table. There was so much that there would be plenty of leftovers even after the servants (including Sophie) had a turn at it. Ryuko hating seeing good food go to waste, especially when their where so many people in the world that could put it to use.

“Geeze Nat-chan, just how many people where you planning on hosting?” Ryuko thought to herself with a wry grin. It couldn’t have just been the four people that had shown up could it? That didn’t seem the case since rich people don’t tend to get that way by being wasteful.

It didn’t take much for Natsuru to blow apart her assertion about why Simon was feeling off. Precedent proved that he was just fine being around a bunch of girls. The real reason likely had everything to do with whatever he’d written on that piece of paper Shimiko had torn up.

The answer had been “I don’t have one.” and from that Ryuko could take a stab at guessing what the question had been. Something along the lines of “Do you have a boyfriend?” didn’t feel quite right since then Shimiko’s answer would have been much more warm. But maybe,just maybe if it had been about who her secret crush was was that would explain a lot.

Simon not being the oblivious type had used the dare as a way to try and confirm Shimiko’s feelings only to be lied to because she was upset at how her dare for him to kiss the prettiest girl in the room had gone down. Now he’d be searching his own feelings trying to figure out his next move.

“I concur. Shimiko is clearly the best choice to speak with him.” said Ryuko nodding her head sagely. Looking over at her blond twin tailed friend she flashed her a thumbs up as if to say go get him tiger. “By the way I think you’d be better off playing it straight and just asking him how he feels him directly. If you keep pussyfooting around he’s going to get away.” she said adding one final piece of advice.

Shimiko's comrades had no intention of letting her off easy. Natsuru dismissed Ryuko's theory but did not directly posit her own. The implication was quite clear though. The little spat that they had earlier in addition to the whole Truth or Dare fiasco had created a rift between them. Natsuru volunteered Shimiko to go talk to him although she did so with a bit of grace. She didn't feel the need to stress or point out the obvious. Ryuko concurred and decided to be far more direct in her advice. Shimiko blushed but gave an exasperated sigh. The food was being cleared away and Shimiko could not hide behind eating as she was completely stuffed. Ryuko raised a point that she had been mentally avoiding for some time. The longer she waited and dallied, the more likely it was that some other floosy would come by and get his attention. An older woman with a bigger chest and a higher kill count than her. Just the thought made her anxious and angry with murderous rage at the hypothetical woman. Shimiko was also conflicted in that she did not want to appear desperate or disingenuous in her apology. She wanted Simon to think of her as a good person even if he wasn't interested in her in a  romantic way. Before she went off she decided now would be a good time to voice her concerns to her friends. She sighed and looked at them both.

"I don't know guys...I know I took things too far with that dare, and I'm really sorry. But I don't want things to get mixed up. I want to make things right because its the right thing to do not just because I..like him or whatever." the last part was mumbled. She was just stating the obvious as she had no doubt that Ryuko and Natsuru knew that she was enamored by the boy. It still felt awkward admitting it aloud and this was amongst her teammates. If she had to admit as much to his face especially after tonight she might die in shame. But maybe it was better to do it tonight before he both literally and metaphorically walked away from her.

Shimiko wasn't looking for an out but if Natsuru and Ryuko gave her one she'd take it. If the girls were steadfast and adamant in their recommendation that she smooth things over with him, she would reluctantly comply. To do otherwise would be a cowardly abdication of her responsibility. And the Janshinist was all about taking personal responsibility.

Assuming Natsuru and Ryuko maintained their position, Shimiko would slide out of her seat, sigh, say a silent prayer to psych herself up, and then start down the hall. Simon had asked to be excused and he didn't say he was leaving. He could have just gone to the washroom like Natsuru guessed or maybe he was just wandering? He could also have just left and not said anything...He'd probably do something like that if he didn't want to be bothered... Then again Simon didn't leave when she tore up the paper, or when Natsuru and her were going at it. If he was willing to stick around through that then surely an awkward dinner wouldn't make him leave.

Shimiko followed Natsuru's directions and caught a glimpse of Simon leaving. She hurried to catch up with him and followed him out to the garden. She lagged behind partly because she was procrastinating the actual encounter and partly because she did not want to disturb him. He seemed peaceful, he normally did, but considering the events that had recently played out she found it even more intriguing.

Shimiko stepped out to the garden and stopped him just before he sat down. She put her hands behind her back and forced herself to look in his eyes rather than the hem of her black dress or black shoes. No fear, No hesitation At that moment she realized death and hate was easier than love.

"Simon" she called out to get his attention if her presence wasn't enough. She noticed he had put his hair into a bun rather than the pony tail and braid that he had arrived in. His hair looked soft and beautiful as it always did but seeing it in this new style made her wonder why the sudden change. She walked towards him until she was standing directly in front of him. She swallowed and said her piece:

"I'm really sorry about earlier today...before dinner" she clarified before working up the courage to be more specific. "The Truth or Dare game. I shouldn't have tried to manipulate you into giving me a kiss" It would have been easier to be vague and simply say "give anyone a kiss" but if she tried to worm her way out of what she had tried to do then it would only reflect badly on her. "It was wrong and I shouldn't have done it" By her tone of voice and expression she hoped that he would see she was being sincere. It wasn't a last ditch effort to win him over or prove a point to anyone. She wanted to him to know that her heart was pure and that she was willing to admit when she was wrong.

Ryuko's words echoed in her head as she fell silent.

“By the way I think you’d be better off playing it straight and just asking him how he feels him directly.  If you keep pussyfooting around he’s going to get away.”

If Simon had dismissed her or given any expressive indication he didn't want her to be there then she'd leave. But otherwise she'd linger until she finally worked up the courage to say:

"Oh and to answer your question earlier. I was mad but I uh" Shimiko could guess the real intent behind the question even though it did belie a lack of social awareness. Perhaps it was better to play it safe and just assume he meant well. "I think you're cute or whatever" she practically whispered with a blush so furious she looked like she would faint. Her emotional state was so charged that she had to willfully stop herself from activating her Ketsryugan.

Natsuru let Shimiko speak, her concern being she didn't want to appear too shallow. Natsuru understood how easy it would be to confuse her apology with a pitiful cry for somebody's love. "Of course. However, you must be true to yourself. I'm sure Simon knows already how you feel. To him this may only be an apology, and that alone would be welcoming. You can't go wrong, with whatever you do." Natsuru had hoped she had given enough motivation. It was not much of a speech, but simply her own wise words put into perspective. Simon's own response could vary, but at the very least Shimiko could be true to herself. As the blonde departed, the dining room was rather vacant. With only Ryuko being the remaining friend, Natsuru simply resumed her eating in silence. Certainly the party had developed to quite a stress series of events. There was too much arguing, fighting, and bitter "rivalry" to be considered a dinner party.

Now I know to only invite my girlfriends... Natsuru thought in the moment of peace as she ate quietly to herself. No conflict of interest. Just a close friendship... It appeared everybody had exposed their bad side. Ryuko, who displayed extreme contempt to Sora. Shimiko, who displayed her manipulative and spiteful nature. And of course herself, who had her moments of hotheadedness and her exposed dislike towards Shimiko. Reflecting on her past, the three of them were quite a tight group. They got along well, the only conflict in their past being that generated by her. "I wonder if Shimiko's competitiveness was nurtured by me." Her thought, escaping her closed lips and out in the room with Ryuko.

She patted her lips dry before finishing her goblet of mulled wine. "I have a feeling, during her dare, asking Simon to kiss the 'prettiest.' I believe she was trying to one-up me by the way she worded that. I can't say I ever recall Shimiko to be the type to openly boast about any characteristic about her." Taking the moment of silence she refilled her goblet and restocked her plate with a heaping pile of seconds.

Ryuko was pleased to hear that Shimiko wanted to smooth things over with Simon because it was the right thing to do and not just because she wanted to go out with him.  If she where to apologize based on a false pretense and that was the spark that finally got them together then it would be terrible in a lot of ways.

She remembered reading somewhere that a relationship built on a foundation of lies was doomed to crumble.  As long as Shimiko was honest with him, hopefully the two would be able to be happy together. Hakkin knew that them poor girl could use some joy in her life after all the tragedy that had plagued her.

As Shimiko left it was just Ryuko and Natsuru eating alone as an award silence descended between them.  Ryuko for her part didn’t know what to say or where to start.  Making typical small talk seemed to trite right now and she didn’t want to say anything that might jinx the talk Shimiko would be having right about now.

And so Natsuru continued to eat while Ryuko simply watched her already having had her fill.  It was funny really how being alone with the older girl in a setting like this was making her chest feel warm and fuzzy inside.  What was this strange and unusual feeling she was experience?

Natsuru was so elegant, so graceful that Ryuko couldn’t help but look up to her. But she also feel similar when she was around Nariko.  If it was simply admiration that would be one thing but she suspected that it was something more then that, something akin to a childish crush a fact that made her face burn with shame.

How shallow, how corrupt was she to be infatuated with two people at the same time?  She was supposed to be a paragon of virtue, how could she have such hedonistic thoughts?  The worst part was the idea of giving voice to her thoughts.  She was afraid of how Natsuru would react if she told her that maybe, just maybe she liked her as more then just a friend.

What a hypocrite she was telling Shimiko to tell it to straight when she couldn’t even tell it herself.  She was a coward and a thot.  Feelings of self recrimination and loathing filled her head and she felt like she was about to fall into a black abyss of negativity when Natsuru snapped her out of it by breaking the silence that had been looming over them.

“Perhaps you did. But you say that like all competitiveness is a bad thing.  Having a friend, a rival to measure yourself against can be a great motivation for change and improvement.  Ideally they work together, pushing and pulling each other to new heights neither can achieve on their own.” said Ryuko her words filled with wisdom.

“Of course any thing that’s good for you becomes bad if taken too far.  Competition taken to the extreme breads resentment and division and that leads…. well to things like what happened earlier today.” what she was referring to required no further explanation.

“I gather that the two of you have a somewhat checkered past with each other.  However you’ve also been thought a crucible of fire together.  What matters isn’t what you’ve done before, but what you will do from now on.” she said trying to use her own words to inspire herself.

Shimiko could be brave enough to finally tell Simon how she felt.  Maybe Ryuko could use a bit of competitiveness herself and try following her example.  She wasn’t really sure what the feelings inside of her were but keeping them bottled up inside couldn’t be healthy.  

If Natsuru rejected her, well they could still be friends at least right? After all if her friendship with Shimiko could survive a shuffle like that then what harm could a confession do?  Using those self justifying thoughts to spun her forward after a moment of silence as Ryuko worked up the courage to speak.

“Nat-chan…. Anata ga daisuki desu”  she finally manged to blurt out, her face blushing a furious shade of red.  She had a feeling she already knew what Natsuru’s answer to being told "I really like you" but she braced herself to hear it anyway.  The chains that had been binding for so long had finally been set free. No matter the outcome she would finally be able to move forward again.

Shimiko was practically holding her breath while she waited for Simon's response. The young man gave his characteristic look of nonchalance during her apology but when she revealed her true feelings towards him his expression changed. For the first time in recent memory Shimiko saw a look of uncertainty and apprehension cross his face. Simon appeared taken aback that she had forced him into this position but ultimately she knew that it was for the best. She would rather know how he felt about her than spend the rest of her life wondering. Even his reaction was sort of cute to her but what he had to say next quickly put the ball back in her court. He smiled weakly and unconvincingly while he explained that there was more to the situation between them than what had transpired tonight. A lot more. Judging by his tone it was quite serious and Shimiko stared at him unsure of what to do or say.

She had just confessed her feelings towards him but now there was something he needed to tell her and it sounded serious. Shimiko wanted to slap him across the face for ruining the moment but she knew that wouldn't be fair. Simon usually played it cool just as she almost always played nice with others. For something to crack his facade it had to be truly important and now that he knew how she felt maybe he felt that it was time to let her in on some grand secret about himself. Shimiko's anger turned to worry as she considered the countless things it could be. None of them good.

He wanted to enjoy the party and offered to talk about it on their first "date". Date?! Shimiko blushed and quickly spoke "Yeah sure! A date!" she said hoping to seize on the consensus before he changed his mind. She cursed herself for being so eager and knew that the Senou would have mocked her for it. She should have played it cool and lowkey. That was the type of person Simon was and he would probably appreciate a girl who didn't come off as desperate or too eager for her first date.

She was still glad that they would be seeing each other again in the near future. The only thing that put a serious damper on her spirit is when she fully appreciated what he had said in its entirety. Whatever he wanted to tell her was likely not positive and it probably had to do with who he was as a person. Shimiko had her own secrets. Secrets she had kept from even her older brother. She tried not to judge him for what his secrets could be. She watched as he walked back towards the party. There was no anger in his stride but there was a resigned worry in his voice that threatened to spoil everything about what she had just done.

No! I won't let it! Whatever it is, I'll hear him out and we'll face it together!

There were so many possibilities and all of them frightened her yet she seized on one particular hope. He had said it was a date. It would be cruel and mean for Simon to call it a date (thereby suggesting a future together) and not have some feelings towards her. It was a faint hope but with all that happened tonight she decided she'd dwell on that positive fact.

She hurried up to catch up with him and walked side by side with him. She reached out and grabbed his wrist practically pulling it out of his pockets. She then intertwined her fingers with his. If he resisted or yanked his hand away she wouldn't force it but maybe just maybe he'd be okay with it. It was an unusually aggressive and forward act for a girl like her. But at the same time she had decided that maybe it was time to change things up. Shimiko would cast all doubt and worry aside and squeeze his hand before smiling at him. It was a beaming, joyful, and youthful smile. She wasn't sure what dark secrets he was harboring but she wanted to let him know that she was willing to hear him out and stand by his side.

If all went as planned the two would re-enter the dining hall holding hands. They had entered the dining hall just after Ryuko had made a confession of her own. Shimiko smiled looking at the both of them triumphantly but the smile faded when she sensed the tension in the room.

Ryuko was blushing hard. Shimiko turned to look at Natsuru for answers.

Natsuru paid attention to what Ryuko had to say. She nodded occasioning between her feasting. Her words made sense. There was nothing to get worked up about. In the end things did play out for the better. There was a brief silence, Natsuru patting her lips and finishing the rest of her wine. She was full at least after two hefty servings of her favorite foods and two glasses of wine. Typically she only stayed with one serving of alcohol for conservative reasons, but she figured given the circumstances it was a special occasion. The peace would be shattered once again, though this time it would also shatter Natsuru's peace of mind. "What." She said abruptly as her tone made it sound more of a demanding statement rather than a question of curiosity. Natsuru was fluent in both languages that she knew. She did not potentially misunderstand what Ryuko said. Natsuru was taken back by the sudden confession. Judging by how Ryuko was it was a legitimate confession. The girl was blushing deep red like the spiced wine she enjoyed. Natsuru's visage was completely different almost appearing offended by the girl's confession.

"You don't 'love' me, do you? It's wrong to feel that way about another woman." She offered, asking for clarification and shutting down any potential feelings that may have developed by Ryuko. "At least as a lady, that is. You are better than that." Natsuru added to try to not come off as insulting to her friend. Being gay with another woman was something Natsuru could not imagine herself to succumb to. It would lower her social standing and outright feel wrong. "Only the poor and trashy feel the need to behave in such a manner. Ryuko, you are a priestess. An upperclassman. How do you think Shimiko would feel if she heard your confession? I'm not the one to tell, so you don't have to worry about that." Natsuru finalized adding confidentiality to her words. She hoped to have gotten to Ryuko with her words. She did not know how things would turn out of Shimiko heard Ryuko come out. Natsuru genuinely cared for the girl's well-being, and as such wished to keep her confession between the two of them. Of course, this also meant Natsuru had to make Ryuko unlearn her desire towards women. That, however, would have to come another time.

Just as her thought finish the door would open greeting the two blondes. Things certainly worked out between the two of them, Natsuru grinning as they entered. "My, oh my. It appears you two are set." Natsuru said, rising from her seat. The dinner had come to an end, everybody satisfied with their portions. Natsuru made her way to the other side of the dining table regrouping with the rest. "How did everything go?" She asked out of curiosity moving on from Ryuko's situation and to see if the two buried the hatchet or not.

From the very beginning Ryuko had suspected what Natsure’s answer would be.   They hadn’t know each other for very long, only a few months really but it was hard to miss the way her friend looked at some of the men around town.  

The chance that Natsuru would look at her the same way was slim, but she’d had to ask anyway just to be sure rather then regret never having asked at all.  She’d been expecting to be let down gently and told something along the lines of “I’m flattered, but I don’t see you that way.”

Even as she braced herself to hear those words she knew It would sting.  She’d cry a little but in the end she’d be able to give Natsuru a big smile and it’d be something to two would be able to laugh about together in the years to come.  

Instead the response she received was much harsher then she had ever expected and it hit her like a megaton hammer.  Maybe Natsuru was right, what she felt was more then friendship but it was hard to call it proper love either, but she’d confessed anyway hoping that if they spend more time together it would develop and come into proper focus.

But being told that it was wrong to feel that way about another woman. Those words just about the absolute worst you could say to someone that was coming out and unsure about themselves and their sexuality made Ryuko feel like her heart had been wrenched right out of her chest.

As a priestess it was forbidden for her to fraternize with a man in such a manner unless one retired but there wasn’t any such rule against romantic involvement with another woman.  Was she simply to be a stone, always alone never feeling the touch of another?  Of course the second she retired her father would rush to find a suitable husband for her, The entire reason she’d joined the church in the first place was to avoid being stuck with such a fate.

She couldn’t help but laugh at the crushing unfairness of it all. Damned if she do, damned if she didn’t.  Being judged so harshly by her crush was bad enough. If her Shimiko condemned her as heretical as well it would crush what little was left of her spirit and she might be tempted to commit Seppuku on the spot to salvage what she could of her tarnished repudiation.

As Shimiko back into the room, hand in hand with Simon Ryuko couldn’t help but flash her a grin, even as tears threatened to burst from her eyes.  She’d been acting as a wingman of sorts hoping to help the two together.  At least somebody would be happy today even if it wasn’t her.  

Was she right to have such feelings or was she wrong?  The only way to be certain was to commune with her god, thankfully doing so was relatively simple.  “Verdammt” she exclaimed as she grabbed for the nearest bottle of alcohol and attempted to chug it all down in one go, hopefully before anyone could even think to stop her.  It was a desperate effort to get herself drunk so that she could forget the pain at least for a little while.

When Simon returned her squeeze and gave her a smile her heart almost skipped a beat. The shame and burden of his secret could wait. This moment could last forever as far as she was concerned. The walk back to the dining hall was silent but pleasant. Natsuru grinned and welcomed them back noting at how things seemed to have gone well. Simon offered a nod but Shimiko responded verbally. "Peachy!" she replied with a genuine smile. She would give Natsuru and Ryuko the details later on. When the time came she would hold Simon's secret in confidence though. She loved her teammates but given Simon's uncharacteristically disturbed demeanor what he wanted to tell her probably wasn't the sort of thing he wanted floating around.

Natsuru's positive reaction to their re-appearance did not distract her from Ryuko's blushing yet somehow glum expression. The blonde felt as though she had missed something but Natsuru obviously wasn't forthcoming with the details. Ryuko had grinned when she saw them walk in together holding hands but she didn't comment which was very unlike her. Something was definitely up. It didn't take Ryuko long to confirm Shimiko's fears as the girl said something in a language she didn't understand, grabbed a jug of alcohol, and started to chug it fiercely. Her eyes widened as she stared dumbfounded for a few seconds.

"Ryuko!" she exclaimed for the second time that day. However, this shout was more out of concern rather than disapproval.

The girl left Simon's side and unclasped her hand from his. The break in contact didn't worry her as she was more concerned with helping her friend at the moment. Shimiko would grab the jug with both hands and gently try to pry it from Ryuko's grasp. Hopefully by the time she was able to get the drink away from her friend it would only be half full. Ryuko was not the type to up and get wasted at a party after dinner. She must have seen or been told something that had caused her to act like this.

She doesn't like Simon does she?! Shimiko considered that maybe the reason that Ryuko had been so intent on setting them up was to bury her own feelings for the boy. But the way she had leapt back away from him during the Dar was so convincing that Shimiko found it hard to believe that she had feelings for him. Shimiko didn't want to believe that Natsuru would tease or bully Ryuko in her absence. Especially not after all they had just been through. She wouldn't accuse the Senou of doing something like that but something had happened and she wanted to know what.

Shimiko embraced Ryuko with a arm around her shoulder and did her best to comfort the girl if she began to cry or look miserable.

"Why were you trying to get drunk Ryuko? Is something wrong?" the words were directed at Ryuko but Shimiko made eye contact with Natsuru as she said them. She figured that Ryuko was not in the best mental or emotional state to answer and she expected her host to chime in.

The sting of regret settled in after her words, them taking a harsh effect on Ryuko as she sulked in her seat. Truth be told, she was not the best with her people skills, mostly due to be recluse and treating strangers coldly. Despite Ryuko being her friend she was awfully blunt with what she said, and could not amend her words to fit more fragile circumstances. She wanted the best for Ryuko, seeing how much help she offered her and Shimiko. With the blondes re-entering the dining area she followed her greeting and had a rather enthusiastic response from Shimiko which solidified everything went well. At least that went well... She thought in relief. All Hell would break loose if all members of the party were bitter with each other. Ryuko instinctively went towards the bottle to drown her sorrows, such an action alarming Shimiko. Damn Shimiko and her nosiness! A cold sweat ran down her body as Shimiko interrogated the young priestess going as far as to remove the drink from her hand. On top of it, Shimiko asked Natsuru directly what was wrong.

Natsuru was quick-witted and grinned softly as to show sympathy, rather than a bright radiant smile. She would lean in towards Shimiko and whisper in her ear, using an open hand to cover her words to prevent Simon from hearing. Natsuru would speak quietly into Shimiko's ear. "She has cramps. It's that time for her." She spoke in privacy to prevent Simon from hearing. Although Natsuru disliked talking about hygiene after a rather large meal it was necessary to let Shimiko know to potentially save her own skin. Half of her expected some type of violent reaction from Shimiko if Ryuko were to spill the beans, and the other half honestly thought she would condemn Ryuko for being gay. Natsuru saw herself as the more tolerant of the two. Ryuko had extreme views about class, seeing how harshly she treated Sora. Natsuru could put money on Shimiko being rather bigoted as well in her own terms. Although she had her own personal dislikes she was willing to not harshly condemn Ryuko for it or think of her as anything less.

As such she began thinking of ways to mend her broken heart. Her first solution was obvious: food. However, she didn't want to think about the "F" word after such a massive dinner. Perhaps she would give it some time. There was a lot to think about after today. Natsuru was prepared to call it a night. "Anyways, I hope you all enjoyed the dinner. I'm sure we all have a lot to unwind with." She said, alluding to thoughts good and bad. It was roughly seven in the evening, which gave them enough time to have the rest of the night to themselves.

Simon peers around the room once they've slipped back into it, keeping his thoughts contained to himself as usual. He immediately quirks his brow upright in response to what seems to be some sort of altercation--or well the aftermath, between Ryuko and Natsuru. Naturally, he doesn't say anything though, letting Shimiko take care of inquiring about it. It felt more like their business than his own.

He tucks his hand back into its pocket once Shimiko's went to prevent Ryuko from trying to down alcohol, waiting until Natsuru's finished whispering something. Afterwards, he ambles on forward slowly, moving his hand to undo his hair bun, letting his hair fall down entirely. He tucks the hair tie away into his pocket, then starts to pull on the thin overcoat he carried into the party, adjusting the collar to ensure its proper. In the midst of that, he speaks.

"Hey. I already told Shimiko but sorry about the whole dare thing." The blonde remarks, offering a small smile to show he was being earnest with that apology. "Let's do this whole dinner party thing again sometime. Could maybe invite others too or something, or have someone else host it next time." He casually suggests, pushing his hair out from under his coat.

Simon turns on his heel at that point, slipping his hands into the pockets of the overcoat, and beginning to slowly saunter off at that slow and easy pace, to give them plenty of time to potentially interject, if they had anything to say to that.

(exit)

Ryuko had scarcely begun to drink when she heard a familiar voice shout her name in concern. The next thing she knew she felt the jug being pulled away from her.  The force being used wasn’t strong, but Ryuko was only using one hand to hold it opposed to Shimiko’s two. Without her chakra enhanced strength activated it would be difficult to resist and frankly she wasn’t in the right state of mind to even try.

She’d only managed to get a couple good sips in, and simply sighed in reaction as she wiped a bit of wine that had dripped onto her cheek when the jug had been pulled away.  So it seemed she was to be denied even the escape of intoxication, life was very cruel indeed.  As Shimiko asked why she was trying to get drunk Ryuko vaguely wondered if she had managed to get enough into her system for the commune with her god could begin.

She had so many questions for him, She felt adrift at sea without a life preserver as she fretfully waited for answers. Answers that showed no signs of forthcoming.  Was it really wrong for a woman to love another woman? And if so why had she been made this way?

She closed her eyes looking inside herself, trying to find the right words to tell Shimiko about her troubles, or if she should even say anything at all.  Her friend seemed pretty open minded to her, but she was afraid to admit anything, afraid that she would receive the same scornful judgement again.

But as Natsuru took Shimiko to the side and whispered something to her Ryuko knew it had to be a lie, a fabrication.  After all Natsuru had explicitly said that it wasn’t her secret to tell and Ryuko knew she that she was a person that could be counted on not to spill the beans.  

Could she really let things stand like that and be ‘saved’?  The team had already nearly been torn apart once because they hadn’t been open enough with each other about what they where feeling.  If they kept it hidden now and Shimiko found out latter in the middle of a mission it could cause a disruption in their team work, spreading division when they needed unity the most.  

For the sake of the team, for the sake of the village, Ryuko needed to come clean with her shame before it was too late.   Natsuru was already getting ready to wrap things up,  telling them that she hoped they had enjoyed the dinner while Simon apologize for her role in the whole dare thing.  

Ryuko almost wished she could thank him from what he’d done.  If he hadn’t given her such a scare earlier she wouldn’t have been able to put her one feelings into context.  It was a very mixed blessing to be sure, but a blessing all the same.

“Apparently girls can’t love girls, tis forbidden love.”  replied Ryuko as she stood up from her chair and gazed out the nearest window forlornly, tears streaming from her eyes.  She had already cried so much today it was a wonder she had any left to shed.

Simon departed the group as he had enough excitement for one day. Shimiko would be looking forward to their first date together but first she had to deal with the situation at hand. Natsuru spoke directly into her ear and whispered a secret. Shimiko's eyes grew wide and was followed by a near silent "Ooooh". She now understood. Ryuko was feeling crabby, pained, and emotional as most young girls did during that time. If that was the case then it was best that they all head home rather than leave Ryuko uncomfortable. Shimiko turned to give her friend some advice about staying in bed and taking it easy when Ryuko interrupted her to spill the beans. She openly lamented that it was not okay for girls to love girls. The revelation stunned Shimiko as she immediately deduced what was meant by the statement. Ryuko was essentially saying she loved girls. But which girl? A random one neither of them had met? Natsuru? Herself? The situation was missing context and she turned to Natsuru growing frustrated. Something had happened here and she wasn't getting the full details. This agitated her. It was possible Natsuru had lied to spare Ryuko the embarrassment but after all they had been through she expected that they could be honest with each other.

"Nani?!" she blurted "What happened while I was gone? Tell me the whole story!" her tone had shifted towards a more demanding one. She did not want to frighten Ryuko but she couldn't help if she didn't know what was going on.

Shimiko did not look highly upon homosexuality of any kind. She had indeed been raised better than that. The practice itself didn't offend her per se but she had for a long time thought it to be some kind of insult rather than something people willfully took on. She had read clan history wise that a Chinoike had been put to death for calling an Inazuma sailor a boylover who had made his career entering into the ports of other men. The scandal was so uproarious that the Chinoike Clan leader had murdered the man himself so as to spare the threat of war between the two clans. Shimiko had since then considered it to be a humiliating and indecent insinuation that could only be answered with the blood of the one who had made the accusation. She had recently learned through her fellow cultists that some actually rather enjoyed making love to members of the same sex. Shimiko was off put by the revelation but she had come to see many disturbing and frightening things as a Janshinst so she grew to accept the fact that some were gay or lesbian. The religion didn't speak on the subject directly but most interpreted its teachings on other issues (various other vices) to apply to LGBT individuals: "Do as thou wilt". Shimiko didn't care if Ryuko was a lesbian, she would be her friend and sister no matter what.

That being said she also had a reputation to uphold. Even if she found girl on girl love permissive she could not admit such publicly. Shimiko had an image of herself in her mind that she would kill to protect. That image unfortunately did not include openly accepting homosexuality. If Ryuko really did like girls Shimiko would have to find a way to gently tell her that she should keep such feelings to herself until she was absolutely sure the person in question felt the same. Shimiko guessed that Natsuru had not done that.

Natsuru felt safe at first after whispering into Shimiko's ear, the girl's response being receptive. After all it was an acceptable reasoning, and one good enough to tell in private. Despite that, Simon was already gone which made the entire situation more at ease for her. With the boy gone it was just the three girls. But that did not mean all troubles were gone. Ryuko blew the entire cover and the fabricated lie Natsuru had set in place to protect her by running her mouth. A cold sweat of shock and embarrassment of being caught red-handed after she had just told Shimiko she was on her period. In that moment Natsuru had a distinct urge to punch the priestess in the mouth for being overrun by her emotions. The desire was short-lived, however, as Natsuru truly cared for her. She was like family, much like Shimiko. She could get mad and even wish violence upon either of them, but the consequences and long-term damage it may cause made the entire thought unappealing.

Natsuru sighed, eyes closed. "Well, at least now that Simon's gone I can tell you the truth. Ryuko is gay, She paused, opening both eyes and shifting them towards Shimiko with her face showing anger and disgust as she mustered out, "And she's gay for me." Natsuru was different than Shimiko in the sense that she nearly despised homosexuality and viewed it as disgusting. She was tolerant of Ryuko, simply because she was a valued team member. Natsuru personally felt she could fix Ryuko, but did not know where to start. Perhaps is was valuable now that she told Shimiko. Maybe the little lemonhead had a remedy for such behavior, something that she was not fortunate to have.

Sophie quietly watched from the corner of the room, her face like a stone threatening to crack as her master began to shed tears once more.  The lady in waiting had been serving the Rose family for almost as long as she could remember.  Despite their deference in status she had a very close relationship with it’s youngest member who had fallen under her care at the tender age of five.

She saw Ryuko almost more as a little sister then as as her lord, and as such was extremely devoted to caring for the young priestess.  Her support amounted to mostly little things like making sure that her clothes where always cleaned just right and that she got enough vegetable to eat. Occasionally she could provide a shoulder to be leaned on, but for the moment she was powerless to help.  It was times like this that made her wish she could do more.  

If they where at home at the manner she might have managed something, but here in public her lips where sealed.  The role of a servant while on duty was to be mostly to be seen, not heard and even then they where to fade into the background when not needed. The only exception would be to ask  things such as which flavor of tea a guest might like to be served and the like.

Breaking protocol now would only bring more shame down upon her master,  she simply didn’t have the heart to do that to the poor girl who it seemed had suffered a lifetimes worth in the span of a single day.   In her current fragile state of mind that might just be the straw that broke the camels back.

Sophie had suspected for a while now that her master might be queer, not that it changed her opinion of her in the least but she hadn’t expected her to try coming out here of all places or for it to backfire in her charges face so badly.  

Contrary to popular belief a noble's life wasn’t all full of sunshine and rainbows.   Thought they often had great wealth and status they also had the tremendous responsibility to go with it.  Shackled by things like tradition and obligations they had far less freedom then the average citizen to live how they pleased.  

By opening admitting she was gay, even in such closed circumstances such as this Ryuko had chosen a thorny path for herself, full of unknowns and hardship.  Things would be easy for her if she was into men. With her beauty and status they would line up down the street for her allowing her the pick of the litter.  

Finding a willing woman on the other hand would be almost like trying to find water in a vast open desert.  Not entirely impossible but extremely unlikely and she risked everything she had in doing so.  Her reputation, her wealthy could all be stripped away with one or two bad moves.

Those type of thoughts couldn’t be further from Ryuko’s mind as she stared out the window. She could see a partial reflection of the confusion on Shimiko’s face as her friend demanded an explanation and from Natsuru’s at having her little fib revealed so quickly.

Normally she would have at least smirked and thought that it severed the girl right, especially after what she had done, but at the moment she was too emotionally drained to care.  She felt so empty and hollow inside and a coldness so bitter it chilled her to the bone.  What was the point of it all really? What did she even have left to live for?

“Must you be so blunt about it?” she complained thinking that their had to be a better more romantic way to put it.  And for someone who was so disgusted by the idea she sure seemed pretty proud of the fact that SHE had been the target of Ryuko’s affection and not Shimiko.   But it was such a Natsuru like thing to say that she couldn’t be angry about about it.

With a sigh she closed her eyes, finally trying to come to terms with the fact that while she liked Natsuru as more then just friends Natsuru would never like her back in the same way.  She had heard that your first crush could often be bittersweet but it was only now that she could truly understand what that meant.

Slowly warmth begin to flow back into her body. Some would say it was just the alcohol she’d managed to down earlier kicking in but to the deeply religious Ryuko it was a divine revelation from her god.  

Yes she might have picked the wrong target for her affections but those type of feelings in themselves where not bad ones to have.  Love was love and their wasn’t enough of it in the world as things stood.  The idea that something so pure would be forbidden was laughable.

Opening her eyes again, she watched out the window once more the scenery reminding her of the lyrics to one of her favorite songs which was strangely appropriate to the situation at hand.  She had been planning to put on a performance for them tonight, what better way to make a statement of her intent going forward.

Eyes burning with determination she had out her hand towards Sophie. The maid flashed her a smile in return, her heart overjoyed to she her master return to her usual confident self then handed Ryuko her Mandolin.

“Hakkin has spoken, by his divine decree I do thus declare, So what if I’m gay?” she said defiantly before beginning to play, using the lyrics of the song to speak to her friends directly from soul to soul.  

The truth was fully out. Ryuko had come out as gay and the object of her affection was Natsuru. The way that the indigo haired girl had said it though made it abundantly clear she did not see Ryuko in the same way. Shimiko could only imagine how Natsuru must have brutally rejected Ryuko. The thought made her angry at Natsuru. She didn't seem to have a single gentle bone in her body and for the first time since had they fought a look of genuine anger would flash across the Chinoike's face. She found herself gripping Ryuko's shoulder tightly as if to ground herself and not let her emotions take charge. Perhaps it was that Ryuko had found Natsuru more attractive or maybe it was just that she imagined Natsuru shooting down Ryuko in the most hurtful and mocking way possible. Shimiko wasn't gay herself but she knew it must have been incredibly hard for Ryuko to admit such a thing. She had felt like she was going to die just talking about it with Simon and there's was an attraction that was not frowned upon by society.

Ryuko complained in the way only a scorned lover would. Her tone and words suggesting that it was completely true. Shimiko fell silent, unsure of how to defuse the situation. Ryuko's sexual orientation was problematic given her political stature but Shimiko did not want to push their comrade away. Ryuko broke the silence and declared with much fanfare that according to her false God there was nothing wrong with being gay. This caused Shimiko to raise an eyebrow. She didn't know much about Ryuko's religion but she hadn't thought it would be okay with yuri love.

Shimiko stepped back and allowed Ryuko to play her instrument as she had done before. The music was beautiful and awe-inspiring like always. She was talented and Shimiko guessed that composing and playing music was therapeutic for her. Shimiko clasped her hands behind her back and listened thoughtfully as she considered her own response.

When Ryuko had finished playing, Shimiko would start to speak:

"I think....I think that its okay that your gay Ryuko" Shimiko said unwilling to ostracize or judge her friend for her vices. If she had told them about her own religious affiliations she would want them to be understanding. It was only fair that she extended the same courtesy to Ryuko. If she could live with her fellow worshipers being bisexual or homosexual surely she could deal with her friend and sister being gay. "We" the word was emphasized and Shimiko cast a glance at Natsuru. "Love you no matter what and we will always be there to support you. If this is a part of who you are and what you want to be, we won't try to fight you over it or change you" Shimiko was speaking for herself but she lumped in Natsuru because she was unwilling to let the Senou break the bonds that had just been forged tonight. With each and every revelation and cathartic confession various relationships had been strengthened. "I hope you find someone who feels the same way as you do Ryuko, I really do but until that time please be careful. Not everyone will be as accepting and tolerant as us. I want you to be who you want to be but I care about your safety too. What you said here tonight can't leave this room"

Shimiko had said her piece and she hoped Natsuru would just let Ryuko be. Natsuru did not have to return her affection but she did need to be supportive of her friend. Shimiko was not sure what she would do if after all of this Natsuru would sever ties with Ryuko because she was proud of her sexual orientation.

Shimiko made it abundantly clear that she was not going to tolerate Natsuru's behavior, or Ryuko publicly acting gay for that matter. Natsuru was fine with it. After all, she never truly cared about what other people did. Their choices had little to do with her own personal life. She had her personal views on the act, which she clearly expressed when Ryuko confessed her feelings to Natsuru. "As I told Ryuko before, I do not intend to share this with anybody else. It was the entire reason why I fabricated the lie when you asked why she was drinking. I wanted to keep this entirely between the both of us, but it appears you are now included. Nonetheless, I don't care what you do. That doesn't mean other people won't." Natsuru went to grab an egg roll from the table setting, the brief conflict and being near so much food made her cave into her temptations. She'd crunch the head off, chewing briefly in silence.

"Sometimes it's best to keep certain traits about yourself out of public eye. A person is tolerant, but people are ignorant, arrogant, and panicky. Certain groups of people execute the gays. I'd rather you just avoid that conflict in general." Everybody had their own secrets they kept from each other. Natsuru wanted to ensure all of them were taken care of and was seen as "normal" in society. Especially since the higher class tended to gossip a lot more than what's good for them. She would finish devouring the egg roll in a matter of seconds after picking it up. "But as I said, I think there's been enough for tonight. I'm rather weary. I hope to see you all again sometime soon." She left her statement as is, ending the mood on a neutral note. Today was especially long, with her planning for everything from her creations to the party itself. Being a hostess was a lot of work. Nonetheless she would make her way to her bedroom where she would retire for the night.

[End]

The group had reached a consensus. Ryuko was not to publicly act on her desires but they would not judge her or disown her because of her attraction to other females. Natsuru was more blunt and factual in her approach to the situation. She eschewed niceties and plainly stated the reason for her deception and the danger of being openly gay in such a traditional society. Shimiko sighed and smiled, Natsuru was clearly acting like her regular old self. It would be hopeless to think that she would treat anyone with kiddie gloves even her own teammates. It wasn't how Shimiko would have handled the conversation but she learned to accept that they all had their own way of dealing with these types of situations. So long as they agreed on the substance there wasn't much more to it than that.

"Yeah its been a long night. Thanks for hosting Natsuru. Ryuko keep your head up, I'm sure things will work out for you someday" she said with a vague note of optimism. "I'll catch up with you guys later and let you know how things go with Simon" she added with a radiant smile. She didn't want to make tonight all about herself but she did want to keep them looped in on how things were going with her now maybe-potentially-not-officially-but-still-likely boyfriend. She waved and said "Good night guys" and then made her way to the front door. A servant opened the door for her and she stepped out into the cool night air. She walked home happy that she had kept her closest friends and won the possible companionship of one Simon Kageyama.

(Exit)

As Ryuko finished the song, her heart felt completely refreshed.  It had taken so long to admit even to herself that she was gay, and now everything was out in the open least among her squad if not the general public. Even if she could only truly be herself around them,  the sense of liberation was exhilarating.

They where willing to accept her no matter how queer she was.  It gave her the sense that as long as the three of them where together they could overcome almost any obstacle.  She might not have found romantic love today like she was hoping for but she had gained something equability important, bonds of friendship forged stronger then steel.

As a Noble woman Ryuko had tried her hand at several of the types of art but the truth was she wasn’t very good at most of them.  She could play the guitar at reasonable level for an amateur and had a good signing voice but that was about the extent of her talent.  

While Natsuru was undeniable stunningly beautiful the thing that had first drawn Ryuko wasn’t her looks, or even her personality but her art.  The day they had first met, back in the park Natsuru had been painting.  After the impromptu training session Ryuko had caught a glimpse of at the incomplete portrait her friend had been working on and had found it to be a masterpiece in the making.

The others where right thought it had been a long night, and all the emotions that had been let out only served to make it feel even longer and had left her feeling terribly tried.  If she didn’t get to bed soon she was going to have a terrible time of things come the morning.

“Very well then, let us retire for the evening.  Shi-chan, Nat-chan Thank you for everything.”said Ryuko as she beamed them a warm smile. She waited just long enough for Sophie to collect her share of the leftovers as was standard protocol before giving her friends a polite bow and departing.   She had a lot of think about, but that could wait until after some much needed rest.

[exit]