Midnight Convergence

It was the middle of the night by the time Mitsu arrived back in Iwa from her travels. She felt as though she had been gone for years and as she reentered the city she paused to look around and take in the sight of her home. The streets were quiet, as was to be expected in the full dark, most of the shops were closed with the exception of what she assumed were restaurants or taverns far off in the market district. She could hear the faint murmur of people talking and laughing and the subtle glow of dim indoor light that waxed and waned with the opening and closing of what must be a door.

She had already seen to getting accommodations for Rin and Maiori, and now she was left not knowing what to do with herself. It was the middle of the night so no business could be done until at least the next morning. Standing on a quiet market street she looked around as she struggled to decide where she should go. She had a home, but currently it didn’t feel like it. As friendly as she was, she had made little progress when it came to actually making friends in Iwagakure. And that had never been so painfully obvious as the day that Masaru had been brought home in a coma. Her only friend at the time was no longer around to talk to, to help her and support her. And although she had tried to befriend others, she was always left alone or distinctly unwanted in the end.

The only person that she still knew was probably her friend, was Shin. From her perspective Shin was definitely her friend, probably her best friend, but it had been a while and she’d lost friends over time before. He had however, promised that his door would always be open to her, and right now she needed someone to talk to. Her experience in Konoha and the events that had led to the necessity of her travels were still weighing heavily on her heart. Running her palms quickly over the outside of both her arms she tried to warm herself up, the night air affecting the desert native woman more than most people in Iwa.

A loud ‘bang’ caused her to jump, the sound coming from the direction of the far away carrying ons, and most likely the result of a fallen crate or a too enthusiastically closed door. She didn’t give the noise too much thought, as the only thing she understood at that moment was panic. Her heart raced though as fear crept in again and she moved immediately, her feet pounding on the streets as she sped along to the Muramatsu district. She didn’t stop to acknowledge anyone as she made a beeline for Shin’s front door and knocked insistently. She was a mess; days of travel had wrinkled her white and gold dress, her free arm still hugged around her as the shoulderless clothing ensemble did nothing to keep out the cold or hide the bruising on her shoulder. Her pink eyes shone in the dark of night, glistening all the more as she fought back the emotional deluge that threatened to pour forth, both from the emotional pain she felt and the sharp stabbing in the scar on her stomach and the bruising on her shoulder. She would keep knocking until Shin arrived, or until it became clear that he wasn’t going to answer. If he didn’t she would curl up on the front steps, a tightly coiled ball of panic and sorrow and pain.

Shin always presumed he was a heavy sleeper and he usually was prior to having arrived in Iwagakure no Sato, yet ever since his very first night in Earth Country, even prior to settling inside the village, he found himself waking up countless times during the night. Usually, it was due to a bout with his dreams; dreams where a future that never occurred was taking place. A future where he was able to wake up in the mornings to a home-cooked breakfast by his parents, sitting down with them and talking and living a relatively normal life, for a shinobi. In all of those dreams, it had one congruent theme; a lifetime of living in Iwagakure no Sato. Yet every time there would be some ever-present reminder that this was not the future that came to be - that Shin had been uprooted and left in Kumogakure no Sato and his parents were who knows where. This usually woke him up every time, a cold sweat and the realization he was, inevitably, alone. For all intents and purposes, he knew of people and had been able to form an uneasy friendship with Katsumi, and a relatively normal one with Mitsukira Tatsudashi. Yet, he had not seen either of them in ages and his mind was simply left to wander on its own, drawing up conclusions about his parents that were seemingly preposterous.

Tonight there was no dream that woke him up, rather it was a constant banging that alerted him to someone’s presence being near his home. It took a moment longer than required for his sleep-addled mind to perceive what exactly the noise was. Someone knocking on his door, more specifically his front door. Laying in the exact same position he had been in for the previous few hours, Shin tried to deduce who it could be. A clansman? No. They would head to the council for any issues that concerned them… unless it was a neighbour that required immediate help. Or perhaps it was someone from administration telling him he’d been assigned a mission in the middle of the night. That was far more likely. Perhaps a raccoon had learned how to knock on doors and decided it was the best way into someone’s home.

With his mind still unable to reach a reasonable conclusion, Shin would shove the sheets off himself and groggily get up from his bed. Clad in only pajama bottoms, for he often slept without a shirt, Shin would lazily make his way towards the front door, ready to figure out what was going on. Already, his mind was planning on getting prepared for a mission, as that was the only reasonable conclusion he could reach. The knocking continued, never once stopping, and he doubted it would relent until he opened the door.

Approaching his front door, Shin would open the door only for his previous thoughts to come to a halt. Mitsukira was certainly not who he was expecting at the door, but that was certainly not Shin’s concern as of this moment. His eyes hyper-focused on the distraught figure of Mitsukira, her clothes ragged and wearing the signs of travel. Mitsukira herself looked like she’d shatter like glass if pushed even the slightest and the notable bruise upon her shoulder certainly raised another question for Shin. Yet it was her eyes that had him more concerned about her, though if he had the right to ask about what was going was not a question he concerned himself with at the moment. If she had sought him out, at his own home, in the middle of the night, the least he could do was make sure she was fine, had somewhere to relax, and ultimately ease the numerous worries that were on her mind.

“Mitsukira...” The sleep was still evident in his voice, yet there was an overlap of concern as well. “Come in.” The words were still a bit drawn out, but he suppressed the incoming yawn for his worry over his friend. He would slowly reach out with his bare right arm, and should Mitsukira show no signs of flinching away from his touch or apprehension, he could direct it to the middle of her back and guide her into his unlit home. While he was certain she would be able to make her way in without an issue, having been here before, he hoped his touch would convey that he would be there for her. Once they would reach the living room, he would pose a single question. “Is there anything I can get you? Water? Tea?” Even if she did not require something to drink, perhaps just having the weight of a cup in her hands would ease some worries.

Shivering from the intensity of her emotions, but more so from the cold, Mitsu stood banging on the door. Just when she was about to give up and curl up on the steps the door opened and there stood Shin. Bare chested and looking fairly sleepy. As though someone had knocked on his door at some ungodly hour of the night while he was definitely in bed asleep. Her hand was still in the air, mid knocking motion when he spoke her name. The sound of her name, her actual name, coming from Shin gave her pause. She stood stunned for a moment. Until that moment he had always called her ‘Tatsudashi-san’, which wasn’t improper but it was very formal. She hadn’t been expecting the familiarity and for a second she forgot her worries and fears, even why she was standing on his doorstep in the first place.

As he asked her to come in and moved his arm towards her that moment of peace and slight confusion vanished. She knew this was Shin, her friend, and that he had promised to not let any harm come to her. But she knew what that arm was going to do, it was going to touch her. And the last time that an arm had touched her it had hurt. Still, she allowed him to place his arm around her and guide her into his home. The house was mercifully dark, which both allowed her to see without pain and hid the tears that now slid down her face. The comforting touch had broken the dam of resilience that was her last defence against her emotions overwhelming her, and now she stood in the darkened living room, her shoulders heaving as she struggled to cry quietly.

She didn’t want to cause a problem, that’s all she ever seemed to do lately. Showing up to Shin’s home unannounced in the middle of the night was bad enough, but to also be an unconsolable emotional burden was beyond disrespectful. She knew she should be considerate, she should answer Shin’s question and politely sit on the sofa. But that was what her rational mind knew, and currently she was anything but rational. At that moment, and in truth for many months, she was fragile. She was in pain and she was frightened. The memories from the last year were overwhelming and too painful to think about for too long without crying. So cry she did, and at the mention of getting something for her, her quiet crying turned to pain wracked sobs as she turned swiftly and buried her face against Shin’s chest. If he didn’t pull away from her, her arms would rise to clutch weakly at his sides. Her embrace was one that conveyed her agony and desperation while she tried to speak through her tears, her voice muffled against him. “I-I. . . l-like te. . . t-tea.”

Whether it had been due to the drowsiness of his current state that had not made him hyperaware, or if it had simply been due to Shin forgoing the action to help Mitsukira tonight. Her notable flinch was something his mind did not register. Shin was not trying to ignore her visible tells, but could at least assume she knew he would not bring any harm to her. Whether it was the right course of action or not, Shin could only surmise it as the proper course of action he needed to take. Once Mitsukira would be safely inside and away from the cold night air, then he would focus on her mental state; he did not want her to freeze herself outside, least of all in a place where he could easily aid her. Once they were safely inside the refuge of his home, the front door once more safely shut behind them, Shin’s mind reeled through numerous scenarios as to why Mitsukira was here in the middle of the night. There were far too many far-reaching conclusions his mind could reach. While he knew something had been bothering Mitsukira before she had left for Konohagakure, as was evident by the day she helped him clean his home, something more concerning must have happened during her stay at the Village Hidden in the Leaves. Something had overcome Mitsukira recently, Shin assumed; for while she had been struggling with something prior to leaving the village, it had never resulted in her coming to his home in the middle of the night.

Whether it was something he had said - he didn’t recall if he said something other than if she wanted something to drink - Shin had not been expecting the light sniffling of Mitsukira to turn into a full-on cry. While that was something Shin did not suspect, something that completely threw him off, and almost threw him off balance, had been Mitsukira burying her face against his chest. He could feel the telltale of tears landing upon his bare skin as her arms would clutch at his side. He would gently, though firmly - as if to remind her of his presence, wrap his arms around her. Shin would not say anything, though his hand upon her back would make gentle motions of going up and down.

When Mitsukira indicated she would like tea, Shin would slowly nod, the tip of his chin would brush the top of her head should Mitsukira remain in the same spot. “Alright.” The words would gently reverberate out of his chest, his arms around Mitsukira would slowly unwind, though his hands would remain in the vicinity to remind her of his presence, hoping it would at least bring a bit of comfort to his distraught friend. “Let’s go sit down.” Taking a slow step back, Shin would begin guiding her towards the couch. Should Mitsukira follow his guidance, Shin would help her sit down, though he himself would crouch down beside her, intent on getting her tea. “I’ll go and brew the tea. If you need me, just call. I’ll be turning on the kitchen light.” He’d hope Mitsukira would be fine for a few moments alone, while he went to the kitchen to boil the water and eventually fetch a shirt. The warning of the kitchen light had been for Mitsukira’s benefit, as she had mentioned to him her sensitivity to light. Shin would still wait for any signs of distress, for he would not go if she wished for him to stay.

Should Shin figure he could go, he would first head into the kitchen to set the water to boil before eve, before quickly checking in on Mitsukira. He would make a quick journey back to his room, throwing on the wrinkled shirt he had discarded earlier in the day that was required to be washed. As quickly he could, he would head back down and once more check in on Mitsukira, staying a moment longer before ultimately heading to the kitchen to grab the tea. He would eventually return to the living room with a single cup of tea in one hand, which he would eventually pass to Mitsukira, and the teapot.

“Is there anything else I can get you?”

Mitsu sobbed into Shin’s chest, her crying becoming quieter as she felt the comforting weight of his hand rubbing her back. After a while he would speak and she could feel the vibrations of his voice against her cheek as it rested on his chest. She almost giggled at the feeling, not that her mood had suddenly lifted, but the sensation was amusing and surprising. If anything it would have been nervous laughter. When he suggested they go sit down she would nod her head, reluctantly allowing him to step back away from her and she would sit down gingerly on the cushions. Tears still fell from her eyes as she looked at him, though she was silent again and she watched him go mournfully immediately regretting her decision to follow his movements with her eyes as he turned on the light.

He had warned her, but her misery-addled brain had not arrived at the ‘you should definitely cover your eyes’ conclusion fast enough, and she had to squeeze her eyes shut quickly as the world exploded into light. After a few seconds of intensely bright darkness behind closed eyes, she would peek to see what he was doing and noticing he was moving past her from the kitchen she would pull herself up and follow after him. She couldn’t have explained why, but being away from him at that moment was too stressful and left her feeling insecure. So she followed him into his bedroom, her eyes still mostly shut as she tried to navigate essentially blind to avoid the brightness of the kitchen light.

It was entirely likely that if he didn’t notice her, she would walk headlong into the man. Her eyesight was poor on a good day, but with the flares of light still taking up her vision and her eyelids mostly closed, it was a recipe for hilarious slapstick. Assuming that she didn’t bump into him in a way that totally interrupted the shirt-putting-back-on moment, she would glance down at Shin’s bed and grab a corner of the blanket, pulling it along with her as she followed him around with her eyes still half closed. She would drape the blanket over her shoulders and make her way back to the couch, unable to stand the brightness of the kitchen as she approached it. While Shin made tea, Mitsu made a nest. She took cushions from the couch and piled them around her, placing the blanket over top and making a small tent to hide in. When Shin eventually brought her a cup of tea, she was fully hidden under her new blanket fort with only her pale and tear stained face visible beneath her creation. And as he asked her once more if there was anything he could get for her, her tears started anew and she had to carefully cradle the teacup to avoid spilling it as fresh sobs shook her frame. The answer was ‘no’, but she couldn’t speak it. The kindness and consideration that Shin was showing was so foreign to her now that hearing his concern brought forth all the repressed pain of not having that for so long.

As Mitsukira would follow him to his room, Shin would keep an eye on her, or at least as much as he could while navigating in the dark; the only source of light coming from the kitchen. As she was following him, Shin would angle himself such that Mitsukira would not walk straight into him, and he’d utter the quiet words of, “This way.” As he would say the words, he’d make it so that Mitsukira fell a step in front of him. He knew that there wasn’t anything dangerous on the floor that she could step on, so Shin was fine with Mitsukira being ahead of him. He would gingerly wrap his close arm around her shoulder to help guide her. While she had been in the house before, he did not think she remembered the exact layout of his home. As he watched Mitsukira out of the corner of his eye grab something long off his bed, assuming it was his blanket, Shin would still grab his shirt and put it back on. Once more, if Mitsukira would allow, he would assist her in making the trek back to the living room and ultimately the couch before attending to the tea once more.

His return with the tea had treated him to the sight of Mitsukira bundled up in his blanket on the couch, cushions stolen and made a tent on his couch. The sight could be described as adorable if Shin were not aware of her distraught mood and the tears that had escaped her eyes before. Unsure of if it were something he said, but another bout of tears escaped her, her entire frame shaking.

Shin did not know the best course of action to take, nor did he know how to comfort someone in this situation. The only thing he could attribute to the current situation was how he felt a decade ago, being alone in a land foreign to him as a child. All he wanted was his parents' comfort, yet that had been absent. While Shin himself was still somewhat of a stranger to Mitsukira, or so he thought, if she sought him out then perhaps he could at least try. Gently, he would try to extract the teacup from Mitsukira and place it upon the table set before the couch. Should he succeed in that, he would once more attempt to give Mitsukira a hug, this time taking in the bundled-up Mitsukira in his blankets and not extracting her from the tent she had created.

Mitsu allowed herself to be guided by Shin through his house, she had been there before but she didn’t exactly remember the layout and bumping into things was not on her list of things she wanted to do that night. She didn’t know what she wanted to do, but potentially getting more injured was definitely a no go. She would hug the blanket she had grabbed while leaning into Shin all the way back to the couch.

The tent that she made reminded her of being in the desert, making a lean-to to survive another dust storm. Simpler times with problems that were few and easier to solve. Basic outdoor survival was something that she was surprisingly good at, not that she knew, but most people hadn’t spent most of their lives wandering the desert. So while she didn’t know what she wanted to do, didn’t even exactly know what was wrong, she allowed her instincts to take over. Making a shelter out of whatever happened to be lying around was something she could quite literally do with her eyes closed, and it was a practice that was intrinsically linked with feeling unsafe. When she felt threatened or in danger was the only time she had ever made a shelter while growing up, otherwise a blanket on a sand dune under the stars was more than good enough.

When Shin had handed her the cup of tea she had pulled it into the makeshift tent with her, being careful not to spill any of it on either the couch or the cushions and stolen blanket. The tiny warm space she had created made her feel safer and the gentle heat from the tea only added to that. But when Shin’s question which was something meant to make her feel better brought fresh tears to her eyes, even the little tent she had crafted felt inadequate. As he reached to take the teacup from her she would pass it over to him, relieved to not have the responsibility of taking care of hot tea while she could barely control her own movements because of her shaking and crying. As he attempted to hug her again she would move forward on the couch towards him and curl up in his arms as she welcomed the embrace.

She knew in the back of her mind that so far she had been relatively unhelpful in terms of communicating what was wrong. And while she personally had no issue with sitting quietly with not knowing, she also knew that others may not feel the same way. Having attempted to pull herself, blanket and all, into Shin’s arms and nestle herself into the Mitsu sized space created by his crouching form she would finally attempt to speak more than three words. “I’m sorry to barge in like this, I didn’t know where to go. I’ve messed up again. . . again. I mess everything up somehow, I did with Argent and then with Chen and Yui and now with Nyguyen too. I know the Universe has a place for me in the Grand Design. . . but why does it have to hurt so much until I get there?” Her words were soaked in grief and pain and even though her voice had it’s usual melodic lilt, it cracked slightly as she spoke.

The sobs were something he supposed he could handle, yet this was a scenario he had no idea how to handle. Providing words of comfort was something he clearly lacked the ability to do, the most he was able to provide to Mitsukira tonight had been just his presence alone. Shin did not know what to do, except try and act on instinct alone; what he would have wanted as a kid alone in the world. Perhaps Shin was out of his element, but that was no excuse for not being there for a friend who sought him out; especially one that was distraught enough to come to his home in the middle of the night. Shin certainly did not expect Mitsukira’s reaction to his hug, with her curling up against him, half on his lap and half off.

He would readjust his arm to have one wrapped around her back to help prop her up. Shin’s hand would reach up to rub gentle circles on her upper back as Mitsukira began to speak. He would consume what Mitsukira was sharing with him, figuring this was relating to the first time she had spent time at his home. Rather than assuaging her mention of barging in on his home, Shin’s mind would focus on the details he had picked up. Four names were provided to him, two of which he was more familiar with than the remaining two. Yui, the current tsuchikage and Chen, an individual Shin ran a mission with, were names he instantly recognized. The name Nyg was not familiar to him, though he was able to draw a connection between the name and that of the kage of Konohagakure no Sato, as that was the place that Mitsukira happened to be returning from. The fourth name was not familiar at all to Shin. Yet, Shin still remained at a loss for what exactly she did to ‘mess everything up’. He doubted it could be entirely her fault, yet he did not know any of the particulars behind the situations she was alluding to.

If his words were going to be helpful or not remained to be seen, though Shin highly doubted he could do anything to make her feel better about any of the situations she vaguely described. “Some of us experience more pain than others… it’s what we make of our situations that helps us find our place.” He made no promise that he could make the ‘hurt’ go away, but the least he could do was help her cope with it… or so he figured he could help her out.

Mitsu curled herself up in Shin’s lap as best she could, the way he was crouched didn’t quite allow her to fully sit on his lap and her lower legs and her entire right leg still lay on the couch. While she spoke she could feel the gentle circles from Shin’s hand on her upper back and the longer she felt the sensation, the calmer she became. Eventually it was only the occasional sniffle that was heard beyond her words and she would lean her head heavily into his shoulder, enjoying the vibrations of his voice through his chest as he spoke to her.

He had a point, but that was never in question. Shin was always reasonable and calm from what she’d seen and for him to speak of how a person chooses to deal with their painful experiences gave her a moment of clarity. “I guess you’re right, I’m just feeling sorry for myself right now. I try so hard to see the good parts of everything, of everyone. Sometimes it’s just a struggle and I don’t feel like I’m strong enough.” Her statement was genuine, she was definitely a ‘glass half full’ type of person. The eternal optimist; full of hope and love and patience. It was easy to be filled with those things though when you’d never been taught the opposite. And that was where her struggle lay. She had never been prepared to handle negative feelings and situations, not in a way that didn’t include a talking stick.

After he had spoken to Mitsukiran and knowing the awkwardness of their position, Shin figured it was best for them to withdraw from their current predicament and into a more comfortable scenario; either on the couch to the floor. Figuring it was just easier to get on the floor, Shin would gently tug Mitsukira as she curled up on his lap and attempt to bring her along with him as he took a seat on the ground. He tried not to think of how unbecoming the sight would seem if one had no context of the situation. Shin listened to Mitsukira explain some of what was likely going on in her mind, though he was just as lost as he had been from the moment he opened his front door.

Taking in a deep breath, Shin would rest his back against the uncomfortable coffee table, and think before he spoke. While he did want to know what happened to Mitsukira - curiosity was a vicious animal - Shin was still hesitant to pry too much into the subject that had Mitsukira worse for wear. “Hmm...” There was a silent pause before Shin was fully able to gather his thoughts into words that he could approach Mitsukira with. “I can’t say I understand completely... ” As he did not have a clear picture of what was going on with Mitsukira, “but there’s always some things that are always going to be out of your control.” That was a sentiment Shin could easily relate to given the circumstances of his family and his own history. “Perhaps… talking about what is troubling you could ease some of your worries… and I could see if I could potentially help you at all.”

Mitsu allowed herself to be tugged off the couch by Shin and she curled up more comfortably in his lap. She leaned her head against his chest, curling her fingers gently into his shirt as she tried to remain calm. She had closed her eyes and was now just listening to the steady ‘thump’ of his heart in his chest and the very slight rustling of his clothing as he breathed and moved. So when Shin paused and then spoke again, she jumped slightly after having allowed the soft noises to soothe her. His voice rumbled through his chest and after a moment she would release her grip on his clothing, as soon as the frantic beating of her own heart slowed to regain time with his.

Shin was always offering to help her, and yet somehow he disagreed with the notion that he was a kind person. In truth she needed help, she had been trying for so long to do everything on her own and clearly that was not working. So with a gentle sigh she would reopen her eyes and tilt her head up to look into his amber eyes. “I don’t mean to complain. But I do need help, not physical help exactly. More just that I don’t know what to do. I said I messed everything up and I meant it. I failed to negotiate with the Kaifeng family and not only that I threatened him, Argent I mean. I didn’t mean to threaten him, but I still did and I shouldn’t have. He was angry, understandably and so he sided with Konoha during the war. That left us seriously undermanned and unsurprisingly we lost the war, as I’m sure you know. Because of me. All those people that died. . .” She would shudder as she remembered that day with Chen, trying to evacuate the city, and all the injured that she knew she was to blame for.

After a few seconds she would continue, her voice quieter and filled with shame as she found she couldn’t make eye contact. “After the war I wanted to try to keep Iwa together, to rebuild it and take care of her people. I tried to assume leadership. . . but I was interrupted. . . by Chen.” She had to stop as her voice was cut off by fear. This was the first time that she had recounted that fateful day out loud. She had told an unconscious Masaru vague details, but not the whole truth for fear of retaliation against the young man. She would clutch at her stomach as she spoke, the memories of the event causing her scar to throb with pain. “Please don’t be angry with me. I haven’t told anyone this and I. . . I did something shameful. Something bad. I attacked him, and I did it because I was angry. I drew blood. He defended himself, because of course he did, but I attacked first. And it was wrong and I know that and I wish a thousand times every day that I could take it back, that I could undo what I did. But I can’t, the Universe doesn’t allow for it.” Her tears had returned, partially fueled by the stabbing pain in her torso but mostly from shame and guilt. She knew that Shin should throw her out, people like her that thought violence was the answer didn’t deserve to have friends. Least of all kind and compassionate friends like Shin. “I can go. . . I’m so sorry Shin.” Her voice broke on the words and she would reluctantly make to get up and head out into the loneliness of a darkened city where she thought she deserved to be.

When Mitsukira jumped when he initially spoke up in regards to Mitsukira’s predicament, Shin would attempt to soothe her a bit more by continuing his ministrations with the gentle circles he was rubbing on Mitsukira’s back. Shin should have chimed in quietly, as that was less likely to make Mitsukira jump. Though that hadn’t been the case and it seemed that Shin would not be able to escape from that predicament. He would hold Mitsukira’s gaze as she spoke up once more, providing him with more details as to what happened previously to her. The situation with the Kaifeng family and this Argent character. He was sure there was more to that scenario than what Mitsukira had provided him with; he doubted she was the person to threaten someone without reason.

He was unaware of Mitsukira’s attempt to assume leadership of Iwagakure no Sato; even more unaware of Chen’s involvement in the situation. That was only half the names she listed, so he was unaware of how the current Tsuchikage and Hokage were involved in the mental conflict that Mitsukira was currently facing. His gaze only slightly drifted as Mitsukira would clutch her stomach, though he would return his attention to her as she spoke. Asking him to not be angry with her? What reason did he have to do that? Shin knew what Chen was capable of, and it was safe to make the assumption there had to be a lot more at play than Mitsukira attacking him first. Still, Shin did not speak up at the moment, especially as Mitsukira attempted to escape.

A second would pass, Mitsukira would likely only just be getting up from the ground, as Shin would firmly, yet gently, take a hold of Mitsukira’s wrist. “So, you threatened someone because of a failed negotiation? Did the man in question even have any intentions of wanting to accept your offer in the first place? Even then, threats are very much a part of negotiating with someone. That’s just the way of war… everyone will be looking out for their own best interests.” Shin wasn’t sure what exactly played out between the two during the negotiations, but he could only work under the assumptions his mind concocted; someone who was only looking out for his own best interest, thus someone who had no intention of accepting an offer from Iwagakure no Sato.

“And Chen? What was his reason behind attempting to stop you from assuming leadership while your husband is unable to fulfill the role? You don’t seem like the type of person to unless provoked endlessly. I’ve only met with him briefly… and he doesn’t seem to be the most friendly person. So, if he interrupted you, there had to be a reason behind that.” Whether Shin’s words would help Mitsukira, he remained unsure. But he needed to dig into what happened to figure out if Mitsukira was truly at fault or if she kept blaming herself for things that were out of her hands. She may end up hating him after tonight, but that was fine by him, so long as Mitsukira’s guilt faded. If he had to poke and prod to get the answers to figure out where exactly Mitsukira blamed herself, then he’ll do it. After all, he was fine being on his own, a decade of forced experience proved that.

“And Yui and Nyg? What did they say to make you blame yourself?” Cutting straight to the point would be the only way to get anywhere it seemed, though if Mitsukira wanted to flee and escape his grasp, he would see if she actually continued to pull away and weigh her answers. “Because as much as everything can be your own fault, it's just as much their fault as well.”

Mitsukira had been getting up to leave, she was so ashamed of her part in the events she was describing that she couldn’t bear the thought of Shin looking at her with disappointment. And she would have left, were it not for a firm yet gentle grasp of her wrist. As soon as Shin’s hand made contact she would pause and twist her body in his lap to look at him having momentarily been facing away in order to stand. She did not attempt to remove his hand, merely sat there and listened as he questioned her, rather bluntly, about the things she had just described. Or rather didn’t describe well enough.

She knew she was being vague, and she wasn’t trying to lie to him, but she was so emotionally distraught that her retelling of events was bouncing from emotion to emotion rather than following a linear and logical timeline. Instead of pulling away from Shin’s grip, Mitsu would tentatively place her other hand on Shin’s wrist and play with the fabric of his shirt. Unless directed otherwise she would keep her gaze focused on the black sleeve, smoothing out the wrinkles and then re-adding them, too ashamed to meet his gaze. She was trying to see things from his point of view, but part of her believed that he was just trying to absolve his friend of guilt rather than assessing her actions properly. It was kind and well meaning, but she still felt guilty. She knew what she’d done.

Still focused on his shirt she would do her best to answer his questions. “I. . . no. The Kaifeng’s are- were a notorious crime family in Iwagakure. And the message I was sent with from Masaru was most definitely a threat. ‘Join us or die’, basically. I didn’t want to say that, so I tried an alternative first. . . but it didn’t work. I don’t know what he wanted, Argent I mean. Maybe money or land or something like that. I offered him a clean slate, him and his whole family. I would erase their past crimes and make them free citizens in exchange for their assistance in the war. But that wasn’t good enough. I was so scared that if I failed to convince him. . . I gave him Masaru’s message. And it did not go over well. The thing is though, I knew before I said it that it was wrong. To threaten someone if they-” Her voice cut off momentarily as for a brief instant she started to consider if she had been wrong at all, either with Argent or Chen. ‘No. You have your morals and ethics and you strayed from them. That is wrong.’

Shaking her head as she stared at a stray thread she would continue. “Unsurprisingly, he said no. Angrily. He also told me. . . If he comes back here, Masaru and he will fight. And Shin, I don’t think either of them will walk away. . . not that Masaru can even. . .” She didn’t finish her thought, Argent and Masaru had both promised bloody vengeance on the other, with her trapped in the middle. Only now, the fight would be very one sided, with Masaru in a coma.

When Shin mentioned Chen again Mitsu would flinch subtly, her fingers tightening briefly against his sleeve and her breath quieting as she held it to ease the pain from her injury. Which didn’t help at all, but somehow made her feel as though she had some measure of control over the pain. “Chen doesn’t. . . like me. I know that sounds silly, but it’s been evident in all of our interactions. I couldn’t tell you exactly why, but it seems no matter what I try I’m met with hatred and disapproval from him. I wish it wasn’t like that, Masaru believed in him, even named him his protege. . . I’m just not. . . personable I suppose. Not with him anyway. So when I attempted to assume leadership he stepped in, he said. . .” She remembered exactly what he said, but she didn’t want to misconstrue what had happened. Tensions were high, they were in the middle of a war and the Tsuchikage had just fallen to the plague. “It doesn’t matter what he said. Suffice to say his reasons, while explained harshly, were justified. Every attempt I’ve made to lead this country, to save it from war or death has been an abject failure. He had no reason to believe that me taking on the role of Tsuchikage would be any different. And I can understand that. But then. . .” She would shudder and squeeze her eyes shut as the scene replayed itself in her mind. Purple eyes and a black rod, a hate filled smirk and. . .

"I'll turn you into a mindless vassal. No more singing. No more dancing. Just total obedience."

Silent tears ran down her face as her breathing quickened again. She wasn’t sad, this was not a resurgence of sorrow - this was terror. Her voice was shaky as she recounted the entire event in detail, following up with yet another apology. “Please don’t be angry with me, or him. It was a difficult time and. . . it shouldn’t have happened but it did. And, I’m just trying to learn from it.” What she meant, although she wasn’t aware, was repress it. She had had nightmares ever since that day, of purple eyes and blood. She had kept to herself as much as she was able, fearing being outdoors or around too many people. Every time someone’s voice was raised, or they moved too quickly she would flinch. The months since that day in the Tsuchikage Complex had worn on her psyche to the point that she was exhausted, but couldn’t place why.

She would give Shin time to either reply to her story or choose not to before moving on to his other questions. Her shoulders sagged, one bruised and one not, as she attempted to lean her forehead against Shin’s chest while she spoke. She had curled up as close to him as he would let her, feeling an instinctual need to be hidden while she poured her aching heart out. “These are dangerous times, Shin. I never thought I would see a war in my lifetime, let alone be part of one. Yui claimed the position of Tsuchikage, which honestly makes sense since she is a very strong shinobi, but she didn’t come alone. . . she has something wrong with her, or maybe inside of her. I’m unsure. All I know is that it was frightening and we needed to solve it. Her husband, Rin Uchiha, was being held in Konoha and Chen and I thought he might be able to help. So I went to retrieve him, which is where I met Nyguyen Uchiha the Hokage. He was a nice man. . . sort of. He had Rin leave the room and. . . I upset him. I know I did, I just keep failing every diplomatic mission I attempt. I should have been more careful, we are indebted to Konoha after all. Insulting him was not the correct choice to take. Regardless, Rin and his mother were released to my custody and I’ve only just arrived back in Iwa from that trip. I came straight here because you said if I needed anything. . . and I do need something. I-I’ve never told anyone all of this before Shin. . . I didn’t- I hoped. . .” Her words failed her as her voice trailed off into miserable silence. Had he allowed her to rest her head on his chest she would remove her hand from his shirt sleeve and nestled herself closer to him with her now free hand looping under his arm to grasp at his shoulder.

He would patiently listen to Mitsukira retell her tale of the events that had transpired over the past year or so; recalling the events that occurred between herself, Argent and Chen. Shin would allow her to fiddle with the sleeve of his black shirt, yet he would ignore the sensation of the cloth leaving his skin momentarily before being pressed back down by her touch. Absorbing the details of what she had mentioned, he already knew what his response would be to her incident with Argent and the Kaifeng’s. Though, he instead would not interrupt her whatsoever as she continued on; as long as she kept speaking, it was better that he let her get everything off her chest instead of allowing her to keep quiet about it.

Shin felt a bit of anger rising when she particularly mentioned what Chen had done; he knew the boy was capable of doing these things and he had a feeling that Chen certainly was far more brutal than he was in his methods. Shin remained outwardly cool, the bits of anger he was feeling would eventually fade… perhaps it was time to refine his use of his clan’s kekkei genkai in the morning. The training facility was a place Shin had not ventured to recently, but if erasing things out of existence was something that would sate him, the training facility was definitely the place he needed to be. Even her adamant nature to forgive did not stir Shin, it was not a matter of who he chose to be angry with; there was nothing he could do about the past. He chose to remain silent on the matter, for now. The future he could definitely change.

Shin was certain Mitsukira was excluding details when she got to her recount of her encounter with the current Tsuchikage and Hokage. At some point during her recollection of the event with Yui, Shin’s right foot would begin tapping against the couch, trying to let his nerves settle. Letting her head settle on his chest.

“So… let me get this straight. You tried to reason with the Argent and that failed, so you delivered a message to him that your husband wanted to tell them in the first place, which failed as well.” It was a statement, not a question. Recounting in just a few words what Mitsukira relayed to him. “So what exactly are you blaming yourself for? Trying to reason with someone who clearly did not want to?” A huff of air would escape Shin… he needed some space before he even chose to comment on the Chen portion of this entire thing, yet he made no move to remove Mitsukira at the moment. Remain calm. It was harder to do than say, but he would try.

“So… Chen… after threatening your life… and probably being moments away from actually striking first… you blame yourself for what again? Trying to live? Trying to get the village stabilized with your husband’s absence? If there’s anything I’m getting out of this… Chen seems to be acting like a petulant child when it comes to you, you still try to make friends with him when it’s clear as day that will never happen. I don’t care if it shouldn’t have happened… it did!” His normally cool voice had raised a bit in his last two words. Remain calm. He took in a deep breath, exhaling slowly before he chose to speak once more. “Trust me, if I was there… the last of his worries would be defending himself against a jutsu. But, this isn’t the time… or the place.” Deciding it was for the best to let the subject of Chen rest, he would finally comment on the portion he had the least amount of details on.

“Strength alone doesn’t make a kage. Just because Yui is strong, it certainly isn’t the only qualifier one should have to be kage. Especially when you say something is wrong with her.” Shin doubted he’d be of use when it came to that matter; nor was it his place a simple genin of the village. “So, we have someone ill-fit as kage and the only way to remedy that is to go to the very nation that has the country in the current predicament it is in. Great.” His ‘great’ was critical of the situation. “I’m not an idiot Mitsukira. One either is a nice person or isn’t… just like if I’m kind or not. You upset him… how? Did you insult him to start or was this another Argent scenario where it’s clear you were dealing with someone unreaso… yet he still let the Rin character go with you.” His unasked question was in the air, clear that something did not add up. The Nyg character was kind, yet somehow Mitsukira insulted him, upset him… and yet the man let Rin go with Mitsukira. None of that made sense. If Mitsukira looked in Shin’s direction, his expression would be that of one requesting an answer.

Mitsu could feel the intake of breath just before Shin spoke through her forehead as it lay against him. The gentle rumbling of his voice through his chest was soothing and made it easier for her to absorb what Shin was trying to tell her. As his rhetorical statement of the events with Argent flowed into some equally rhetorical questions about her reaction to the event she would readjust herself so that she could still feel his comforting warmth but was easily able to look up at him. This involved her scooting forward in his lap so that her hips rested above his, with one leg on either side of him and gripping him gently so she could support herself as she leaned her upper torso back to meet Shin’s eyes with her own. The whole process was graceful and fluid, though easily interrupted if Shin chose, and left her lower half firmly pressed against him while she rested her weight on her arms behind her. A light dusting of pink would grace her cheeks as the feeling of her skin pressed against him energized her, rather than calmed her. Very slowly she would reply to Shin’s questions, the task made slightly more difficult by the physical distraction she had inadvertently created for herself. “I. . . didn’t think of it like that. I suppose. . . yes, I suppose that makes sense. I still feel guilty though, maybe that doesn’t make sense. . . I don’t know.”

Listening to Shin’s recounting of her interactions with Chen was less. . . comfortable. She tried to keep her face still as he went over some of his thoughts, but it was more difficult now that she had positioned herself to look at him directly. Her expression was a mixture of physical pain, fear, confusion and . . . desire. She felt pain in the raised scar on her belly whenever she thought about Chen, or the events of that day in the throne room. And when that happened fear was never far behind. That day had impacted her in a way that affected everything she did, she was no closer now, many months later, to making peace with that fear than she had been when it happened. Her thighs would tighten around Shin’s hips as that pain flared, her position of leaning on her arms making it unwise to reach for her old wound with a hand as she normally did. As his voice rose all of her muscles would tighten again, as though her body associated raised voices with an expectation of pain. And that was where the confusion came from. Despite her discomfort with the discussion, the fear at events past, even the physical pain from her stomach and her shoulder. . . the blush on her cheeks never faded. She enjoyed being this close to the handsome man, and while there were a myriad of reasons why feeling desire for Shin at that very moment was, at the very least, inappropriate. She found that she couldn’t shake it. Perhaps it was her sorrow and distress that had her instinctively seek out physical closeness as a form of comfort. Perhaps she had been alone too long, or perhaps just as she had been repeatedly told she was a miserable failure of a person. No matter the reason, she was not presently strong enough to move away or stop her mind from imagining how much more comfortable it would be to have Shin wrap his strong arms around her. She let the matter of Chen rest, it was clear that something about it had truly upset Shin as he paused to take a deep breath after raising his voice in what appeared to Mitsu as an effort to keep himself calm. She would nod in agreement as he said this wasn’t the time or place to do what she wasn’t sure, but unlike her feelings regarding being pressed against him she was willing to move away from the topic.

Assuming he had not yet removed her from his lap she would gaze up at him with trusting and shining eyes in the dim light of his home. Her tears had ceased but now she struggled to keep her breathing steady as she tried to fight off visions of him wrapping his arms around her, pulling her closer, pressing into his lips. . .

”I’m not an idiot Mitsukira.”

That got her attention. She had done it again, unintentionally, but still. Her stupid mouth had said things she didn’t meant to and now she had insulted someone else because of it. Her eyes widened and she would shake her head ‘no’ as she rushed to apologize for the slight. “I’m so sorry Shin, I didn’t mean to- I didn’t mean to imply that you were stupid. Please don’t be angry with me. I. . .” She would pause as she weighed how she should answer his unasked question. Mitsukira was honest to a fault, and it often landed her in trouble. It had been easy to promise secrecy when she didn’t foresee a future where the issue would even be discussed. Now though. . . Now she was faced with Shin seeing the holes in her story and her wanting to tell him everything. But she had promised. “Shin. . . I can’t. I can’t tell you. I want to, believe me. But I made a promise and I don’t think I should break it. Maybe one day. What I can tell you is that I did insult him, just like I insulted you just now. Just like with Ch- just like before I got indignant and my mouth spoke before my brain realized what it was doing. It was only fair that there was a threa-” Her eyes would shift away from him subtly for a moment as her attention fell to her shoulder, she stopped herself mid-word to avoid causing any further problems. She had seen how upset talking about Chen had made him and didn’t want to upset him again. “He has children, he needs to look out for their futures. I understand and it’s fine. In the end Iwa is better off and that’s what matters.” The last part she did fully believe, she was willing to endure just about anything for the betterment of Iwagakure and the Land of Earth. She would give Shin a moment to comment on her lack of an answer before she would push herself up with her arms to grasp at his shoulders. Should he allow it she would be sitting, back straight, in his lap and pressed against his chest. She still held her head back so she could look at him, her face a breath away from his as she blushed and shyly made a request. “For now though, could you. . . could you hold me?” It was brazen to be sure, and very unlike her usual demeanour to ask for something for herself. She would hold her breath as she waited for an answer, trying to prepare herself for the inevitability of rejection.

He tried to ignore the shift in position that Mitsukira had made, yet he did nothing to deter her from making the movements. Shin knew, under other circumstances, he’d find an escape out of his current position; but due to the circumstances surrounding Mitsukira’s late night visit, he could not find the energy or will to do anything about the current predicament. All he needed was self-control and focusing on the conversation he was having with the wife of one of the incapacitated Tsuchikage’s. There were more pressing concerns regardless, with the information Mitsukira was providing him with. While Iwagakure no Sato was getting closer to its independence; once the farfour accords were settled, there still seemed to be more strife that the country was facing. First was with the absence of the initial Tsuchikage, Masaru and now with the position of Yui assuming the position while clearly not in the right of mind. When Mitsukira’s legs tightened around him, he would ignore it. Shin would release a sigh, specifically when Mitsukira began to apologize. This was far too much for a singular person to handle, so he could only assume that it added on to Mitsukira’s mental state. The political state of Iwagakure no Sato had nothing to do with him - a genin. All he could do was provide his two cents.

“I’m not angry… not with you at least.” Shin would huff out, his eyes searching the darkness that was the room they were sitting in. While his eyes were not as adapted to the dark compared to Mitsukira, this was his home and he knew where things generally were… what he was looking at currently was that of a picture of his parents. “And what’s the reason you made Nyg a promise? If you want to keep a secret from a person who will likely never find out if you tell someone, that’s your choice. I’m more concerned if this will be a possible issue for the village in the future.” It was evident in Shin’s tone that he did not agree with Mitsukira’s reasoning for protecting the conversation she had with the Hokage.

“If that’s what you want...” Was Shin’s response to Mitsukira’s request of a hug; he was not sure if that’s what she would still want after what he had said… He still had more to say and would say it, whether it was during the hug with the white-haired woman or not. “I don’t care about his children… their future matters even less to me. If any of this has any influence on Iwa, then it's best you not keep any of this a secret. You don’t need to share anything with me… I have no reason to be privy to this.” He had no reason to know any of this, but if it was vital, then someone in a position of power should know.

Mitsu leaned against Shin and sighed, content to be held in his arms as he spoke, happy to not have to deal with being rejected. For a few brief moments her troubles faded away and there was only that embrace and the comfort she felt in it. She had heard him reassure her that he wasn’t angry with her. She’d heard him question her reasoning and resolve about the meeting with Nyguyen. She even heard when he spoke about what he thought about Nyguyen’s children. She had taken it all in and for a time said nothing. She wasn’t trying to ignore him or his concerns, merely taking a moment to be quiet and try to become calm again. Once she felt herself begin to relax as the intensity of her fear and grief waned, she would turn her head so that her cheek pressed firmly against him but allowed her to speak clearly. She wouldn’t release him unless he pushed her away, and she wouldn’t look at him unless he wanted her to. Even if he were to push her away she would remain looking away or down, anywhere other than his eyes. She believed that he wasn’t angry with her, but she feared judgement and she felt so guilty she couldn’t bear the thought of seeing judgement in his eyes.

Facing away from his amber eyes, she clutch at him as she confessed, the fear and guilt evident in her voice. “I tried to offer an alliance with Suna. . . and somehow I messed it up horribly. I didn’t mean to. . . what am I saying, of course I didn’t. I never intend to hurt anyone. I just. . . I basically called him a callous warmonger that I hated. Those weren’t the exact words I used, but I think that was the message I sent. A-and then. . . understandably of course, he was angry. It wasn’t anger like what I see from Chen, it was quiet. And somehow scarier for it.”  

"However, one thing you will soon learn about the shinobi world....is that protecting the ones you love sometimes means more than just the corporeal...it involves legacies just as well. It's a complicated affair and not one you'll understand until you occupy my or your husband's position. Should you, Kami-willing, live long enough to bear such a burden"

Mitsu would repeat what Nyguyen had said to her, and then direct Shin’s hand to her shoulder, all still without looking at him. “And then he hurt me. Maybe he didn’t mean to and I won’t die from it, it will fade with time as all things do. But I need you to understand why I did what I did. You probably already think I’m a coward, but if you didn’t this ought to convince you. I was terrified, Shin. Only one person even knew I was gone, and I know he wouldn’t care if he never heard from me again. I was alone in an enemy village, and I’d done something bad enough to their leader that might have just been a good enough excuse t-to. . . to execute me. I didn’t want to die, I wanted to come back here. . . to. . .” Mitsu had long thought that she had to do everything herself. Every problem, emergency. . . everything. And it was too much. Not just for her, but for anyone. She had been left alone for years at this point to sink or swim on her own. But she didn’t have the awareness to realize that her perceived failures were actually understandable. Or that she didn’t have to do everything alone. “He lowered our debt by a million, Shin. A million. We needed that, we were bleeding out financially, some of us even stopped taking pay just to help. I. . . I have no one to talk to Shin, no one to help me. I’m so sorry to burden you with all of this, I really am. And I wish I could take it back, I wish you didn’t know, I wish none of it had happened. And I know I don’t need to share any of this with you, except I do. Shin, I need help. I need your help.” The calm she had mustered earlier was swept away in the face of cascading guilt. Every word she spoke made it seem that much worse for her, her emotions were running rampant and her tears had returned, soaking into the fabric of Shin’s shirt should he have allowed her to stay where she was.

Remianing silent was something Shin was often prone to doing, and he did so once more as Mitsukira spoke. He listened to her speak of trying to form an alliance with Sunagakure no Sato. He listened to her not wanting to hurt anyone, but calling Nyg a warmonger was the truth. Shin would happily rid the world of that problem. As his hold minisculely tightened around Mitsukira, he knew his reason wouldn’t solely be for Iwagakure no Sato’s redemption. The question of if that time ever came remained to be seen. If the opportunity presented itself, where he could walk up to Konoha and do to them what they did to Iwa, there wouldn’t even need to be a decision made. They dug their own grave.

His patience was wearing thin. He had every desire to leave Mitsukira here. Leave his home once more and make his way to Konoha. The accords were still a thing and yet the Hokage had continued his assault on Iwagakure. While it was not the nation itself, but a representative of it, Shin’s ability to not see red when it came to that man was non-existent.

“You can always talk to me. I won’t have the answers… probably not even the words to help you. But I’ll always be here for you if you need it.” Shin knew that if he spoke honestly, at this moment, it would likely bring forth an argument as to what Shin had in mind. “And… if it ever comes down to it… I’ll make sure that you won’t have to deal with the Hokage. I’ll do it.” His way of dealing with the Hokage would vastly differ from Mitsukira’s. His way was not the way of conversation or giving demands. His way was not letting the Hokage get what he wanted. Shin’s way was an end to all their troubles. “I’ll help you anyway I can. It’s the least I can do for you.” He owed Mitsukira a debt; he would not be here if it were not for her. It was likely Shin would have found himself on the other side of the world, having no place in the world. Yet, he was beginning to see what purpose he could serve to Iwagakure no Sato.

Mitsukira was upset again, although it could be argued she had not really ever stopped being upset. Telling Shin all of these things was incredibly difficult for her, and she was struggling with the morality behind keeping various groups of people safe and also keeping secrets. She wanted to keep Iwagakure safe, to ensure that it and her people had a future. A future that didn’t involve being under the thumb of anyone else. It was a problem she didn’t know how to solve, at least a problem she didn’t know how to solve and keep everyone from being hurt. As Shin’s grip tightened slightly around her small frame she would crumple against him once more, her cries no longer silent. There was something about that embrace that broke her resolve. She had been trying to keep her composure, to not just melt into a puddle of useless grief as she spoke, and she had been terribly afraid of him judging her or rejecting her. But the minute amount of increased pressure told her that not only was she safe, she was welcome

Her own grip would tighten around him as Shin told her she could always talk to him. She had been alone for so long that it was overwhelming to suddenly realize that she wasn’t. Even his offer to deal with the Hokage instead of her was a relief, and all she could do was nod in sob filled agreement to his suggestion. No one offered to help her, not ever. That was not exactly accurate, because some people had certainly offered her assistance before, but at that moment it felt true. She sat there for a while clinging to what she felt was her only friend and eventually her sobs became quiet sighs as she collected herself once more. When she finally spoke she would raise her head so that she could see Shin’s eyes, her voice still shaky but with a hint more confidence than before. “Thank you, Shin. It probably seems like a small thing to you but. . . I’ve been alone for so long. So long. And at every turn everything I try to do ends up turning out poorly. I mess it up somehow, I insult someone or just say the wrong thing. And then inevitably some threat on my life happens. I don’t know how I managed to not get the same reaction from you, but I appreciate it more than I can explain. And I don’t know how I can repay you for your kindness. You’ve been nothing but kind and patient and understanding with me. . . I will try to be worthy of it. . .”

She sighed deeply and closed her eyes for a moment then searched to meet his gaze again. “You know, I used to be happy. Truly happy. All the time. I didn’t realize until now, but I didn’t start crying until I came here, to Iwagakure. Before that, life was. . . peaceful. I just had my family; my parents and my two cousins, Jethro and Stephan. We would dance and sing and laugh, and it was beautiful. And then I came here and while this place is wonderful and I consider it my home now, I can’t help but feel like I don’t quite fit. Like I’m not hard enough for this life, people keep telling me I’m too soft or naive. And maybe they’re right, but I can’t just quit. I’ve made promises, I was prepared to swear an oath to defend this village with my life, well. . . I did make that oath. And even though the position was filled by someone else, I still hold myself to it. But the thing is that I don’t know what else I can do. This is going to sound stupid, but am I supposed to be in danger? Is that my purpose? If I knew that it was then I could probably stop having nightmares, or stop being afraid to have people touch me or even move too quickly. I could finally just relax and accept my lot in the Grand Design.” With another heavy sigh she would move her hands to grip lightly at the front of Shin’s shirt as she seemed to plead with him. “I just don’t know what to do. Shin. . . what do I do?”

While Shin was tempted to reiterate that he did not need to be thanked for what he was currently doing, given Mitsukira’s nature, it was an argument that was best left alone. The most he had to offer were meaningless words; words that he did not know if he could live up to. He knew he would always be a ear available to listen to her, yet anything beyond that would be empty promises with the hope that he could fulfill.  He would listen more to Mitsukira while she held his gaze; if asked later, Shin would be unable to recall how long they had spent like this.

“Finding your place… anywhere… can be difficult. I did not fit when I was in Kumogakure no Sato. Upon returning here, I still did not feel like I belonged anywhere. IT just took me some time. For you, perhaps it may be longer than me, but this had been my home for a decade before I left.” Shin closed his eyes as he gathered his thoughts further, not wanting to make a mess of a delicate scenario. He felt like he had to tread carefully, but Mitsukira did not seem upset with him thus far, so he likely was doing a decent job of comforting her. Even if he felt like he was failing miserably. “Perhaps, one day, you’ll be able to reunite with your family.” Mitsukira deserved the opportunity to reunite with her family, if she so wished. She has the prospect available to her, while he simply did not. After a brief pause, Shin would continue, “Sometimes, you just have to do what you feel is right, even if everyone else thinks you’re wrong. Sometimes, you just have to do nothing… It’s not something that you or I can figure out by just sitting here.” His eyes would open and hold her gaze. “The world out there… its volatile. We just need to do our best to survive and thrive.”

Mitsu curled herself around Shin as he spoke, enjoying the rumble of his voice through his chest as she leaned her head against him. The words he spoke were true, she knew they were, but she was still having difficulty applying them to herself. It was easy for her to understand how Shin felt and why it made sense and was valid. But for herself she was plagued with doubt and a lack of confidence and self esteem. It would take time, but perhaps one day she would get there. One day she would hopefully be in a place where she believed in herself again.

She hugged him and felt herself calm down, just his presence alone was calming, but his manner was moreso. Her replies were murmured into his shirt as the weight of her emotional release tired her. “Thank you Shin, for understanding. One day I would love to bring you to meet my family. I think you’d like them.”

As he spoke of doing what felt right, she would lift her head up to meet his gaze once more and nod sleepily. “It will be okay, Universe willing. Thank you for listening to me, and for not turning me away when I needed you. The world is a volatile place, but it has a Grand Design. I just have to remember that.” Leaning her head back against Shin’s chest she would snuggle closer and eventually her breathing would slow as sleep took her.

[Exit Thread]

Like the multiple thoughts that ran in his mind before; Shin felt he was not a help whatsoever to Mitsukira. He had no idea how exactly he had helped her out tonight, but he was able to at least provide a differing perspective of things from how he viewed the world. There was definitely a difference between himself and Mitsukira. Whether it was the influence of the ‘Universe’ or teachings she grew up with, Shin knew he would’ve handled the situations Mitsukira in a vastly different way. Most of those, he could not do much about. Chen was someone he could handle if it came to it, yet for now Shin would let the matter rest. Perhaps Mitsukira would, eventually, realizes certain attempts would be futile.

Once Mitsukira fell asleep with her head resting against his chest, Shin waited in silence for when her breathing evened out and he knew she was most definitely asleep. Slowly, he would make sure not to disturb Mitsukira, though he would lift her as he got back to his feet. Shin had an extra spare room where he could place her; the guest bedroom. Quietly, ensuring he did not bump into anything, Shin would make his way to the guest bedroom where he would let Mitsukira rest for the night.

Knowing he’d have some issues returning to sleep, Shin would make his way back to the living room and kitchen to clean up the slight mess that had been created since Mitsukira’s arrival.

[exit thread]