Hope For The Future

Evening was coming on swiftly now as Tamwyn landed them upon the balcony outside their shared bedroom at his manor. He'd moved up quite a lot in the world since he began, moving from the slums, the nicer part of them granted, but still the slums, to the Tomiko Heights themselves. The manors had large amounts of land around them as they were located in the more rural areas of Kumogakure and Tamwyn's in particular had quite a lot of trees and other foliage around it. Most avoided having their homes in such places because it meant more upkeep to pay but when Tamwyn had bought the manor he had just met Yenn. Who was moving in with him. He knew from their first meeting upon that stormy night as they sheltered and rested that she loved the outdoors, and so he had left the land as it was. Minus of course was necessary to allow easy access to the manor itself.

The grounds were full of gardens, ponds, and even had a hedge maze to get lost in if one wanted. A full serving staff was on grounds and even had their own nice quarters in the manor itself. However they skipped the door to the manor itself and landed upon the balcony of the master suite. This was a normal occurrence but today the flight to take them home had been unnaturally silent. Landing gently and dispersing the lightning jutsu he used to fly them here he held her for a moment, arms wrapped around her waist before letting go and moving inside of the room. It was an exquisite bedroom with a king sized four poster bed that only seemed to take up a fraction of the room. The four posts of the bed were wreathed in climbing clematis, surrounding them in purple flowers that were cared for by gardeners who came in during the day while they were out doing their shinobi duties. A Master Servant had the final say in if they could come in or not and the man had a preternatural sense of when they weren't in the room.

Behind the bed, along the walls, were vines of Wisteria, and the same type of flower hung down at the foot of the bed too thickly enough that it guarded them from direct sunlight while they were asleep. The eastward facing room was directly in the suns path as it rose and the entire wall on that side was one giant window. They were however on the third floor of the manor and as such would never have to worry about some voyeur seeing inside. The wisteria vines hanging down at the foot of the bed could also be pulled aside, to allow those along the wall at the back to obtain sunlight too. The carpet of the room was dyed a deep black. The north and south sides of the room had a trench along them at the base of the wall. With the exception of a gap for the door to the bathroom. The trench extended a good six feet from the wall and was filled with fresh soil and in that soil, in neat rows were Juniper trees, carefully tended to in order to keep them from growing too high. The scent of the trees permeated the room, as it was specifically designed for. The west side of the room had two black dressers and two black nightstands, one on each side of the bed. It also had an enormous walk in closet that kept their various clothing and doubled as a shared armory.

The lighting in the room was done naturally during the day, the same trench mentioned earlier was matched with glass panes along the ceiling directly over the trench and ensuring the trees got maximum sunlight during the day. In the middle of the room was another pane of glass that was three meters wide and long and acted as a sun roof. During the night the moon would usually provide enough illumination for them but on the night of the a new moon where they actually had no light from the sky they had a simple lighting system installed that worked with a simply flick of a switch by the door. Although in Tamwyn's experience, it was rarely used.

The bathroom itself was enormous and elegantly designed. The tile was black of of course, as was the storage drawers and shelves. In the middle of the room stood a large glassed off shower area with a indention into the floor with a short set of stairs leading into it. A bench stretched along the inside of the shower area and the shower head was fully adjustable so one could sit or stand if one desired. On the left side of the bathroom, under a set of three windows was a large bathtub. Over that tub on the ceiling was a set of lights that when turned on with a separate light switch by the tub, produced a purple light over it. The regular light switch was of course by the door and produced subdued illumination so as not to be too harsh. The right side of the room was dedicated to two sinks and cabinets. Unlit candles sat in various holders around the room, should one wish even more subdued lighting.

Tamwyn loved this room, and even more so loved the woman he had the absolute joy of sharing it with. Moving into the room through a glass door on the large balcony, he would hold the door for Yenn, allowing her to enter if she wished before letting it close. The entire trip home from the hospital had been done in silence. In Tamwyn's case, he was still mildly in shock. He had already had an idea of what they would discover before taking her there after they left the palace. His sensory ability giving him the information, but him being unable to trust the sense without a secondary confirmation. Which they had gotten at the hospital.

Yenn was pregnant.

His sensory had told him it was so, with twins too. The doctor had confirmed that too, and vouched that the ability to sense developing chakra signatures was a perfectly valid and trusted method of getting such information. After they had left, Tamwyn had been silent the entire time home, Yenn too. Now, provided she had come in, they would be in their room, quiet as the grave. The newly promoted Jounin would kick off his boots and remove his dust covered coat. Neat the door to the room was a table set aside with a basket set aside for such things and he deposited it and his dirty uniform pants into it. Clad in only his boxers he would step into the bathroom and wash his face, letting the cool water help bring him to his senses. Then he would return to her, wherever she might be in the room and move to place a hand on her cheek. His yellow eyes would meet her violet ones if able before he spoke. "Yenn...I know why I've been quiet..I'm surprised, in shock, and I couldn't find the words. Why are you quiet though? I have the feeling that it isn't for the same reasons I was.." He would say, and ask quietly, concern in his voice.

Yenn had been quiet ever since the hospital. She’d been quiet for most of the visit at the hospital in fact. Ever since the doctor had come in and told her she was pregnant. She had been asked various questions by the doctor, given instructions and the like. And every time she’d been asked if she understood she had reflexively nodded. The truth was though that she was not understanding. She was terrified. Somewhere in her heart she was happy, but that happiness was buried by the fears and doubts that had taken root. The sky rumbled and flashed as another storm rolled in overhead as they flew home, unknowingly fueled by her emotions.

She was happy to be going home, but tense as she considered what the next few hours or years would hold. The only thing she knew of why she had been so mistreated during her life was because of her father’s loathing of her existence. That hatred had been taken out on both her and her mother, and then eventually her mother had joined in as her resentment manifested to violence. But it had all started with her mother having a child. And now she was going to have two of them. And while she never thought for a moment that Tamwyn would ever hurt her, the fear that had been trained into her remained all the same. On top of that she couldn’t shake the feeling that somehow she would turn out just like Quan and Tien, bitter and hateful and violent. She couldn’t see it in herself now, but she was still afraid that she was at her core, just as they were.

As they landed on their balcony she would look at the floor as she walked in while Tamwyn held the door open. Her arms were crossed in front of her in a subconscious effort to make herself appear as small as possible. As soon as Tamwyn moved to the bathroom she would hurriedly remove her clothing, tossing them carelessly aside and pulling on a floor length black silk nightgown and lace robe. Internally she was fighting a battle, she wanted to stay and trust in Tamwyn’s promises to her. But instinctively she could feel her muscles twitching with a need to go as the forest called to her. With a small whimper she would curl up on the floor next to the row of junipers, closing her eyes and breathing in the scent as she tried to calm herself. There were three voices in her head and only one of them was on her side.

With a start she would open her eyes as she felt Tamwyn’s hand resting on her cheek. She listened quietly as he spoke, her arms wrapped around her sides as she struggled to contain her emotions. As he asked her why she was quiet the tenuous control she’d had fell away and sorrowful tears fell from her violet eyes. “Because I’m terrified, Tamwyn. I’m terrified that you’re angry with me, that you’ll hate me, or that you already do. I’m terrified that I’ll end up just like them” Her voice cracked at her last word and she would clutch at her sides tighter as her eyes closed once more and sobs wracked her body. Thinking those things had been hard enough, but saying them out loud and making them real had been devastating. Her heart ached with the pain of it and the new storm released its fury as the rain poured for the second time that day in tandem with her mournful tears.

As she spoke he would feel his heart break, he hadn't ever meant for her to think he was angry at her. He was just in a mild state of shock at the news. When she spoke of being afraid that she would end up just like 'them' with such virulence he would feel himself grow cold. She was speaking of her parents, the man and woman who dared referred to themselves as such anyway. They had heavily abused her as a child and now she was afraid she would be like them. However he knew that wouldn't be the case. Knew that she would sooner end herself before purposefully doing harm to a child that was born of her. Still, he had to make her see that, and had to reinforce his love for her, or at least reaffirm it. Without a word he would make to lift her up, the effort negligible given her strength and her size and weight. If that was done he would move to lay her onto their bed, before climbing in with her and holding her close to him, the space beneath those flowery vines was shaded from the light even if the cloud cover that had rolled in with her tumultuous emotions hadn't blocked the sun already. He would make to turn her toward him, intending to look into her violet eyes as he spoke, so she could see the truth in his eyes.

Should that be successful he would wrap an arm around her waist while the other cupped her cheek before he spoke. "Yenn, how could I be mad? How could I ever hate you? I love you, and it feels like I always have somehow. You're a part of me, an absolute necessity in my life..Now I find out that you're carrying my children..our children, and I couldn't be happier. Yenn, I've never had a family, can't really remember my own parents...You're giving me exactly what I've always wanted. I doubt I'll ever have a name, but I can certainly have a family with the woman I love. I couldn't put how happy I am into words, and I don't doubt for a moment that you'll be an amazing mother. You could never be like them, would never put a child born from you through such torment. We'll make mistakes sure, all parents do, but we'll make them together, and we'll have a loving family." He would say, his eyes their normal shade of yellow, there was no anger in them, no instinctive use of raiton chakra, just happiness, and love for a woman that he didn't think he deserved.

He would move to kiss her softly for a moment before leaning his head on hers. "It's going to be hard, it's going to have it's beautiful moments, and it's dark ones, but we'll handle each in turn, together, I'm not letting go of you because you're carrying my children Yenn, I'm holding on tighter, because it's all I could have reasonably asked for in life, and so much more." He would continue, his words soft, but fierce as he met her eyes again. He began to kiss away her tears, the process taking time, and some might say was ridiculous, but it as what he had done in that cave out in the wilderness, it was what he had done that stormy night, and it was what he would do now. Because nothing had truly changed between them, because he felt just as connected to her now, then he had then. Hell, more so.

Deep in his heart though, he was worried. He was going to be a father, to twins, and he would Yenn to protect as well. She was strong, but he couldn't risk their children growing without a mother. That meant he needed to gain more power, he needed to gain more strength. As lightning cracked across the sky, his vision would momentarily turn white, and in that moment he would see a snow white wolf with yellow eyes, sitting in a stormy plain, waiting for him. No words were spoken, but he could feel the call to fight him for power, challenge him for strength. The scene lasted for a the barest of moments, before it was gone again, as fast as the lightning in reality. When it was done he felt an instinctive knowledge of that creature. Knew what it could do for him, knew it's name, and the parameters of the challenge that had been laid down. It was like the beast had simply placed that information within his mind.

However he also knew the dangers too.

He could die in that fight, could simply pass on as easily as that if the wolf won. He could bring partners, could bring help, the wolf would allow it, but they would all be at risk. If he took the chance, and lost, he would be abandoning Yenn, abandoning his children. Could he take that risk? Thoughts of war, vivid images of the destruction of Moonspire and how helpless he was to help because of a stupid seal, and how he knew he couldn't fight those individuals without more power. With that, he knew he simply didn't have a choice. He had to, but he would only do so with her knowledge of it. With her knowing of what he had to do. For now though, he had to ensure that she was alright, and he held her tightly to him, his eyes never leaving hers. "Learning you're giving me the opportunity to be a father..to be a parent along side you..is simultaneously the happiest and most terrifying thing in my life Yenn. But it's also shown me just how unfathomable my love for you is. With this news, we're already committed to each other and I wouldn't have it any other way. I'm not good at this, and I know this isn't the most romantic setting in the world, and I don't have a ring at the moment, although I could get one quickly, but..Yenn, will you go through this with me as husband and wife? Will you marry me?" He would ask, his voice clear, his eyes loving, but his heart shaking in fear. As soon as the words left his mouth he knew they were a mistake because of the timing. She had just discovered she was pregnant, Moonspire had happened earlier that day, and he chose now to ask her to marry him?

It could be thought of as the perfect time for it in reality. They had just been given an up front example of just how quickly life could end. So why wait? But it was so much in one day for the woman that he doubted that would occur to her. He already regretted asking because of that alone. Not because he didn't want to marry her, he did, more than anything. He just didn't know why he had chosen to now. But, damnit it felt like at that moment it was the right thing to say, now he was scared out of his mind that she would push away, rebel against the idea and hate him for even suggesting it at a time like this. He was now terrified of losing her because of that mistake but he couldn't take it back now, not and make it worse. So he waited, with bated for her to process what he had said, asked, and then respond to it in kind.

Yenn cried uncontrollably as she curled herself around the small juniper trees in the floor. One small and shaking hand would move to touch the heavily scented greenery in an unconscious bid to calm herself as she wept. When he didn’t speak she grew frightened that everything she had just blurted out was true, until she felt Tamwyn’s strong arms lifting her from the ground and cradling her against him as he moved the short distance towards their bed. She didn’t cry less, but she did lean into his chest for comfort, pulling herself closer to him as they lay facing each other beneath the shade of the vines and flowers.

As Tamwyn placed his palm against her cheek she would open her eyes and look into the bright yellow of his, searching with trepidation for the anger and hatred that she was so sure would be there. But it wasn’t. She saw only happiness and love and both were directed at her, it was enough to quiet her sobbing as she listened to him, tears still flowing freely down her cheeks. As he spoke of how much he loved her, of how happy he was, her heart knew it was true. Her mind was having trouble with it, the insistent doubt and self loathing creeping back in as she struggled with all that had occurred in such a short span of time. She had only barely begun to handle what it was to be a mildly social human adult, in that ‘will occasionally speak to living beings and even look them in the eye if necessary’ way. In a single day she had gained new employment, been ‘sealed’ in the most horrific way, had watched an entire peaceful industrial town filled with innocent men, women and children be slaughtered mercilessly, had that same seal removed as her brand new boss was most likely evaporated though regardless of how was most certainly dead, met the Queen and the Raikage, been promoted, been sealed again this time less horrifyingly and given the power of Black Raiton. . . and after all of that had learned that she was pregnant with Tamwyn’s twins. It would have been a lot for any reasonably well adjusted person, for her it was overwhelming. It had left her spiralling within her mind, tormented by dark thoughts and memories and was almost too much.

His affirmations of how he viewed her did help, the reminder that he did love her and that he wanted this, he wanted her in his life. “It means so much to hear you say that Tamwyn. I needed to hear you say that, I didn’t know that I needed it until you said it. You always find the perfect things to say, and I believe you, really I do. It’s one of the reasons I love you. But I’m still scared. I’m scared that maybe I’ll change, that something will happen and I’ll become cruel and resentful. I couldn’t live with myself if I did, and that scares me too.” Her tears came slower as she held his gaze, the tenderness and adoration she saw there soothing her darkening mind. She returned his kiss and would sigh deeply, resting her forehead against his, the tight grip of fear around her heart loosening. She knew it wasn’t fair to him that she was so broken, his patience was never ending and he was her stalwart champion, and she loved him for it. She just wished he didn’t need to be, that she didn’t need this sort of gentle care and consideration. She wished more than anything that she could be brave and strong and not at risk of falling apart at every turn. It was more self loathing and part of her knew it wasn’t true, that she wasn’t a burden or a hindrance to his happiness, but she couldn’t shake the guilt she felt.

“I’m sorry Tamwyn. I’m sorry that I’m crying, I’m sorry that I’m not strong like you. I want to be perfect for you, for our children. . .” As she said the words ‘our children’ the reality of it hit her hard. She was pregnant. With twins. The rest of her life passed in front of her mind's eye in an instant, everything that the future would hold. From small changes like getting furniture for the children to larger ones like whether they would send them to the Academy, or when. She was on the verge of panicking as her brain went into overdrive with planning for all the ‘what if’ scenarios when Tamwyn began kissing away her tears, just as he had on the first day they had met. The memory of that first night with him brought a tear filled laugh from her lips, he hadn’t changed one bit, and her feelings for him hadn’t either. He was still as loving and tender as he had always been, she just hadn’t realized in that cave during that thunderstorm that it was love.

So when he spoke again and asked her to marry him her heart all but stopped and her eyes would widen in bewilderment. There was a lot to unpack in what he had said; his terrible and somehow perfect timing, his adorable and entirely unnecessary apology about not having a ring and then the actual question itself. “You want to. . . with me?” Her words were quiet and the disbelief was clear in her voice. She had never imagined a time when someone would ever want to spend the type of time Tamwyn already did with her. Let alone have them want to spend the rest of their life with her. She was in shock and for a few moments all she could do was stare as her half formed question hung in the air between them. She thought back to all the things he had done for her, done with her. She could easily see that he wasn’t putting on airs or saying things out of some sense of obligation. The way he had always protected her; with the Wind Demon, the Alliance, the Reavers and with Moonspire. His boundless patience as he spent time trying to show her what he saw; standing with her as she looked in the mirror and telling her she was beautiful. Even the room they currently lay in. He had literally created a forest indoors for her, just so she would feel comfortable and safe, and before that had simply and without complaint followed her out into the cold of the forest every night just to be with her. Since they had met every act he had done was with her in mind, and if that wasn’t love, then there had to be a greater word.

She started crying again, this time with a smile on her face. “Yes, Tamwyn. I will marry you.” She would lean forward to kiss him again, her hands wrapping around him as she half laughed and half cried, her heart pounding as it felt like it might burst from the love that she felt for him. Her kiss was brief as she pulled back to look into his eyes again, a small smirk teasing at the corner of her lips as the humour of his suggestion to ‘get one quickly’ cheered her up. “You do have terrible timing and I must admit it is halfways tempting to see just how fast you could get a ring. Only because it would be funny. I don’t need one, all I need is you my love.” She would never ask him to do it, but the thought of him speeding away to get one brought a warm smile to her face.

He would never tear his gaze away from her as she told him how much she needed to hear him say those words. As she told him how she was afraid. Afraid that she would become like those monsters that hurt her for so many years. How she wouldn't be able to live with herself if she did and he held her tight through it all. The kiss he gave her in response would be loving, and tender and the small smile on his as he looked into her violet eyes would hold a wealth of emotion within it for such a small thing. Fear of his own, happiness, understanding, love. As she apologized to him for so many things that she didn't need to apologize for he would listen patiently before speaking. "You have nothing, absolutely nothing to apologize for Yenn..You are perfect, perfect for me, and perfect for our children. Because you'll be their mother, and there's not a doubt in my mind that you'll love them like you've loved nothing else." He would say as he held her tighter.

When he asked his question, hope and love within the words and then fear and regret in his heart afterwards he would wait. Watching her widening eyes at the realization of what he just asked her. The words she said spoke of disbelief, she couldn't believe he had asked, and he felt his heart break at the tone. He had indeed screwed it up, had let himself get far too 'into the moment' with how he felt about her, about this entire situation. Too much had happened this day and now she simply couldn't believe he asked her such an insane thing. The silence between them stretched out for what seemed like an eternity and as the seconds passed he felt piece of piece of himself break. He had ruined this, what was probably the best thing that ever happened to him. She had even begun to cry, it took him a moment to notice the smile on her features when she did and when she spoke his world stopped.

She said yes?

She said 'yes' to this utterly insane thing he just asked her? But he couldn't be happier, and his smile came as she leaned in to kiss him, he returned it gladly and it ended entirely too quickly but when it did he saw the wicked smirk on her features before she spoke and he chuckled at her words before he pulled her into a kiss again, holding her to him and kissing him with all of the love he had for her. His words had left him, he couldn't find the ones that told her how happy he was for her answer. How overjoyed he was that they would be together through it all. He couldn't find the words, but perhaps he could find the actions. He held onto that kiss for a time, how long exactly he would never know. Time seemed to stop just for them but when he became aware again the sun had definitely shifted more based on the lighting in the room. When he broke that kiss he did so slowly, his yellow eyes never leaving her violet ones as his face moved from hers. His polished amber gaze was overflowing with love, affection, hope, and at that moment, desire. He always wanted her, always did, but he held those desires in check because he didn't want it to seem that was all he wanted her for. It wasn't the truth, not by any stretch of the imagination. But this moment, this beautiful moment in a day filled with darkness, no, this moment he would act on that desire and provided she had it too, they would consummate not a marriage, which would not happen yet, but their conjoined hope for the future.

His next kiss, should it succeed would hold that desire for her, a deep and loving one, within it. His hands would shift and his demeanor and mood would change minutely. Not in any negative way, just subtle ones that made the direction of his mood and desires clear. He knew, knew beyond any doubt that he didn't need to speak of them to her. She would recognize the shift and either reciprocate, or not. If she did not then he would hold her tight instead and simply enjoy her presence. Provided she reciprocated however he would break that kiss and look into her eyes. He wouldn't speak a word, he would just look, radiating his love within it. He honestly didn't think he needed words with her anymore, and wordlessly he moved to lift her, picking her up in his arms before he carried her, eyes never leaving hers, into their bathroom. Wordlessly he would set her down before pulling her close to him again. He couldn't stand the idea of having her out of his arms at that moment for even a single, solitary moment, and he would make to hold onto her gaze before kissing her again, this time a touch more fervently. This kiss would only last for a moment before he reached over and turned the hot water on within their bathtub. He hadn't turned the lights on, although residual light from the other room and the windows within the bathroom illuminated it enough. He did however reach over and flip the switch on the lights above the tub. Purple illumination rained down and he wrapped his arms around her waist lovingly as he looked into her eyes and at a nearby counter with all kinds of stuff on it from oils to soaps.

They were various gifts from him to her, things he had gotten over time for her to try that gave scents to the water or might make a bath more relaxing. He wasn't sure if she had ever tried any of them and the various labels and general lack of visibility within the various jars made it impossible for him to tell. His question though was clear, and he would wait for her actions, or words to state her desires on the matter. Eventually, the water within the tub would fill and he would turn it off before kissing her again, his hands this time not on her but wordlessly removing his own boxers before tossing them aside, breaking the kiss, extremely reluctantly as it meant breaking all physical contact with her at that precise moment, and step into the tub, sitting down within the steaming bath, a sigh on his lips, and his eyes never leaving her. They asked an wordless question of her as he sat within the water. Waiting as patiently as necessary.

Yenn was happy.

On that miserable and trauma filled day, a ray of happiness had shone through. Three of them actually. Tamwyn and now their two children. It was a lot, and there were many things that she needed more time to process, but as Tamwyn drew her into a kiss she let them all fade to the back of her mind. She didn’t know how long they lay there in each other's arms, though at some point she became aware that the storm had passed and the sun shone again. It was lower and dimmer but the dark clouds that had covered it had seemingly been chased away by the light of love that filled their flora covered room.

Her amethyst coloured eyes stayed looking into his amber coloured ones. There she could see all that she wanted in the world; love, affection, hope and desire. Her hand would come up and gently stroke along his cheek as she stared into her future, a soft smile on her face. She didn’t speak, she just gazed lovingly into his eyes while she caressed his face. Tamwyn was her whole world. Before him the world was dark and painful and she had done everything in her power to remove herself from it. Even going so far as to stand in the way of the Wind Demon’s attacks. He had shown her the light, he had cared for her, protected her, respected her. Loved her. And asked nothing in return. He had patiently earned her trust, given her the support she needed to trust herself.

As Tamwyn picked her up and carried her to the bathroom Yenn would smile and sigh happily. She was quite used to being carried around by this point, the difference in their sizes and strengths and speeds made it better in most cases for Tamwyn to just carry her everywhere. He didn’t carry her everywhere, at least in public. But in private she enjoyed it immensely, it made her feel safe to be in his arms. When he set her down she didn’t want him to let her go, a small frown creasing her face as he separated from her entirely and sat in the warm bath. The purple lighting made her smile, he had had it installed for her, purple being her favourite colour. Unless you counted black, which apparently most people besides her didn’t.

Yenn stood there for a few moments, awkwardly working through her anxiety at showing her scars. Still after all this time she came close to panic when she knew she had to show them to someone, even to Tamwyn. It was getting better, he had boundless patience and love and his efforts had made it easier around him at least. He had even gone so far as to remove or cover all of the mirrors in their home. The act, while kind, was also necessary after an unfortunate incident where she unexpectedly caught sight of herself in the bathroom mirror and had smashed it in a fit of panic and self loathing. Taking a deep breath she would slowly remove her robe and nightgown, tossing them carelessly on the floor. Yenn was an excellent outdoorswoman, but a housekeeper she was not. She stood there for a moment with her eyes closed, trying to control her breathing before opening her eyes and looking down at her right arm. The tattoo along her forearm created streaks of lightning over the scars there and she would turn her arm about as she marveled at the transformation. What had once been only painful memories of the abuse suffered at the hands of Quan and Tien, was now a power that had been granted to her.

After a few moments she would lower her arm and raise her eyes back to Tamwyn’s, smiling again as she saw the love and desire they held. Picking up a beautifully crafted glass vial she would remove the crystal stopper and pour some of the fragrant oil into the steaming water and then place the bottle on the edge of the tub. The scent of lilacs would fill the air and Yenn would breathe deeply as she carefully stepped into the hot water, extending her hand in a silent request for assistance as she navigated the slippery surface.

Tamwyn's eyes never left her as she stood there, working through the difficulties she had always gone through when showing her scars. She always hesitated before doing so, even with him. Although he was slowly making progress in making that hesitation a thing of the past. He waited for her to work through it patiently, not rushing a single thing and instead simply taking in the beauty of the woman that was to be wife, and mother of his children. His heart rated increased dramatically as that thought went through his mind. An excitement rushing through him as he imagined the future he would forge with her. Her hair, black as a raven's feathers hung down and her violet eyes were nearly a flawless match in shade to the light that fell around them. What skin showed was pale and healthy, even what was hidden would have an exotic beauty to it. The scars upon her were memories of her abuse by those savaged that dared to refer to themselves as her parents. However in his eyes the scars were a part of her. they helped her become the woman she was today. So he would never, could never, look at them with disgust.

So when she finally disrobed, removing the robe and nightgown and simply tossing the two garments on the floor Tamwyn would drink in her beauty with his gaze. Her eyes would meet his and a feeling of electrical pulses would go up his spine. He loved this woman more than he could ever describe with words and every time she looked at him. Each and every time those violet eyes met his yellow ones he had the same feeling of electricity go through him. She smiled at him, and he smiled back, his love and desire honest and clear. She would proceed to take a beautifully formed glass vial in her hand and remove the stopper before pouring some of the oil into the steaming water. The bottle would find a home on the edge of the bath and the sweet fragrance of lilacs would overtake them. She would breathe in deeply as she carefully stepped into the bath. Tawmyn would move up and take her offered hand to assist and guide her into the tub before sitting down himself and moving to pull her toward him.

Now that she was near him again he had absolutely no intent of letting her out of his grasp and he would move to pull her into a searing kiss to make that point clear. Words still didn't need to be said, actions spoke louder than words ever could and the white haired man intended to prove it. The bath tub had plenty of space within it for the two of them with room to move around in if they wished but he had no intention of making use of it. He would break the kiss after a few moments and look into her eyes with a small, hungry smile on his features as he looked within the very windows of her soul. The look would attempt to communicate his love for her. His happiness to have her in his life, how overjoyed he was that she would be the mother of his children. More importantly to the moment though, it would make to communicate his desire for her more than anything else. His hands would make their way to her hips and as he finally broke the eye contact he would look down at her form, droplets of water clinging to what was unsubmerged like drops of dew upon grass and again without a word he would kiss her, this time however it would be upon her neck, but not too quickly. He wanted this night to be perfect for both of them more than anything else. The day had been horrible for both of them. But maybe, just maybe, they could make the night an equal part amazing too.

One hand moved from her hip and trailed down her thought slowly, and he would rest it there as he broke the kiss upon her neck and looked into her eyes. Even now, even after all this, he wouldn't dare assume he could read her desires flawlessly and he looked into her violet eyes with his amber gaze with a single unasked question. It was probably stupid of him to feel the need to do so at that point. She had joined him naked in the tub for gods sake but that didn't make the ingrained action any easier to hold back. Besides, it never hurt to make sure, never hurt to ensure that this was truly what she might desire. The scent of lilacs had overtaken everything as the oil in the tub he had grown to absolutely love the scent over time although he had never really disliked it. It had simply grown on him more and more with time. He attributed the scent to her, as well as the scent of pine and fresh forest grass. As he looked into her eyes he inhaled deeply, letting the multitude of sensations overtake him. The scent of lilacs, the feeling of the hot water upon his skin and the feel of her against him and the deep thumbing beat of his heart as he met her eyes without blinking.

Taking Tamwyn’s offered hand Yenn would slowly lower herself into the steaming water, drawing herself as close as possible to the white haired man. She smiled blissfully as the warm water enveloped her, leaning forward and placing a soft kiss on the end of Tamwyn’s nose and laughing quietly. She adored him, and everything that she did encapsulated that idea. Every look and touch, each decision she made throughout the day, it all revolved around him. Most of the time she held a deep seated loathing for herself, an unshakable sense of disgust that overshadowed any sense of self worth she might have grasped on to. But when he looked at her like he did now, like he did every time he saw her, with pure love and desire. . . Those feelings faded away and she was left feeling as though she was the only thing in the whole world that mattered.

She would slowly plant gentle kisses along Tamwyn’s jawline, pausing between each one to gaze mischievously up at her future husband. Her desires and intentions were unhidden on her face and she moved to sit in the man’s lap, weaving herself into his embrace while the scent of lilacs swirled around them both.

--

The sun was gone from the sky, long since having dipped below the horizon as she lay in bed. Her nightgown had been replaced, but in her dreamy state had been replaced somewhat carelessly and with a laugh she would point out the tag that clearly showed in the front. “Honestly, how do you put up with me. I can’t even dress myself.” Yenn laughed as she spoke, only slightly embarrassed at having put the silk nightgown on inside out and backwards. “Don’t answer that. I’m not sure I could take an answer that wasn’t ‘No dear, you’re perfect and totally capable of dressing yourself like an adult’” She was joking. Mostly.

Tamwyn lay next to her, naked but for his boxers and he laughed with her as he pulled her close to him and made to kiss her. "It doesn't really matter how a nightgown is worn at the end of the though now does it? Just don't take it off to fix it, we'll never get any sleep if you do." He would joke wickedly as he placed an arm on her hip and held her close. He didn't want her out of his arms as his mind wandered. The sun had dipped below the horizon long ago and the darkness of night remained. However that wasn't all that had come during their bath together. Heavy rain could be heard outside and on the windows in the ceiling, striking a tattoo around them. It was a lulling sound that was usually able to put him to sleep in moments, now however it did the exact opposite. Something was in that rain, not literally, but a presence was within this storm which he didn't think for once had been caused by powerful emotions from Yenn. Well, maybe that wasn't the case but she had only ever seemed to cause them when she was frustrated and angry, or extremely sad. All negative emotions, and if he was correct she felt none of them at that moment.

Which meant that more than likely this storm was simply natural, it wasn't uncommon in their country, it was named the Land of Lightning after all, however something about this storm seemed quite different to him for some reason. As he lay next to her, one arm around her lovingly and taking the scent of lilacs and fresh grass and pine that she gave off his eyes would move toward one of the ceiling windows designed to give natural light. It was set into the roof a bit to control the lights angle at certain times of day so there was about foot or so of marble around the window exposed to the elements. His eyes felt drawn to that white space of marble and as a flash of lightning arced across the sky the image of a wolf appeared there within the light before vanishing with it as well. With that moment came new knowledge, of exactly what that latent presence was.

Everyone else would only feel as the storm seemingly having more energy to it, a certain underlay current in the air. However now he had a name to that feeling. It was Raijū, a great wolf of lightning, and in that brief flash of lightning he felt the beasts presence, what he wanted from him, what he could do with it should he obtain it, and the risks involved. Unconsciously his hand moved to Yenn's stomach, she wasn't showing yet, but it didn't matter once he knew. He activated his sensory, and felt the small presences within her. Their still developing chakra system making it possible for him to do so. Such strength of lightning, such power would allow him to stand toe to toe with those people who had destroyed Moonspire, those who had killed Damien. Those who had killed thousands of his colleagues. 'Akihiro Uchiha, Han Kaguya, and Ikomiki..' He would think silently as he remembered the names on his list.

Wordlessly, he would turn to Yenn and move to kiss her fiercely, a deep energy within him wanting to give some passionate sign of his love to her. He held that kiss for a time before breaking it and leaning his forehead against hers, his yellow eyes piercing into her violet ones. There was something that he would going to have to do, and he wouldn't do it without telling the woman he loved. Besides, he had to make some arrangements too, in case what he planned did not go well. Although he would try to get help for the task. "Yenn, my love. I need to speak to you." He would say simply letting his words draw her out of her dreamlike state. Something he absolutely hated to do, but he couldn't let it wait until morning. He would wait there, silently waiting for her to regain all form of focus, his patience for her knowing absolutely no end it would seem.

Yenn laughed along with Tamwyn and planted many kisses all over his face quickly, a mischievous glint in her violet eyes. “Who needs sleep anyway?” The answer was both of them. They both desperately needed to sleep, the day had taken its toll and while they had momentarily found energy and exuberance, it wouldn’t last forever. Instead of trying to fix her nightgown she would curl up close to Tamwyn, wrapping her free arm around his torso as she slid her other between his chest and the bed. It was as close as she could get but somehow didn’t feel quite close enough and she would squeeze him gently, nuzzling her face against his before returning his kiss.

She wanted to stay like this forever. Wrapped securely in her soon-to-be husband’s arms, surrounded by the smell of pine and the sound of storms. In her mind that was how the future would play out, the two of them growing old together, their children growing to be happy adults. It was a dream she had never dared have before Tamwyn, with him here though it all seemed possible. She had managed to find some semblance of peace with him at her side, and that peace radiated through her now as she looked up when he spoke. She trusted him completely, loved him fiercely and knew that nothing he had to say would change the future she could see clearly now. “That sounds serious.” She laughed as she teased him, it very well may be serious but she needed him to know that she was comfortable with him even in serious times. “What is it, my love?”

Her laugh, and subsequent kisses brought a smile to his features and he would make to catch her lips in his during one of her attempts to kiss his face. He would hold that kiss for a time before breaking it. Then when it came time to talk to her about what was coming he would hold her tight against him. Her mild teasing and laughter didn't help to assuage his worries of her reaction to this. When she finally asked what it was he wouldn't answer immediately, instead he would continue to hold her for a bit. After a few minutes of silence, he would pick her up, more shifting her really, to be atop him. Him looking up at her violet eyes around the cascading waves of her hair around his head. His piercing yellow eyes looking deep into them and sighing deeply before speaking. "I'm going to have to fight Yenn." He would say, the words simple to start. She had seen him fight first hand, seen him wage his own personal brand of violence and seen the effectiveness of it. So he hoped when he actually told her, in advance like this, that it would truly hit home.

"Something has been calling to me..Not something ephemeral like 'the call to war' or something stupid like that. A real, actual being, has been calling to me. It comes during the storms, I see it's shadowed image in the light of every flash of lightning. Every time I see it I get more an more instinctive knowledge of it. More and more information of what it is, what it wants with me." He would continue, not speaking too quickly, as if he were trying to find the proper words to explain it all himself. "It's name is Raijū, and what I know now is that he's the spirit beast of a god Yenn. His master, the god in question, passed on due to humanity forgetting about him, but the beast is immortal, and he searches for suitable partners, and picks one to partner with for the rest of their life. He's picked me as his partner, and the power he's already giving me is terrifying Yenn..." He would say, trailing off for a moment as he let it all sink in.

"He won't let me have it all that easily though..I have to fight him. I have to meditate, and go into the very depths of my own mind, and fight him head on, and win. If I do, he'll partner with me in truth and grant me even more power." He would begin again, getting to the point that had him worried so. "If I lose.." He would pause, the words difficult to say to her. "Yenn, if I lose, I die...simple as that. I can take partners, and I intend to go to Shimiko Chinoike for help, but if she doesn't agree I'll have to go alone more than likely..." He would say, his words trailing off toward the end as he looked up at her. He never broke eye contact during the entire explanation, as hard as it was. "I feel like I'll need his power after what happened today Yenn..I need to be stronger to protect you, and the children. I think of what happened to Damien..Gods Yenn, his little sister Chloe was on that ship with him I think, or in the tower. Because she wasn't amongst the survivors. I couldn't imagine not taking every ounce of strength I could to protect you and our kids from such a fate." He would say, his voice cracking at the end as his emotions got the better of him.

Yenn allowed herself to be moved, settling comfortably atop Tamwyn and giving him a reassuring smile. Whatever he meant to tell her was clearly difficult enough that his silence stretched out from seconds to minutes. She patiently waited, giving him the time he needed. When he finally did answer her question it was not at all what she was expecting. If she was being perfectly honest, part of her had been expecting some sort of rejection, some reason that her fears from a few hours earlier had merit. She would push herself up using her hands against his chest and look down at him thoughtfully.

It was a serious conversation indeed. And though Yenn was constantly filled with anxiety and fear, those emotions were directed at her own perceived shortcomings and traumas, not external events usually. So while she did not like that Tamwyn had to fight a beast? She was always more clear headed when it came to his safety, even when they had first met dealing with his injury had been a straightforward matter. Unless you counted her going on a tirade of swearing. Which she didn’t. As he spoke she shook her head as he said he might have to go alone, bringing a hand to gently caress his cheek as she heard his voice crack. “Sssh, my love. It’s alright. I’m not going to pretend to understand why you have a spirit beast talking to you, or why you need to fight it, but if you need to then that’s alright. One thing I will promise you though, you won’t be doing it alone. I love you Tamwyn. More than anything. And I will never leave you to fend for yourself, so if you need to fight this lightning beast, then I’m coming too. I love that you protect me, you’ve literally stood in the way of swords for me, hell you got skewered for me.” She would trace her other hand over the brand on his chest as she spoke, only breaking his gaze for long enough to draw attention to her point. “Let me do the same for you. You will always have me by your side. When do we go?” When it came to protecting Tamwyn she was fearless, and now was no different. If she needed to go fight a mythical spirit beast in his mind in order to keep him safe, she would do it gladly. She couldn’t imagine a world without him in it, and if him losing this fight meant that, then she would do everything in her power to avoid that outcome.

When she spoke, quietly shushing him as she caressed his cheek, he would listen. His eyes would remain glued to hers as she spoke and as she spoke of him not fighting the beast alone a suspicion came across him. When she stated his intention of coming with him his eyes would widen in mild surprise. When she brought up how he protected her in the past, even got skewered by stone protecting her, his mind would flash back to Yuan Ji, The Wind Demon. As her fingers traced the brand from her pendant. The mark that the skewering had left him with after she cauterized the wound with the only thing she had, the pendant she wore around her neck, he would relish in the feel of her touch. When she spoke again, asking him to let her do the same for him, asking him when they left he would fall silent. He held her tight, wrapping his arms around her waist and pulling her down to him to hug her fiercely. There weren't enough words to describe how much he loved and cherished this woman. However he knew she couldn't come with him.

"You can't.." He would say softly, before moving to look her in the eyes once more, burnished gold meeting violet. "Yenn, I want you to know now, that I love you, more than I could possibly describe, and I love that you want to protect me as I work to protect you. But you have a much more important task." He would say before taking his arms from around her waist and pressing a hand against her stomach. "Protecting them..Protecting our children..Taking them into this fight, a fight I'm not sure we'd be able to win, would be a risk I can't allow you to take..A risk I won't let you take..Not because I want to protect you, which I do, but because I need to protect them. The two children are ours Yenn, you've given me the one thing I have always wanted more than anything in this world." He would pause there, and place his hand over her heart, feeling the rhythmic beating of her heart. "I'm doing this to be able to better protect you, and them. If I failed, even if I succeeded, if I lost you and the twins. Then life wouldn't be worth living anymore..I'm going to fight Raijū for the strength and power to protect you and our children. I need you to protect me in another way. Protect my hopes and dreams, by keeping safe the lives we've created together." He would say, finishing with tears forming at the corner of his eyes.

Yenn was deadly serious about going with Tamwyn to fight the spirit beast. In his head. Somehow. She honestly had no idea what he was talking about, he was saying words, words that she knew even. But she didn’t quite know how to put them together into a concept that she could grasp fully. But just like everything else they had ever done together, whether it was the ‘Wind Demon’ or the ‘Alliance’, she didn’t need to fully understand it. She knew in her heart what was right and what was wrong. She wasn’t a scholar or the academic type, but she didn’t have to be. She trusted Tamwyn’s instincts and she trusted her own, and that was enough. As strange sounding as this all was she knew that it was right. And she also knew she could help.

So when he said ‘You can’t.’ she was actually shocked. Her eyes would widen as a myriad of unhelpful thoughts rushed through her head. She could barely believe he had just said that to her. Every exchange they had ever had, verbal or otherwise, had always been him reassuring her that she could do things. There was a mixture of hurt and anger in her eyes as she met his eyes again. She considered saying a good many very not nice things in the moment between his first short sentence and his next that had a much better explanation. Fortunately she would bite her tongue and allow him to speak before going ballistic.

As his hand settled on her stomach she understood. She felt invincible, and compared to a lot of things that they had faced together she might as well have been. But their twins, that was another story entirely. She was willing to give up her life for Tamwyn, but if she did that then. . . He was right of course, and she could see from the way he held her tight and the tears forming in his eyes that this was not about anything other than love. She would place her hand overtop of his on her heart and then speak softly. “I understand what you’re saying, and you’re right. I don’t like it, but you’re right. I was going to yell at you at first you know. I just want to help you, and I can protect our children of course, but that also means I’ll be sitting around worrying but not actually doing anything. I will feel, I do feel useless. Powerless. I’ll keep myself safe, and the children safe, but if there is anything I can do to actually help I want to. Tamwyn I don’t think that if. . . I don’t think I could. . .” Tears formed in her own eyes as she thought of what could happen, now that she knew she wasn’t going with him, his fate was entirely out of her hands. She had felt like she could still hope with some modicum of control over the future, without the illusion of control though she felt lost. She would bury her head in his chest and shake her head as her voice came out muffled. “You won’t die. You can’t. I need you and I can’t imagine a world without you in it.”

At his initial two words her eyes would widen in surprise and he could see the pain and anger in her eyes before he explained fully why it was that she couldn’t. When he finished she would place her hand over his upon her heart before speaking. He would listen as she told him that she understood, that she didn’t like it, but that he was right. His eyes became sympathetic as she mentioned that he taking care of their children meant that she would be doing a lot of sitting around and worrying but no actual helping. She said she felt powerless, but she said she would keep herself and the children safe. She wanted to help, told him if there was anything she could do despite her pregnancy she wanted to do it. Then she would begin to tell him that she didn’t think she could go on without him. She couldn’t finish the words, but the tears in her eyes told him enough and when she buried her head into his chest he would hold her tighter. She began to say he couldn’t die, that he wouldn’t. That she needed him and that she couldn’t imagine a world without him in it and he would just hold her tighter.

“I can’t die now that I’m finally getting everything I could have possibly wanted. A loving wife, a family. I don’t have any intention of losing to a lightning wolf. Besides, I don’t intend to go alone. I intend to ask Shimiko Chinoike for help. Between the two of us, I doubt anything untoward will happen. Afterwards though, I’ll probably be sent out into the coming war. I don’t know how often I’ll be home when that happens Yenn..What I need from you, what I need you to do, is just stay safe. I want to go out there knowing you’ll be safe and sound and taking care of our children. I want to fight without worrying if something has happened to you.” He would say as he maneuvered himself to kiss her tears from her eyes if they fell. It was something he almost always did when she cried. Just like the first night they had met. Once that was done he would tilt her head to look at him, to look into his eyes once more. “I’ll tear the nation's enemies apart, bone by bone and brick by brick to get back to you Yenn..To get back to our family..You just give me something worth fighting for..Because without you, and now our children, this world would have no meaning to me anymore.” He would say simply, before kissing her, softly this time. Then he would pull his lips from hers and look into her eyes, a small, loving smile on his features.

"Yenn my love, I know it might be difficult now, but we should try to get some sleep. We'll need all our rest in the coming days..Good night, my Storm Queen.." He would say softly before shifting to the side, holding her close. This would essentially change her position from being atop him to next to him, and his arm would wrap around her and hold her close as he himself got comfortable for sleep. Provided she agreed of course. With that, he would close his eyes, the scent of fresh grass and pine from her filling his sense of smell as he fell into a peaceful sleep. As he always did when she was there.

Potential Exit

Still shuddering from her crying, Yenn would look up at Tamwyn with a look of defiance in her violet eyes. “You better not die, I’ll be really angry. And you tell Shimiko that if she lets you die then I’ll kill her myself.” It was an empty threat, not in her intentions as she absolutely meant it. She would try to kill her if she let Tamwyn die. But the chances of her being successful in that endeavour were next to none. Even Yenn knew that, but her passion wouldn’t allow her to sit idly by and not avenge Tamwyn’s untimely death should it occur.

Still she would hug Tamwyn tighter and shake her head with a half smile on her face. “I mean it Tam, if you die I will burn the world to the ground and build a castle on the ashes for our children. I will keep them safe, but know that I will never stop fighting for you. Not in this life or whatever comes after.” She let him kiss away her tears and she would finally smile broadly as her sentiments echoed his own, returning his soft kiss.

As he moved her so that she lay next to him again, she would curl up against him and nuzzle her head against his chest. She was scared for him but she had also never seen him fail. If he had someone helping him then that was enough. She wished it could have been her, but she understood why he wanted her far from danger. “You’ll come back to me, you always do. And when you do, I’ll be right here, my love.” As he called her ‘Storm Queen’ she would look up with a grin and kiss him once gently before returning to nuzzling against him. “Good night, my angel. Sleep well and dream of me.” She would quickly fall asleep as she lay in his arms, the safety she felt there warding off the nightmares and allowing her a peaceful slumber.
 
[Exit Thread]