Stormy Memories (Mission) (M Rated)

She would listen, moving aside from the fire to give it a clear path to him so he could try to stay warm. Her actions in regards to temperature still confused him. It was like she simply didn’t feel the cold in the least. As this thought came across his mind another breeze would roll in and he would shiver again. The sky would begin to darken quickly and he’d raise an eyebrow in confusion before the sound of distant thunder could be heard. “Ah..” He would say, taking another swig of his whiskey. She had been sympathetic to his story thus far, but this wasn’t the part that had broken him. Or was at least threatening to. He wasn’t looking forward to this.

Nodding his head in acknowledgement of her words, he would continue. “Ryuko-sensei did so much for me. In our first meeting as a team she decided I was Chunin level on the spot. She even gave me access to some of the villages most prized techniques. That aura you felt around me before, is one of them. I worked to prove worthy of that trust. I failed it, when I was assigned a mission to exterminate a vicious bandit group targeting people traveling to the Heavenly Emporium.” He would say, naming the neutral ground for all villages during the war. It was well known enough as it was told to all shinobi who left on missions so that if they needed it, they might find safe harbor there if worse came to worst.

“My mission partner there was a small woman named Sayuri, I say small, but she was actually about 5’3. Had long blonde hair, and piercing sapphire blue eyes. She wore a dress of all things and went around barefoot. When the mission started she was quiet and shy, even writing my name on a piece of paper to ask if it was me, rather than asking directly. I flew us to our target location, an old fort apparently. Blew down the gates and entire outer wall..and...and..proceeded to become a monster..” He would say, taking another pull from his flask before taking a deep breath. “I started killing bandits left and right, quick things, although some were brutal in how they ended up. The kind of thing you don’t really avoid sometimes. I’m ashamed to admit I’ve always enjoyed the act of killing. Proving once and for all that you’re the stronger individual has a certain primal feel to it. But I’ve only ever let that side out on missions where I’m specifically ordered to kill the target.” He would continue, pausing but not taking a drink this time.

“Sayuri however, loved to torture, loved to murder in the most vicious ways possible. I watched her carve the face off one bandit, and try to stick it on another that she had captured. When that failed she stuffed the face into his mouth and killed him. She stabbed another in the neck and licked the wound, loving the taste of blood and slowly, ever so slowly she began to make me want to torture my targets too. To draw out their deaths. I slowly inched closer to the edge and finally broke, and when I did so I was rewarded. My torturing and slaughtering of men and women, who were destined to die at that point anyway, was rewarded. We were intimate, right there, against the keep wall with other bandits frozen in terror and forced to watch. The slaughtering continued on after that..but..but that horrible day, has haunted me.” He would say, a ghastly look in his eyes as he saw over and over again the acts he had done that day. None of them were even considered illegal. “I regret that day so much, and I see her every now and then. A vivid mental flash to sapphire eyes, blonde hair, smiling lips covered with blood. It keeps me awake at night. She awoke something far more primal in me, bestial, and I have to fight to keep it under control when I potentially kill someone.” He would say, finishing that part of the tale as he took another pull and sighed. “Then there was the Battle of Meijing..” He would say, trailing off as he waited to ensure she was still with him.

[Tam 26]

As Tamwyn continued to speak of his accomplishments within the village Yenn would nod encouragingly. What had started as a sad tale, seemed to be taking a turn for the better. To have gained the trust of the Raikage in such a short time was no small feat, and something that she felt he should be proud of. Maybe he was, though she couldn’t tell from his manner, his story being underscored with deep sighs and mouthfuls of whiskey. Otherwise his demeanor was detached and his storytelling precise. Not to say that he was emotionless, but she supposed this must be difficult for him to talk about.

Once his tale shifted to a more recent event, a mission with a woman named Sayuri, she would clutch tighter at her knees and the flask she held. She didn’t like what she was hearing, didn’t like that someone had tried so hard to corrupt him. And according to him, it was successful. His description of the events that transpired made a slow trickle of nervous sweat slide down her spine. She wanted to cry, or run, or hunt down the blonde haired sapphire eyed woman and make her pay. But she couldn’t let herself do any of those things, she didn’t think he was trying to scare her, she felt like he was confessing, and if he just needed someone to listen to him she could do that. At the mention of him being ‘rewarded’ her cheeks would turn scarlet with embarrassment, the killing and the torture were horrible, but that part was more intimate than she was used to speaking to others about.

As he mentioned having something primal awakened in him she would speak up quietly. “Is that what I saw with Yuan Ji?” There was no judgement in her voice, just simple curiosity, a quest for understanding. She didn’t really expect him to answer especially if she was correct in what she had seen. She would nod for him to continue, taking another drink from the flask, this time without coughing. She’d heard of the Battle of Meijing, that it had been a bloody affair, and that he was there in the thick of it.

She would listen, asking only a single question as he spoke. Asking if she had seen a piece of the primal nature in him when they confronted Yuan Ji. He would nod his head at her question, confirming her suspicion. Then he would continue on, worried that if he spoke of anything else, he wouldn’t be able to finish. “The Battle of Meijing was in some ways better, and worse than that mission with Sayuri. The Mountain Alliance had begun to stir up riots and cause trouble in the town. We were tasked with evacuating civilians and taking out any enemy shinobi or Mountain Alliance members we came across. I came across one, a young woman, who to this day, I still don’t know the name of. I blindsided her with my largest jutsu..The same one I used to blast out the front wall and gate of that keep I mentioned before. See, I had only used the jutsu on a target for the first time on that mission. It was against a dilapidated old fort, and a worn down gate. So I wasn’t expecting the results of what I’d do to Meijing City.” He would say, pausing to take a swig of his whiskey. His cheeks would look a bit flushed, but nothing too serious and outside the sound of rain starting and flashes of lightning and peels of thunder could be heard.

“The technique I used is called ‘Kikoho’. To put it into perspective, it’s about 100m wide and three times that long. The first time I used it outside of training, where I only fired it into the sky. I blew away the front wall of a dilapidated old fort. The second time...was much more poignant. There wasn’t a building standing within the area of the blast. I’m fortunate that all the civilians had been evacuated from the area. However, that Konoha shinobi? I turned her into little more than fried meat. I still don’t know how she survived. Her skin was cracked and blackened, she was losing blood like a sieve. I freaked out and tried to help by stopping the bloodflor and firing a flare into the air for emergency medical support. However that destruction I caused, the damage I caused to a girl who might’ve been fourteen? Fifteen? I can’t stop that nightmare either..” He would say, finishing off the story with a final drink that emptied the flask. He closed it and clicked it to his belt. Blinking away tears that threatened to escape. “That’s why I can’t just let someone die when I can help it. I’ve done far too much already..That’s why I won’t let anything happen to you by Yuan Ji. Not unless I’m quite dead already.” He would say the last with a quiet determination and a low rumble of something within his chest. The wind blew into the cave again and he closed his eyes as he shuddered, relishing the feel of the cold air as the storm outside continued.

[Tam 27]

He seemed to confirm a ‘yes’ to her question about what she’d seen while they were confronting Yuan Ji. It was a curious thing, to have a person willing to admit that they enjoyed killing in the same breath as saying they felt mournful over having done it. She could see that it was a deep seated conflict within him as he continued his story from the war. A young girl had been nearly killed, and it seemed as though he’d done it by accident, not realizing the true scope of his power. She would nod sympathetically as he spoke of having ceaseless nightmares. Seeing the tears that he blinked back broke her heart and she wanted more than anything to comfort him, to tell him that it wasn’t his fault and that he didn’t have to carry that. And she would have if she could have reasoned any way that those sentiments were factual. The truth was that she didn’t know, she just hoped.

Her head was swimming with the whiskey that she’d consumed, a fuzziness overtaking her thoughts as she sat quietly and took in the gravity of his words. Despite her better judgement she would take another mouthful of the burning liquid from the flask, because more was obviously always better. Her head shaking side to side as he spoke of why he was willing to die to protect her. He was wrong. It was a concept that was burned into every fiber of her being; she was not worth anyone’s death. But she felt the need to say something, anything to reassure him that he wasn’t the failure he thought he was. “I’m not here to judge you Tamwyn. I wish I could take your guilt from you, you don’t deserve to carry it. I can’t pretend to understand how it feels to you, and maybe you won’t take this seriously since we’ve only known each other for a day but. . .” She would lower her knees and move her legs so that she sat cross legged, her elbows pressing on the insides of her thighs as she leaned forward and leveled her violet gaze at his yellow one. “You are not a failure. Forget about your titles, your hand in the war. Just think about today. Today you kept me alive. There is no question in my mind that I was as good as dead. I’m not strong, I’m not fast, I’m at best average. Without you there to stand in the way I would be in at least two pieces right now. You took an impossible situation and you made sure we both lived through it.” She would pause and look down at the ground, moving her toes in the dirt as she tried to calm herself. She was getting emotional, probably due to the large amount of alcohol she had already consumed. Shaking the flask in her hand gently she guessed there was probably half of it left, she was still a far cry from what Tamwyn had drunk so far though and she would look sadly at the flask before holding it out towards him.

“It sounds to me like you were put in terrible positions. You didn’t choose to be manipulated by a monster, it just happened. The world looked away that day, didn’t help you. That’s not the same as you being a failure. And the war, well, you said the girl survived didn’t you? To hold yourself wholly responsible for that is a disservice to what she wanted. She chose to be there, the same as you did.” She would sigh and place the flask down on the ground between them assuming he had not already taken it from her. While the impulsive and wounded part of her wanted to keep drinking herself into oblivion, the more responsible part knew she’d be no good to anyone if she couldn’t keep at least some of her wits. Though those wits were fading fast as the merciful heat from the whiskey dulled the sharp sting of reality.

She would give a sympathetic nod as he spoke of his nightmares. Her violet eyes would meet his as she spoke and told him that she didn’t see him as a failure. She told him to forget about his titles, his hand in the war, she told him to think of today, and how he had saved her. He shook his head absently. When she held the flask out toward him he would see she was being affected heavily by whiskey and he moved over to her and took it calmly. Although he wouldn’t drink from it. He’d had enough himself, instead he’d just clip it to his waist again. Rather then move away and sit back down though, he’d just sit next to her, careful to put an inch of two of distance between them so as not to get shocked.

She would continue, telling him that what had happened was him being put into terrible positions. That he didn’t choose to be manipulated by a monster, that the world didn’t help him that day. That the girl he had so savagely injured in that battle had been there of her own volition as he was. He would shake his head again before speaking. “I should’ve been stronger than her..I should’ve been able to hold myself together. Instead I found a taste for the pain of others, and I hate it. I failed myself on that day, more than I ever have. In the battle that girl didn’t go there to get blindsided by a jutsu she had no hope of defending against. She didn’t go there to be nearly killed. I did that to her, and I hate myself for it each and every day. When it comes to saving you..” He would pause, looking up to her violet eyes, his yellow ones becoming intense as he remembered the look of peaceful acceptance as she thought she was about to die. The continued insistence that he shouldn’t have saved her. “Did I do the right thing? From your perspective? You looked awfully ready to die back then..and have continuously told me I shouldn’t have done what I did.” He say, his eyes darting to her hands and arms, seeing the scars upon them and realizing they matched with the ones she had seen on her neck.

“What of these scars?..What happened to you to hurt you so badly? Both emotionally and physically?” He would ask, his eyes becoming concerned as he refused to look away from hers. She could be wrong about how the Sayuri situation wasn’t his fault. She could be incorrect about that girl from Konoha. However he refused to believe that there wasn’t something wrong with Yenn now. She had been far too insistent that he shouldn’t have saved her. But so far everything had been fine. He had spoken of his past, his demons, the time had come to ask her, provided she would answer, about hers.

[Tam 28]

Tamwyn had taken the flask from her and instead of moving back he’d sat beside her, a cautious inch or two away. Were she not currently inebriated she might have moved further away. Not that the emergency had passed and she was sure that there was no immediate danger, the adrenaline fueled bravery had evaporated and her usual demons clung to her, trying to drag her down again. It was an exhausting cycle, nightmares all night, dark thoughts all day; the whole thing leaving her to fall into restless slumber again. She could not recall the last time she had truly felt at rest, and she knew this would be yet another night filled with worry and torment as her mind refused to settle from the events of the day.

She had been trying to convince him that he wasn’t to blame, wasn’t somehow inherently bad. But ultimately she felt as though she’d failed. He still insisted that he could have done better or more. That he shouldn’t have hurt her, and that he hated himself for it. That comment shocked her, that he actually hated himself. He’d seemed so self assured before, she never would have imagined that he would use the word ‘hate’ to refer to his feelings on his own personage. It was almost hypocritical for her to think like that, given how she felt about herself. But she never viewed her own actions and thoughts as a fair comparison to other people.

As his eyes would return to hers she would shrink under the intensity of his gaze, looking away as he asked if he should have saved her. The image of Yuan Ji’s sword sweeping towards her returned to her mind, the tranquility that she had felt in that moment was beyond comparison. The exhaustion and fear, pain and nightmares had faded away in that one split second. She had been so ready, so accepting of her fate that it had almost been painful as she had watched it slip by. She wanted to scream at him, to tell him that yes, she had been ready to die and he should have let her. She knew that never went over well though, so she kept it to herself and swallowed loudly, trying to force the lump of pain in her throat to disappear. “I knew I was going to die. . .” she spoke softly and tentatively, gauging her words on his reaction to them. Should he become upset with her she would have to change her story, she couldn’t bear the confrontation. “And I was just. . . making peace with it.” It was close enough to the truth. She hadn’t gone into that scenario with the intent of letting Yuan Ji kill her, but when presented with the opportunity she had been loath to turn down the offer of release.

She would glance back up to him again, worry still in her eyes. She had been trained to suffer quietly, to not upset the peace with her complaining or sadness. To the point where she pushed her feelings so far down that they physically struck out with her input. Now though with the courage of the whiskey in her blood, a tiny crack had appeared in the armor she had built for her heart. As he asked about her scars she instinctively tried to cover her hands and said very unconvincingly, “What scars?”

Her answer to his question regarding if he should have saved her left him unsatisfied. That swallow before hand made it seem like she had resolved herself to say something. His eyebrows furrowed in curiosity and concern before finally he let it drop. It was her business, not his. All he could really do was prod gently until she was ready to speak of things to him. Still though, he hoped she would one day. He wanted to help her, wanted to try to make her see herself as valuable. Which she clearly did not. “Very well.” He would say in response to her words, an outward sign of letting them drop. It might help her relax a bit. However when he asked about her scars her instinctive reaction was to ask him ‘what scars?’.

He blinked in surprise a moment, was she serious? Did she actually think he couldn’t see them? No, no that couldn’t be it. She just denied their existence..However she didn’t outwardly try to lie to him about them yet. Perhaps, just perhaps, she would tell him about them. Tell him about her past, her life. That would be a step in the direction of being able to try to help her at least. “The ones on your hands that seem to go up your arms, and strangely match the ones on the back of your neck that I saw during our wonderfully expedient journey to this part of Kaminari no Kuni.” He would say, an eyebrow raised in curiosity. “You seem to be covered in them Yenn..I’m not going to hurt you, I swear it. So why not tell me where those are from? The story behind them I suppose.” He would ask, trying to help her understand that he meant her no harm whatsoever.

The scars were oddly shaped like lightning and he feared where they may have come from. To take such a physical and psychological toll on her they would have to be from when she was much younger. It would take a great deal to help her from that. Hell, it probably explained why she seemed to sympathize with him regarding his nightmares. Because she had some of her own that haunted her sleep. Holding a hand up slowly, waiting for her to see it he would speak, his voice gentle, soft. “I’m going to touch you..” He would say, before reaching a hand over and moving to gently take her hand in his. “Talk to me..” He would say simply, one final time. A gentle plea in his tone.

[Tam 29]

She would breathe a sigh of relief when the subject of whether or not she had a death wish passed by with a simple ‘very well’. The topic switch to her scars wasn’t much better though, and she saw the blink of surprise at her habitual answer, and winced in response. She hadn’t meant to lie so easily, and stupidly. Looking down at her hands she would spread her fingers wide and stare at the raised streaks of lightning that marred her skin. As he patiently pointed out that he had seen the scars, she would whisper into her lap as she kept staring at her hands. “I got so used to lying about them, I’m sorry, I wasn’t trying to call you stupid.” His joke about how they’d ended up here would garner a small smile from the Inazuma’s face, it was amusing enough that she would tear her eyes from the back of her hands and look up at him again, seeing the raised eyebrow she would frown apologetically.

He wanted to know the story behind them. All she could think was ‘why?’ as she looked into his eyes and considered whether she had the strength to explain. She survived by pretending that these things didn’t haunt her, and if she spoke of them out loud it would be undeniable. The thing was she wanted to be able to talk to someone, she always had. He even said he wouldn’t hurt her, something she thought she was hiding better than she was. The fear of being hurt. As he caught her attention and warned her that he was going to touch her she felt herself stiffen, but she wouldn’t move to stop him. His hand felt nice against hers, comforting and safe. And she would look at the concern in his eyes, hearing his plea for her to talk to him and she would nod silently in agreement to his request.

So with a broken sigh she would look away towards the fire and quietly explain where the scars had come from. “They were put there, I mean they came from. . .” She let out a frustrated groan as she fought against the years of threats that told her to stay silent or she’d receive more. “This is hard, I’m not supposed to-” She would shake her head as she further attempted to correct her thinking. “I wasn’t supposed to talk about it. I guess there’s no one to stop me now, but it’s still terrifying.” Bringing her hand up to her starred pendant she would grip it in her palm to try to absorb some of the strength she imagined it held. “This necklace was given to me by my only friend. We were small, maybe six or seven years old. He was my only friend in the whole world, I spent every bit of time with him that I could. I thought I could trust him, that talking with him was safe. But it wasn’t. As it turns out he’d repeated enough of what I’d told him in confidence to his mother. And his mother, well she. . .” Yenn would pause as her breath came quicker and her hand would twitch in Tamwyn’s as she fought against her rising panic. “I think she probably just wanted to help. I don’t think she meant to cause a problem. She’d come to confront Quan and Tien, to. . . I don’t know, make them stop maybe? And all her meddling did was anger them both further. They. . . there was. . .” Her voice cracked and she gripped Tamwyn’s hand tightly, refusing to look at him as tears fell down her cheeks and she felt as though she were back in that moment again. She found she couldn’t find her voice as the memory of that pain, that betrayal ripped through her again. Outside the storm raged and the skies broke open. Lightning crashing as angry winds whipped the rain to the ground.

He would nod politely at her explanation for the swift denial. It was fair enough really, years of denying the existence of something was generally good for building up an automatic reaction when that something was questioned. As his hand found hers, her would grip it gently, comfortingly, and his question would be met with a silent nod of agreement. He would be patient, and listen the entire time. He would watch her body language carefully, how she looked into the fire, how she couldn’t seem to settle on a single way to explain them. Not that she was trying to lie, but that she was trying to figure out how to explain them. He wondered briefly if she had ever done so before. Without a word he would slide a little closer, making contact and wrapping one gentle arm around her shoulders and hug her. He wagered that if she was already holding back the lightning for his hand, then he should be able to do this without causing a similar reaction.

He would just listen, silent, and supportive, his yellow eyes never breaking from her face. Even if her eyes were turned toward the fire. When she began to speak of the necklace, he would wait. Figuring that the tale was involved. When she spoke of her only friend and how his mother had confronted..Quan? Tien? Her parents maybe? He wasn’t sure. However as she began to try to talk of what happened after her friends mother confronted those two individuals she said they got angry, and then her voice cracked, her grip tightened, and tears began to fall down her cheeks. Instinctively he gripped back, silently telling her that he was there. Releasing her shoulder, he’d unwind his arm from her shoulder and move to wipe them away with a single finger. Should she allow him to, he’d gently turn her to face him, and wipe the tears from that side too as his yellow eyes met her violet ones. The storm raged on outside, lightning flashed and thunder cracked. The torrential downpour of rain struck stone and any one would have found shelter this night.

With a calm, gentle voice, he would simply say two words to her. “I’m here.” He would say, patience embedded into them as her inner defenses seemed to begin to crack and fail. He would listen, he would support her, and he wouldn’t betray her. “Who are Quan and Tien?” He would ask quietly, giving her the opportunity to perhaps talk about those two in a happier light, if there was one. If not, then at least he would know if those two were her parents or not. He dreaded his reaction if they were. He felt a storm rolling through him just as harshly as the one outside. He didn’t want to believe it was true, but she would have to tell him in order for that to be the case.

[Tam 30]

Yenn was grateful for Tamwyn’s arm around her, to have a touch in that moment that wasn’t meant to hurt her meant the world. He was silent as she spoke, there was no confrontation or judging like she feared. And even as she lost herself in her sorrow she felt a single finger brush away the tears on her face. She felt like she couldn’t breathe, like her heart had been placed in a vice and her heart was somehow the thing that allowed her to live at all. As her past tightened around her she wept silently, eventually leaning her head against Tamwyn’s shoulder as the wave of pain passed and left her empty. His words ‘I’m here’ were the only things connecting her to the present, her mind stubbornly stuck in her past and forcing her to relive her memories.

“They are my parents.” She would reply softly to his question about Quan and Tien. She wished she didn’t have to answer. She wished that she could simply refer to them as far removed villains from some cautionary tale. She hated even using the word ‘parents’, it felt wrong to her. They were only ‘parents’ by happenstance, they’d done nothing to earn the respect that title implied. “I wish they weren’t. I wish I had never been born.” She still wanted to scream, wanted to be able to answer his questions without any words, and without having to think about anything. With a deep melancholy in her voice she would continue her story, her head still resting on Tamwyn’s shoulder. “They burnt me, with lightning, for. . . for hours? Days? I don’t know. I don’t remember how long. I just remember the pain and that I was screaming. After that I wasn’t allowed to see my friend anymore, and I wasn’t allowed to speak up. Everytime I did they’d teach me why I shouldn’t.”

She would let out a sigh as she felt her panic fighting to take over, she didn’t want to give in to it but she felt as though she had little control over her wants at that moment. “I tried so hard to be good enough.” Her words were spoken in a distant sounding voice, wistful and broken.

Eventually she would learn her head against his shoulder and he would wrap his arm around her again, this time stroking her hair gently. Trying to comfort her with silent encouragement to continue. Trying to tell her that she could trust him not to betray her. When she confirmed the two individuals she had named were in fact her parents his own heart nearly stopped. It stayed like that as she spoke of how they burnt her with lightning for so long she lost count of the hours. If she spoke up, they would teach her why she shouldn’t. His heart utterly shattered when she spoke of how she had tried so hard to be good enough and he felt tears of his own at his eyes. “It is they that were not good enough for you Yenn..To do something like that to your own flesh and blood is..abhorrent to me.” It was true enough, he dreamed, actually dreamed, of a family of his own one day. He wanted it more than anything else. It was the overriding desire that influenced all others. His desire to be a legendary shinobi? So his children would have someone to look up to, and so his enemies wouldn’t dare touch his family. His desire for wealth? For an incredible home? To be able to give everything they could possibly want.

It all boiled down to a burning desire to have a family of his own one day. He wanted the honor and right to take the last name of whoever woman he ended up marrying. So that he would belong somewhere for the first time since his parents died. So to hear that someone, that both parents, had disgraced that sacred charge of parenthood, left his own heart broken and him wanting to help her. “Your parents don’t deserve the title, I’m sorry you had to clarify..Are they alive? Do they torment you still? Does associating with them hurt you?” He would ask the questions quickly, as they came to his mind. He knew he should slow down but he just couldn’t. He needed to find a way to help her. “I..I don’t know if this will help. But I’m soon to be moving into a much wealthier lifestyle. I’ll have a large home, and far too much room to utilize..I would invite you there..To a place where you would be safe, where you wouldn’t be surrounded by nightmares..” He would say softly, his mind working at a million miles a second. He wasn’t stupid by any means. However he knew he needed to slow down and so he reached down for the half empty flask, opened it, took a small sip for himself, and then offered the rest to her. “Can I see them?..” He would ask softly, his voice saddened as he spoke the words. “Can I see what they did to you?..” He would flesh out the question. It was a dangerous question, for depending on where those scars were he might have just asked her to undress for him. However he didn’t care. Part of him needed to see.

[Tam 31]

Tamwyn’s reaction to her story was not what she expected. Somewhere in her she had always known what was happening was wrong, but she couldn’t fathom how it would make him upset. She would raise her head from his shoulder and turn her head to look at him, a look of worry in her eyes. “I didn’t mean to upset you, I’m sorry. Please don’t be angry with me.” She had to apologize, she needed to. For sixteen years her very survival had depended on her ability to beg for forgiveness. She had just broken the most important law that had been beaten into her, and she couldn’t bear the thought of him being angry with her.

His next few questions came out in a rapid stream, and she felt overwhelmed, trying to formulate an answer just as another question came. “Yes they- I don’t. . . I don’t know. Please, I don’t know.” She would plead with him as she struggled to keep up with his fast pace. Her head was swimming with whiskey and her heart with anguish and between the two her ability to form cohesive sentences was sorely lacking. It took her longer than it should have to process his offer to her, of a place to live. With him. It sounded nice on the surface, an escape to a place where she would be safe. But she’d long ago learned that she couldn’t trust anyone. That trust was only the precursor to betrayal and torment. She couldn’t trust that offer, not yet. But she also needed to not offend him so she would shake her head and say gently, “Maybe? I don’t know Tamwyn, I don’t know what to think about anything.”

When he offered the flask that still had alcohol in it to her she would accept immediately, no longer concerned with looking too eager she would snatch the container and take two gulps. She wanted to kill the pain somehow, to have it fade and lay still again. It never left her but she could maybe make silent for a time if she were drunk enough. When he asked his next question though she would nearly choke on the strong alcohol. Had he just asked her to take her clothes off? Her eyes filled with panic for a few seconds as she processed the request. No one had ever wanted to see them before, save their creators when they ran out of new and interesting ways to torture her. “You actually want to see them?” Her voice was filled with incredulity, to her they were hideous and had made an otherwise normal looking person look akin to some monster from a swamp. If he answered her or confirmed that he was genuinely invested in the idea she would nod and shrug as a warm wave of satisfaction coursed through her. The whiskey was definitely affecting her judgement, but that was a problem for tomorrow Yenn.

So she would pull away from him, stumbling a bit as her vision swayed and then turn to face the wall away from him. She would begin unbuttoning her leather shirt, letting out a small giggle at the situation. “I don’t know why you’d want to see them. They’re pretty terrible.” Once unbuttoned she would pull at the leather and toss it to the side in the dirt. “I hope you know what you’re asking for.”

When she apologized his eyes would lock onto hers and he would speak softly. “No Yenn, you misunderstand..I’m not upset at you. I’m not angry with you. I’m upset, I’m angry, at what you’ve had to go through..” He would say softly as he sighed deeply. He just couldn't imagine doing that to his own children. If he ever had any. The very idea of it was so alien to him that he literally could not compute it. His questions would clearly come too fast and he would give her an apologetic smile when she stopped trying to answer by telling him that she didn’t know. When his offer came, she wouldn’t give him a definite answer. He supposed he couldn’t blame her for that, the offer was coming out of nowhere, and both of them were definitely under the effects of the whiskey.

She took the flask, readily, without even a moment's hesitation and took two deep gulps however when he asked to see her scars she would nearly choke on the drink. Her eyes seemed panicked and when she asked for confirmation he would nod his head. He had to, he had to see the depths of the depravity this situation led to. Had to see what those monster’s had done to a woman who should have been their most cherished. Her response would be to nod and shrug and pull away from him. She would stumble, and turn to face away from him. Her arms would move to the front of her shirt and he assumed she would be unbuttoning them. A small giggle would escape her lips and he would feel a twinge deep inside. When she told him she wasn’t sure why he’d want to see them, that they were pretty terrible. Then she would finish unbuttoning the overshirt and toss it aside. Her words would fall on deaf ears as he focused on what was done to her.

He stood, and crossed over to her slowly. “I’m going to touch you..” He would say simply, before slowly, to give her time to adjust, running his fingers over the scarring upon her back. Without really knowing why, he’d kneel down, his full foot of height difference putting this essentially at as lower to mid back. Then he’d kiss her back softly, on some of her scars. Once he’d done that, he’d move up her back, repeating the gesture, until he was standing behind her, his hands on her shoulders.“I don’t see anything terrible..I see beauty. I see someone who has been through hell, and has survived. I see these as proof of what you have been through. Proof of inner strength, that those monsters can’t possibly contend with.” He would say, his voice low, but passionate. “Turn toward me?” He would ask, his questioning tone clear. His head was swimming itself at this point, the cold air blew into the cave mouth and his hands were incredibly warm against her skin. Of course if she didn’t, he would respect that. But he wanted to kiss the scars on her arms and hands too. He didn’t know why, but he felt the gesture had to be made.

[Tam 32]

Yenn found the current situation amusing, there she was, standing with her torso bare to the world. Much in the same way that Tamwyn had done when they’d first decided on a plan for Yuan Ji. The mild humour of it was all her emotional mind could take, her sarcastic wit bubbling up again as a defense mechanism. “I guess it’s only fair, what with you losing your shirt and all.” As he said he was going to touch her she tried to relax, she didn’t want to shock him again so she closed her eyes and concentrated on keeping her raiton inside her skin. Even with her actively preparing, she would still jump as she first felt his fingers over the jagged scars along her back. No lightning thankfully, but her body was only prepared for injury and pain when someone touched her.

She couldn’t see him with her back turned away, and she didn’t try. She felt awful as she imagined what he must be thinking. She knew how hideous the scars made her, nearly all of her skin was disfigured and raised with the echoes of Quan’s malicious lessons. It was part of why she covered all of her even now, years after. True she had a deep seated compulsion to hide them due to the threat of more violence should they be revealed. However there was no doubt in her mind that they were disgusting, and therefore made her disgusting as well. Which is why when she felt Tamwyn’s lips against her back she would let out a surprised gasp. His kindness broke something in her and she shook with the force of holding back her sobs as yet more tears streamed down her face. As he spoke of seeing beauty and strength she shook her head in disbelief, clenching her hands into small fists as her anguish rose to new heights. She couldn’t believe him, couldn’t let her whole life be a lie. She wasn’t strong, she was weak and useless. It was why she had her scars, because she couldn’t fight back. She had never fought back.

She would turn without question when he asked her to, it simply didn’t occur to her to disobey. She couldn’t bring herself to look at him, so her head would face the dirt as her tears continued to fall, her dark hair hanging over her face and providing her with some relief from his scrutiny. “I’m so sorry Tamwyn.” Her words came out in a choked and broken cry. She didn’t feel right burdening him with this. “I’m not strong, and I’m not worth. . .” She would gesture helplessly as she fought to get her breathing under control. “This. You were right, I did want to die. I still do. For just a second I was happy. I can’t live with it.”

He would feel her shaking as she held back her sobs, and as he spoke of beauty and strength, she shook her head in disbelief, denial. Her fists clenched, this was causing her pain. So much of it, but this, this wasn’t pain he could stop. For this pain could very well be that of a cleansing fire. With the purpose, and intent of pulling her from her shell. Of helping her stand tall despite what’s been done. When she turned toward him, she would look down. Unable to meet his eyes. Her tears streamed down her cheeks and her dark hair hung lank in front of her features. Like a curtain of ebony, protecting her from what she could not see. Her choked and broken apology, her self condemnation. Her admission of her desire to die. He let it all come out before he spoke. He let her get it all out before he moved to wrap an arm around her back and hug her. It wasn’t an embrace of lust due to her bare chest, it wasn’t an embrace of carnal desire. But one of someone who wanted to comfort another. Once that was done he would step a half step back and without a word he would raise her hand, and kiss the back of it, before moving toward the middle of her arm and kissing that. Each time his lips touched her skin. They touched her scars. He lifted her next arm and kissed her hand and arm there too.

“But you are strong...you just have to see..Your turmoil, your pain, has been the prelude, the building of a storm that will shake the very foundations of those who have harmed you. Those who have wronged you. They think they’ve broken you, they think you’re nothing. But I see a woman of strength. When Yuan Ji slashed me across the chest I didn’t see ‘fear’ in those eyes of violet lightning. I saw determination, and a vision of what you could be. You Yenn, are not weak. Not by any definition that matters.” He would raise a hand, and move away the hair hiding her features. Then, using the same hand he would tilt her head up, to meet his piercing, vibrantly glowing yellow eyes. He looked into pools of violet and inhaled sharply. “Every, single, bit of you, is beautiful. From your striking eyes, to even your scars. Because they make up who you are. Everyone is the author of their own story. Would you let yours end, before it even begins? I would find that a shame..” He would say. He would hug her to him then, his eyes locking onto hers, their faces only inches apart, their breath mingling between one another.

“You can live with it..You can not only live with it..but you can overcome it. Why refuse to give up on me, but choose instead to give up on yourself? Well I refuse to give up on you..I’ll stand with you. I’ll pick you up when you fall, and right you again. Whether you shock me, burn me, or not.” He would say, his eyes intense, his breathing would be sharp, shallow. The whiskey was lowering his inhibitions dramatically, he wanted to take her lips into his, wanted to share this night with her. But one dare not push themselves upon a storm. She was scared, nearly broken, and crying. His lips moved instinctively, and instead of wiping those tears he kissed them away. He held her close, her naked torso against his but he ignored the sensations of desire that evoked within him. She was more important than that. The woman was far more important this night. The storm continued it’s ferocious assault upon the landscape outside. The heat of the fire was starting to win out against the cold air, the stone around them reflecting the heat as it pushed back the cold. It was starting to get warm, or was that just him? He wasn’t sure. “I believe in you...I believe you’re strong..I know you’re beautiful, because I’ve looked upon you with my own eyes. I’ve had those scars beneath my lips.” He would say, the last as he instinctively licked his lips. “What can I do to prove it to you?..Tell me, and it’s yours..” He would say, his brilliant yellow eyes overflowing with concern, compassion, with an undertow of desire for the woman he held. He meant every word he said, he just hoped she could see that.

[Tam 33]

Her heart which had started the evening with a small crack was slowly shattering, crumbling into a thousand pieces. The pain was nearly unbearable as words and images flashed through her mind, her memories of a life of horror not yet so far removed from her present. His embrace was the thing that finally brought her silent sobs out of her control, and she stood there in his arms making pitiful and heart wrenching sounds as the pieces of her shattered heart began their slow and painful slicing through the walls she had built up. She allowed him to raise each of her hands in turn and kiss along the scars there. She had never felt the kind embrace of another before Tamwyn, it was strange and at the same time wonderful. Strange because his touch wasn’t causing her pain, and wonderful because she somehow felt safe with his arms around her.

She wanted to believe him when he said she was beautiful, that even her scars were beautiful. There was no denying that those scars made up who she was, but she couldn’t see how that was a good thing. When she looked at two identical vases the one without cracks throughout was the one she thought held value. “I want to believe you. God, I wish I could. It sounds like a beautiful dream and I wish it was mine.” She raised her eyes to meet his, forcing herself to keep eye contact when every bit of her wanted to look away. There was truth and danger in the eyes, not his, but others. To look into someone’s eyes was to challenge them, or so she had been taught. She knew that couldn’t be quite right, she’d seen Tamwyn hold her gaze more often than he hadn’t since she’d met him, and he’d never once yelled or snarled. She wanted to look into his eyes, they were beautiful and held a regard for her that she hadn’t seen from anyone before. The dichotomy of wanting something and being terrified of it was tearing at her and her breath came in shallow ragged gasps as she grappled with her emotions. His promise to be there for her, to help her should she fall, she could see the sincerity in him as he spoke. She instinctively flinched as his lips touched her face, kissing away her tears. She didn’t want him to stop though so she would force her body to listen to her wishes and stay still. He had promised he wouldn’t hurt her, and what was left of her heart knew that, she just needed her body to cooperate.

“I believe you.” She would say quietly, her sad violet eyes still holding his glowing yellow ones. “I believe that you believe it. That I’m. . . everything you said.” She still couldn’t bring herself to say those words out loud. That she was beautiful, or strong, or determined. Words gave ideas power and there was no power for her in those sentiments. “I just don’t believe it. Not yet, maybe one day, or maybe not ever. All I hear are the voices that tell me that I’m not good enough, that I’m useless or stupid. Burden, lazy, disgusting, worthless. . .” Her words came faster as she gave voice to the demons in her mind, and she would bring her scarred hands up to her temples and press down hard, trying to silence the memories that tormented her. “They are always in here screaming, I can’t make them stop.” His offer to prove that his words were sincere was surprising. He had offered her. . . anything? “I don’t know what I want in all honesty. I’ve never had anyone ask me what I want before. I. . . anything?” She would look at him shyly, the idea of being allowed to request something for herself a foreign concept to her.

He knew this was hard for her, impossibly so. Here he was challenging everything she believed about herself. Telling her she was wrong, and being absolutely steadfast in that belief. When she said she wanted to believe him he gave her a small smile. “It can be yours..beauty is more than just the physical body. Yours is beautiful even with that fact. However your heart is just as beautiful Yenn..It has it’s scars too. Dug into by those monsters who were supposed to cherish you, protect you, nurture you, guide you. But it’s still absolutely beautiful.” He would say as his flashing yellow eyes never looked away. She flinched as he kissed away her tears, but she didn’t tell him to stop, didn’t run. She said that she believed him as far as him believing it. However she couldn’t even get the words out. He’d listen, let her tell him of the subconscious voices telling all the bad things she believed about herself.

She would bring scarred hands to her head and press against her temples and press down. She would tell him of those voices always screaming, and how she couldn’t make them stop. When he told her she could ask anything of him in order to prove it she would get shy, as if she couldn’t believe it. “Yes..anything Yenn. But I want you to do something first..Look into my eyes, tell me what I see..Say those words you couldn’t say earlier. Even if it’s only once..Say them, because if you don’t start somewhere you’ll never begin the trek to healing. Those voices in your head are wrong. You’re not useless or lazy, you saved us after you landed. You aren’t worthless, you’re priceless, you aren’t disgusting, you’re beautiful..You aren’t a burden either..you’re an inexperienced genin who needs something she’s never had before..a guide.” He would say, leaning his forehead against hers.

“So, look me in the eyes, and tell me you’re beautiful, because someone else believes it with all their heart. Look me in the eyes and tell me you have value, because you have someone now who values you more than any other. Do it for yourself Yenn..” He would say, his voice soft, gentle, his hands gently rubbing her back, comfortingly. “What is it you want Yenn? Safety? I can have you moved in the moment we get back..Friendship? You have it, Love? We can see where it goes. Training? I’ll start teaching you my personal techniques, comfort? I’m here..We can go to sleep, you in my arms, and maybe..just maybe, the nightmares won’t come for either of us...I’ll do anything..” He would say his voice never rising, never increasing in speed. Just calmly telling her that she could ask for anything in the world, and he would deliver it.

[Tam 34]

Yenn was close to panic as Tamwyn asked her to speak his perceptions of her back to him. She would look into his eyes and then slide her gaze away, ashamed for even the thought of complying with his request. The words were only half formed in her mind and she thought she might choke on them. Taking a few shuddering breaths Yenn would lower her hands from her head and place them on either of Tamwyn’s arms, her grip tightening slightly as she tried to prepare herself to do as he had asked. She knew he was right, that she needed to start somewhere, but she hated it. She hated that she found the idea of admitting something positive about herself made her feel sick and wrong. She hated that she couldn’t even think the words without wanting to be swallowed into the quiet depths of the earth, never to be seen again. She hated that she was so weak, so broken that she couldn’t even take a compliment without it breaking her heart and bringing tears to her eyes.

With her heart pounding in her chest and shaking like a leaf she would slowly raise her head to look at him again. “I’m. . . beauti-.” She could only hold his gaze for a moment as a look of abject misery took over her features and she looked away, fresh tears pouring down her face. The grip of her hands would tighten as she struggled to keep herself standing, her knees no longer willing to hold the weight of her emptiness. She would continue to sob, her voice wracked with the pain and guilt of her whole life as he spoke of what he would do for her. She wanted everything he spoke of, more than anything. To be valued, to matter to someone, to him. And still she heard the demons of her past whisper to her, that she didn’t deserve any of it. Their words clawing at her as she heard the thunder peal outside the cave in time with her beating heart. A mocking echo of her anguish.

It was infuriating, the lack of control she had on her own heart, and the longer she dwelt on that thought the more her fury rose. Her eyes would meet his, glowing with anger and despair as she begged him in a voice cracking with her suffering. “Please Tamwyn, I can’t. I can’t say it. Don’t make me say it.” She could hear the rain against the ground, the wind as it screeched through the trees and her stare became intense. “I want to go outside. Please.” Her voice was desperate as she asked for his permission. Permission that she should have known was not required, but that she always sought because she knew that she was a creature only made to fulfill the whims of others.

Tamwyn wouldn’t take his eyes away from her. Her arms would go to Tamwyn’s, her grip tightening as she prepared herself. She began to shake like a leave as she looked him in the eyes and began to say it. She was so very close to it. Their faces were inches apart again, their breath intermingling and Tamwyn felt his heart skip as she tried to admit a simple truth to herself. However before she could finish it a look of horrible misery crossed her face and she instinctively looked away. New tears formed in her eyes and her grip on him tightened. Instinctively he moved to turn her back toward him, and wipe her tears. A look of patient understanding upon his features. A look of sadness in his eyes at what she had been through. More importantly, as she sobbed, he would hug her tight, not letting go for even a moment. His arms were wrapped around her waist, holding her against him. He wanted her to know, beyond any shadow of a doubt that he was there.

Tears found their way to his own eyes as he thought of much she had been hurt. They came unbidden, and trailed small streaks of liquid down his cheeks. But he wouldn’t take his eyes from her. He hated this, hated how much she would have to go through in order to try to fix the damage that had been done to her. Hated the pain she felt at just trying to take one simple step. Her eyes would glow with anger and despair and she begged him in a voice overflowing with suffering for him to not make her say it. That she just couldn’t. Once those words left her mouth his heart broke. Slowly without any thought, he would close the distance between them. Or at least move to, and press his lips to hers, in a simple kiss. Not passionate, or filled with the heat of ardor for another. But tentative, and unsure of how she would react to such an action. He’d hold it for a moment, if allowed before breaking it and looking into Yenn’s eyes. “That’s okay, any progress is better than not even trying Yenn. You came close to saying it, and that’s good enough for me. Just hold onto the knowledge that I think you are, no, know you are. You still get to make a request of me..Anything, hell everything..I don’t care.” He would say, his voice soft, calm, and oddly sad.

At her request to go outside an eyebrow would raise. “You don’t need to ask me Yenn, you’re your own person. All I’ll ask is do you want me to come with you? Or is this something you need to do alone?” He would ask, his eyes not leaving hers and looking into hers with trust and concern for the woman. If she wanted him too, or even if she said it wasn’t something she needed to do alone. He would follow her outside, intent on making sure she was alright. Intent on ensuring that she knew she had someone there supporting her.

[Tam 35]

Tamwyn’s arms around her waist as he held her close to him was the only sensation that she could feel grounding her. Everything else that she felt was ethereal and filled her with more doubt and fear. She felt like a ghost, not quite in touch with the world around her. His presence was comforting and insistent, even as she turned from him to suffer and cry in her private phantasmal solitude he was there to pull her back again. A gentle touch and a patient look in his eyes, and then she saw his tears through her own. And as she went to protest, to tell him not to cry for her he would move forward and place his lips against hers. Her eyes would widen slightly at the show of affection, unsure of what she was supposed to do she would attempt to return the kiss, in the awkward ‘never been kissed before so not especially adept’ way. His lips were soft and she could taste the salt of their mingled tears. She felt a strange sense of safety in that kiss and she would close her eyes and lean into him, allowing the world to fade away for one brief and beautiful moment.

As he pulled back from her the cruel outside world would come rushing back, and with it all the pain and anger that tormented her. He told her it was okay, that she’d come close enough. And she would breathe a sigh of relief, one tiny knot loosening in the noose around her soul as he released her from the burden of speaking things she couldn’t believe. He had been assigned to this mission as a guide, someone to help her gain experience in the field. And while he had done that, he had gone so much further beyond what was required of him. She stood in his arms and heard him offer her literally anything. And the only thing she could think to ask for was his permission. His approval for her to step a few feet out into the rain. As his eyebrow raised she expected his answer to be a ‘no’, and when it wasn’t her mind reeled again. He not only wouldn’t stop her, he would allow her to go alone. Somewhere in the back of her mind she knew she should agree with his sentiment, that she didn’t need his permission, that she was her own person. But years of being forced to do quite the opposite of exert her autonomy and independence had her well and horribly trained.

She hadn’t thought that she would go alone, and so when it was offered it scared her and she would shake her head in an emphatic ‘no’. “Come with me. Please.” Her voice was quiet and meek as she made her plea. She would move her hand to try to hold one of his as she turned and attempted to make her way into the storm.

The saltiness of their mingled tears, and the taste of Yenn’s lips were the only things Tamwyn knew for those short moments. The world faded, the storm disappeared, all that mattered was the woman in his arms, who was sharing the kiss with him. He was mildly surprised when she returned the kiss. It was awkward, but he himself hadn’t exactly moved with forethought in this. A sense of warmth moved through him, a desire to hold her close and never let that kiss end. The need to not let her go. His heart seemed to stop, and the world simply ceased to matter. When he eventually broke the kiss, the effort of doing so almost made him wail. There was something inexplicably perfect in it. Something that simply seemed ‘right’ as if it all clicked. But he wouldn’t push it, good things don’t last forever after all. He somehow doubted that it would be their only kiss. Hoped so anyway.

It was actually quite amusing, they had come on this mission with his job being to guide her and help her gain the experience necessary to take on higher ranked missions. In the process something far deeper seemed to have occurred here, something that he could never have imagined when he woke up that morning. His mind wandered to the earlier offer of her staying with him if she wanted. The idea of the context of that offer, mixing with what one might assume from this kiss was enough to make the pale man’s face redden, but he forced it down. He hadn’t made that offer to take advantage of her. He had made it to give her a safe place, and the more he thought of it the more he realized that she probably wasn’t the only person in Kumogakure needing a place like that. Silently, within the vaults of his mind and soul. He came to a decision there. When he returned to Kumogakure, he would make preparations. First, he would set aside a room for her. Even if she didn’t accept his offer immediately. He would make damn sure a place was ready for her if, and when she did. Secondly, he would open up the doors of that home to those who needed safety.

Marginally, he felt the weight of what he had done to that girl in the Land of Earth lift off his shoulders. He was still worried about his desires to hunt, and slaughter his ‘prey’. The desires to take what was his like an animal. Those had come from his experience with Sayuri, and those wouldn’t be going away nearly so easily. When he asked her if she wanted to go alone, her answer would be timid, her head shake quite clear. He would nod his head in response. “Of course, I told you didn’t? I’m going to stand with you. I’m going to help you and in every conceivable way I can.” He would say softly as she moved her hand into his and he held hers back. They moved into the storm outside, the rain cold and wind harsh. He was soaked instantly, but the fire inside would dry them in short order when they returned. He would follow her, wherever she needed to go in the storm. He would support her, bear witness to whatever was needed, and if Yuan Ji showed his face again. He would kill him, before he ever physically came close to harming her.

[Tam 36]

Yenn walked with determination out into the rain, the water pouring over her skin and hair and soaking her to the bone. With her hand gently held in Tamwyn’s she raised her arms to either side of her and tilted her face to the sky, letting the rain wash over her. Closing her eyes she would let herself feel the wind and hear the thunder, letting the violence of the storm cradle her. She could feel the water washing away her tears, and she knew that the blood and dirt on her feet would soon be gone, swept away by the downpour. She would stand there for several minutes, silent on the outside as her emotions raged inside. She felt at home within the tempest, it held a danger and a strength that she envied. It stopped for no one, it did as it pleased and all were subject to its will. She wished to have that power, to feel unstoppable. And as she thought back to all the times where she had ever wished that her face would twist, fighting the oncoming deluge as she was unable to calm herself.

She could hear his voice now as her thoughts turned dark, when her past would whisper that she wasn’t enough she could hear him call that a lie. Over and over the two ideas fought as she stood stalwart against the pelting rain. Faintly at first and then with increasing urgency she would speak the word ‘no’ to the invisible monsters she faced. Her mind filled with the memories of pain and darkness and malicious laughter. She hadn’t ever stopped them, hadn’t even tried. The closest she’d come was by running and in the end she even failed at that. She didn’t know that she could. And here was someone that told her she had that right, that she did have value. And that he would stand with her. And with his hand over hers she started to believe him. That at least with him beside her she could fight back. And that she didn’t need to do it alone. Every whispered threat, every beating, every sleepless night spent in terror and every bolt of electricity sent through her mind she would wince and say ‘no.’ Until finally she screamed into the storm covered sky, an unintelligible noise that the storm swallowed whole with peals of thunder and flashes of lightning.

Her eyes would open as she felt her fury reach new heights and she would howl her heartache into the void. “Why?!” was all she would repeat, each repetition simultaneously causing her more anger and breaking her down. Her eyes would flash as she dared the storm to answer her, to strike her down as she fell to her knees before it. She would keep her hand still in Tamwyn’s as she fell if he allowed her, squeezing it gently as she tried to quell the storm that now raged within her. “Why Tamwyn? I don’t understand. I’ve never understood. What did I do that was so wrong? What did I do to deserve any of it? All I was ever told was that I shouldn’t have been born, that was my sin. Just by existing I was unworthy.” Her mournful and desperate words were spoken to the sky, the flashes of lightning casting an eerie glow over her pale face as she would turn to look at her companion. “Tamwyn, I don’t deserve it, but please help me. I need to understand.”

He would stand with her, keeping his hand in hers the entire time. The fury the storm raged around them and as she rose her arms he would keep their hands together. He had no intention of letting her out of his grasp. He didn’t know why, didn’t understand why it mattered to him so much and perhaps he never would. That was okay though, right now all that mattered was the woman who he was standing with in the storm. They would stand there for several minutes, him patiently waiting, his brilliantly glowing eyes upon her. The storm excited him, drew something from him. The hair on his arms stood on end and he felt the small charge of Raiton chakra flow through him, causing his eyes to be even more brilliant than normal. They would remain on her, not the display of lightning, wind, and water within the sky. Not the surrounding area around them. They didn’t interest him, no, only she did.

He would see her lips move, the word ‘no’ clear upon them as she stood, staring at the sky in defiance. He would keep his hand, glued into hers, gripping lightly to show that he was there. A silent supporter in her endeavor to combat the storm within herself, as she braved the one around her. The word ‘no’ would escape her lips again and again, a rage building within her before she screamed it into the sky. The word swallowed up by thunder and lightning. The storm was not impressed, no, but give it. Give her time to gain more strength, gain more power, and it would be. Her eyes would open, as her fury expanded and she would howl into the storm filled night. It wasn’t ‘no’ this time, but ‘why?’. She repeated the word again and again, each time she seemed to get angrier and angrier and her eyes would flash up at the sky, daring it to do it’s worst. He stood there with her, the entire time, supporting her, his firm grip in her hand.

She would fall to her knees, and Tamwyn would follow her down. He felt her squeeze his hand gently as she worked to combat the storm within her before she asked him the same question. ‘Why?’ ‘What did I do to deserve this?’ ‘Why did they say such things to me?’. He silently transferred her hand into his other one, freeing the one closest so he could wrap an arm around her shoulders. He held her that way as she turned her head toward him, looking him in the eyes, stunning violet, meeting a brilliantly glowing yellow. “The only thing you did wrong, was be better than they Yenn. I would wager that they had high hopes for their child, and you were not what they were expecting. They took that out on you, their firstborn. They tortured you, hated you, but couldn’t remove you without raising suspicion.” He would say, his eyes staring unblinking into hers. “Looking at you now, I think they were right, you weren’t what they expected..What they didn’t see, what they couldn’t understand. Is that you are so much more than they ever could have expected. You have power Yenn..a lot of it, you just need to learn how to harness and control it. I’ll help you however I can…” He would say, his eyes still boring into hers. “You might ask ‘why’ I would be willing to do such. Why I’m willing to stand with you. They’re good questions. The answer is because you deserve so much more than you’ve been given. If I knew nothing else, that would be enough. Beyond that, I don’t want to see you hurt. I want to help you in any way I can..” He would say at last, his words fading into the storm as he leaned his forehead to hers. “May I...do it again?” He would ask, his words quiet, almost carried away by the storm. His words were vague, but one look into his eyes would probably be enough to convey his true meaning. They brimmed with concern, sadness, and a spark of desire to see her happy. He was asking her permission this time, unlike in the cave before coming out here, but he wanted to kiss her again all the same.

[Tam 37]

As she fell to her knees she felt Tamwyn fall with her, and having his presence there helped to quiet her rage. As his arms moved around her shoulder she would lean into him and look into his brilliantly glowing eyes as he tried to give her an explanation. She found his words puzzling, and was taken aback as her heart lied to her when he said ‘I think they were right’. The panic that those words evoked was short lived as he continued to impress upon her how valuable he thought she was. He spoke with such sincerity that it was hard to not believe him, and she yearned to see herself through his eyes. To see the powerful and brave and beautiful woman he saw. Not the eternally frightened wretch that she had become.

As she listened she wondered why he cared. Again. She’d been wondering about it since she first met him. Why would he even bother to be anything to her but a mission partner, to ask about her life, to offer her anything in the world to help her. His answer to her silent question was just as confusing. She couldn’t wrap her mind around it. She didn’t want puppies to be hurt but she didn’t go out of her way and almost get herself killed just to make sure they were safe. Her musing was cut off as he leaned his forehead against hers and they were only a breath apart again. For a moment Yenn didn’t understand what he was asking her, until she looked into his eyes. His radiant and luminous yellow eyes. They were filled with the truth of his words, and she could see in them the truth of his heart. She had no words in return as her breath caught in her throat, stifling her voice. With a gentle squeeze to his hand again she would nod ‘yes’, some of the anger fading from her eyes as she held his gaze.

Her nod, and gentle squeeze were the answer to his question and he softly tilted her head up and took her lips with his again. It wasn’t quite so experimental this time however. There was a depth, a genuine desire in it. The feel of her soft lips against his made the entire world around them seemingly disappear again. The storm that raged about them faded into nothing more than a mild distraction. His pounding heart could be ignored with little issue and through it all he simply wanted it to never end. Instinctively, he took his arm from her shoulder and placed it on her waist. His other hand however never left hers and he squeezed hers gently as they kissed while a storm raged around them. The smell of the forest, a scent that didn’t seem to leave her, came to him. He would find himself craving that before long he was sure.

The kiss continued for much longer than the original. Tamwyn honestly lost track of how long. It wasn’t his first, or his second. Yet he didn’t know what about this kiss, this woman’s kiss made him want it more and more. Eventually however, he would break it. Still too soon in his eyes and his luminous eyes would need hers with a small, contented smile on his features. His eyes reflected the emotion, but held a degree of raw determination in them. He wanted her to be okay, and he would see it done. “My offer earlier..about living with me?..It’s open, you can accept it whenever you want if you do. I’ll have a room prepared for you, always.” He would say softly, his voice somehow carrying over the storm as he gently gripped her hand again. After a moment he would laugh lightly, an actually joyous sound coming from his lips. “Look at me, two kisses and I’m asking you to move in.” He would jest, the act of doing so sending him into more laughter under the storm.

After a time it would calm, his laughter, the storm was much more adamant. “I mean it though, you’ll be safe there. No memories around you making it harder to sleep. A sense of safety about you at all times..” He stopped before he could say the word ‘me’. Unsure why the word would come to his lips. This offer wasn’t meant to be romantic, it was meant to give her an option beyond what she had. An option to be safe, warm, and happy. It shouldn’t matter if he was there. Although he did want her there, and he’d be lying if he said it was just so she would be safe. “Let’s head back inside shall we? I’m going to freeze to death out here.” He would say, finally noting and remembering that nights in this season in the Land of Lightning were fucking cold. “Besides, we should get some sleep if we can.” He would add, standing, and keeping his hand in hers if she came up with him. He would lead her back to the cave, before moving over to the fire and sitting near it, cherishing it’s warmth. He would note his skin had a faint bluish tinge to it, and he shivered uncontrollably.

[Tam 38]